I've been quiet for a while so, have you missed me?
It's been observed that I've not posted on b3ta QOTW for a while (apart from the gym posts).

So, in the spirit of (my) outright vanity, have you missed me, not thought about me, are thrilled to see me post or not give a flying monkey turd?

Be nice as I'm pretty sure I'm about 3 steps from postal-like mental flip-outtage :)
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:16, 63 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

jtw!
I simply follow your food-inspired Facebook updates to get my fix. It helps me with my menu planning.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:17, Reply)

Ahh food
And pies and more pies.

Am. Not. Addicted. To. Pies....
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:23, Reply)

I care so little
That I can't be bothered to find a flying monkey turd so that I refrain from giving it to you. Instead you'll have to settle for a hello.
( Captain V, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:17, Reply)

Ahhh
A hello is always welcome

**waves**
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:23, Reply)

I have no idea who the hell you are,

(PsychoChomp, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:21, Reply)

Fair point
I look in the mirror and think exactly the same thing some days :)
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:22, Reply)

Deep, dude,
deeeep
(PsychoChomp, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:25, Reply)

Oh yes
In fact, this morning, I stared in to the mirror and all I saw was mist - I wondered whether I was in fact dead or going mad.

Then I realised I had just had a shower and the mirror was steamed up.

On a more serious note - I do look in the mirror and wonder why the hell I bothered to get up just to go to work today.
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:26, Reply)

alright james_tiger_woods

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:22, Reply)

Hello
Hello! :)
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:23, Reply)

If I say
I haven't missed another faceless bore posting their inane dribble on the internet will you go mental and post something amusing?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:24, Reply)

Doubt it
Probably not - I range from angry ranting to mildly amusing.

What I may do, however, is try to find a high powered rifle, head to the water tower outside my office, start a fire (somehow) in the main building and start shooting when people come out - Death by fire or death bu gun - it's a toughie - Non?
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:28, Reply)

I would have been nice
but you said "I've been quite" And that annoyed me
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:30, Reply)

Feck
So I did

**goes off to correct it**

I hate bad grammar - especially when it's mine!
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:33, Reply)

You need to spend more time with me and/or Kaol
You might want to throw yourself out of a helicopter flying over a shark near a bridge but you'd never be bored.
( Captain V, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:29, Reply)

Sky diving then
There's a sky diving outfit just near me (about a mile away) - If i had the money, I'd get my certification....

I'd love to see how close to the ground I could get before I **had** to deploy my 'chute.....

**laughs manically**
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:31, Reply)

Well, I guess the last thing that'd
Go through your mind as you hit the ground would be your feet.
( Cawl, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:37, Reply)

What if you landed on your back?

( Captain V, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:39, Reply)

*shrugs*
Why don't you find out and then tell me?
( Cawl, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:40, Reply)

Reverse charge
Will you accept a reverse charge from hell?
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:43, Reply)

Possibly
But I am unhinged enough to seriously wonder what that would be like...
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:39, Reply)

Crunchy and meaty, I'd imagine.
Like a raw pork-chop smoothie with the bones still in.
( Cawl, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:41, Reply)

Ooo, tasty
.
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:42, Reply)

Sounds like we've got another Mcdonalds fan here.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:44, Reply)

Um
No, not sure they use meat - More they use "meat"
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:46, Reply)

I can't think of anything
That I'd rather have sliding down my throat.
( Cawl, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:49, Reply)

I'm concerned.
You're not planning trips to the south pole and marrying everyone are you?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:43, Reply)

No, no
Only the penguins
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:44, Reply)

Yes, I have missed you.
The days went by agonizingly slow when you were gone, but those days are no more.
I'm so glad to have you home *sniffles*
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:26, Reply)

Sarcasm?
I'm sensing sarcasm :)
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:29, Reply)

Not one bit, darling
Now, I was thinking, since you're back, for good I hope, that we could begin with a walk around the garden. Remember how much you used to love that?
We could take our tea there, it's two sugars, no milk, right?
I remember these things *blushes*
*wonders if we'll hold hands like we used to*
*blushes some more*
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:32, Reply)

Ooo, you do remember
I did love that...

