A question for the boys.
If there were only two women left on the planet and they're Jordan and Kerry Katona, who would you choose?

Evil Barbie or chavtastic Kerry?
( girlinthehole, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:02, 47 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Jordan
Being evil is way better than being a chav.
( Captain V, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:03, Reply)

Yes but she'll turn you into a wimp like she did with Pete.
At least you can have a laugh with Kerry.
( girlinthehole, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:07, Reply)

Nah
Wouldn't happen.
( Captain V, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:08, Reply)

Yeah', Pete was a tough guy before he meet Jordon

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:15, Reply)

wuh eva gonz he cud win da tuff man compatishun
ALWAIS LUVIN PEET XXxXX
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:38, Reply)

I'm not a boy but I'd do Jordan any day of the week

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:05, Reply)

Jordan.
She seems like she might be able to write her own name without eating the crayon.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:06, Reply)

hah!

(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:40, Reply)

Threesome.
I love that dirty feeling of having a threesome with the dregs of humanity.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:06, Reply)

Can you imagine motorboating Jordan
That would have to come with a drowning warning
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:07, Reply)

Probably Jordan
kerry is slightly more annoying.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:09, Reply)

For procreative purposes
I'd wank in their shoes and let the flies do the rest.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:09, Reply)

Jordan.
I'm in no doubt she's actually got a brain under all that cheap makeup and botox, while Katona is just a vacant bag of organs.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:10, Reply)

Oh for sure
look how she has capitalised on the Jordan brand whilst keeping Katy Price as a seperate more demure brand writing childrens books!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:15, Reply)

Sometimes I find it difficult to work out if you're being candid or facetious.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:19, Reply)

Oh I was being serious there...
I'll stick warnings on my serious posts in future.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:23, Reply)

Nah don't
It's more fun guessing.

I saw a sort of self-promoting documentary about her, years ago before she got 'famous' and she was bright, clued-up and knew what she wanted to get out of life. She's smarter than her exterior suggests.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:24, Reply)

Yeah
If you watch interviews of her as Katy rather than Jordan and ignore the accent she seems to have a very solid idea of what she wants and she seems to have achieved most of it as well
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:28, Reply)

So did Hitler.
Nearly.
( girlinthehole, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:31, Reply)

What if....
Max Clifford was Hitler's PR guy....
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:33, Reply)

THere's only two women left on the planet and you all want the one you can do the crossword with rather than have fun.
Okaaaaaay!
( girlinthehole, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:12, Reply)

Erm
Crosswords are fun.
( Captain V, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:13, Reply)

I just prefer sex with girls who can string a coherent sentence together.
Mostly. While not denying the occasional attraction to the opposite.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:16, Reply)

Contrary to popular belief
Men don't just want a quick shag. It's better to have someone who is a good match to you, socially, and intellectually, than just having a girl with a big pair of tits who's good in the sack.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:19, Reply)

woah
what?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:19, Reply)

LIES
ON THE INTERNET
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:19, Reply)

I wholeheartedly agree with this notion.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:22, Reply)

Maybe I'm only saying this
because my girlfriend is smart and has big tits.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:23, Reply)

Pffft!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:24, Reply)

I didn't realise they
made "smart" blow up dolls
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:26, Reply)

You'd be surprised

( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:26, Reply)

Jordan
I cannot fucking bear that stupid thick minger Kerry Katona.

I imagine Jordan at least has some skill in the sack. and occasionally she has looked almost pretty.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:14, Reply)

For my own response.
I would rather be celibate for the rest of my life than touch either of them with yours.

Jordan is dead behind the eyes and I can't imagine her being any fun at all, in or out of the sack and Kerry is just plain too skanky to contemplate getting naked with.
( girlinthehole, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:19, Reply)

Yes, this.
Those are the very worst possible women, ever. I'd rather just go live on the other side of the planet and never talk to either of them, ever.
(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:22, Reply)

You've actually SEEN Girls Aloud, right?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:23, Reply)

hvae you?
girls aloud are at least pretty.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:24, Reply)

Well
80% of them anyway.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:25, Reply)

There's an ad for a show about them doing the rounds on Sky atm
where they're dressed up and made up and writhing and pouting to their music on stage. It's the most unattractive thing I've seen for a while.

Nothing turns me off more than that plastic, perfected look. And super-shiny lips. They're just fucking odd and make women look like they've failed to clear-up properly after a sneeze.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:35, Reply)

yeah, super shiny lips are weird
not a fan at all.

they aren't even close to my preferred type either, but (ignoring the cold dead eyes of whichever one nicola is) they are actually mostly quite pretty. forget the music and gyrating and the stupid costumes and the fact that Nadine (I think) never ever smiles.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:39, Reply)

Really?
Nicola has the cold dead eyes of a much used whore.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:35, Reply)

haha
she has real trouble with realisitc looking smiles as well
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:37, Reply)

Jordan with the following provisos
1. From behind so I don't have to look at her fucked up lips.
2. She keeps her mouth shut during as the voice would put me off my stroke
3. A2M
4.
5. Profit!
( Peej, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:35, Reply)

Sui
cide.
(Tiny Blindfolded Horse Kitten sound car horns would end road rage, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:38, Reply)

Jordan.
And then I would go 'round to Kerry's house and sing:

"You're all that is wrong with the world! Pleeeeaaase Diiiiie!"
(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:49, Reply)

Whichever it was....
...I'd be buying extra-safe condoms and be prepared for a post-coital brillo pad scrub.

If I were forced to make a decision, it would be Katona as Jordan is ever so slightly more irritating.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 30 Jul 2009, 15:03, Reply)

Luckily, Jade Goody is out of the running for this one...

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 30 Jul 2009, 15:04, Reply)

Listen, there's sex with Jordan
and then there's beastiality.
(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 15:08, Reply)