Do you remember the river tours - we'd get in our boat and sail, merrily, down the river in the sun. You'd've packed the lunch and I brought the wine and we'd drift, happily, endlessly downstream.
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:35, Reply)

Of course I remember, dear.
How could I forget?
The champagne at sunset...feeding the swans from the park bench...the gondolier reading poetry...*sighs*
Such marvelous times.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:39, Reply)

Ahhh
Yes, such happy times

The dancing in the moonlight, the warm summer rain

**sighs**
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:40, Reply)

and it will be happy again
now that you're back

where did you go?
All I got was a note saying goodbye. I kept it.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:49, Reply)

But
But the note said, I'll be back - I'm just popping out for milk

But don't worry, I'll be round later with some flowers
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 14:09, Reply)

*turns note over*
oh
*blushes*
*swoons*
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 14:09, Reply)

Glad you liked that part
I've been to an expensive underwear shop and [insert high class jeweller here] too.

I could never stay away - we're like peas in a pod...
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 14:18, Reply)

Stop grooming him.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:37, Reply)

I've been bereft*
*Pleased to meet you. I'm Roota.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:30, Reply)

Greetings
And salutations :)
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:32, Reply)

How do you say your username?
I say it in my head like rooooooooo- ter, or should I say router.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:49, Reply)

Erm...
I think it's like 'hooter'.
It means 'one who roots' rather than some technical thingy that I've heard you folk discussing.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:51, Reply)

Another mystery solved.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:54, Reply)

Yeah, you'll sleep peacefully now.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:56, Reply)

How you you say mine?

( Cawl, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:56, Reply)

A cross between Kayol and Kale?
Yes?

EDIT: Gawd, it's not Kowl is it?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:58, Reply)

Ah, self doubt.
Best of all the edits.
( Cawl, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 14:01, Reply)

Ha!
Kowl then?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 14:01, Reply)

No.

( Cawl, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 14:02, Reply)

Listen, Rumpel-fuckin-stiltskin
Just tell me!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 14:02, Reply)

I'm bored of this game now.
Goodbye.
( Cawl, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 14:04, Reply)

Kock it is then!
*tuts*
*gets fired*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 14:08, Reply)

I was wondering where you were
but I keep seeing you post on PJMs facebook status so I know you're around. And that makes me feel a little bit warm inside.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:36, Reply)

Add me then?
Feel free to add me then :)

I'm not on b3ta much as it's blocked at work and I can't remember the proxy workaround - even if I did, I probably wouldn't use it as the internet police have been pretty harsh these days....
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:38, Reply)

if you add him
you will find a whole new world of culinary Facebook where detailed meals are planned, consumed and listed. It's a great appetite stimulant. The days when he can't get the food he wants are very traumatic.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:40, Reply)

Trauma?
I'm not sure trauma is the right word, but god forbid I don't eat pies...

Saying that, I think food does indeed make up the main status notes.
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:41, Reply)

Right, i've requested you now
I hope these recipes are worth it.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:54, Reply)

Pies
It involves Greggs and Pies.

That's as adventurous as I get - Well, not really, but that's how it looks....
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 14:10, Reply)

*waves*
Hello! :)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:41, Reply)

**grins**
Hullo!
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:42, Reply)

Good to see you back JTW
Your facebook updates keep me amused, chickenlady often remarks "Is he eating pies again? How does he do it?".

For the record, Mr JTW is not a blubbery fat bloke.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:52, Reply)

It's your fault
Well, not really, but I'm blaming you anyway - I do try to come on here as much as I can, in fact, I should be working right now instead of posting on here.....

I do hear that my "Pie" escapades as well known and travel wide.

And no, stress keeps me thin - when the stress goes, I'll take up smoking.

Failing that I'll excercise.

Maybe.
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 14:11, Reply)