Tired of hairy babies?
This should sort out that problem quite nicely.
Tell me your naughty thoughts.
( thealternativefact, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:04, 48 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I like to imagine that you are wearing
a skin tight rabbit costume and spanking me with fish slice.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:06, Reply)

slice
( Cawl, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:07, Reply)

This isn't naughty.
This is reasonable.
( thealternativefact, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:08, Reply)

You don't want to hear my naughty thoughts

(PsychoChomp, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:10, Reply)

Actually,
I kinda do.
( Cawl, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:11, Reply)

Me too.

( thealternativefact, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:12, Reply)

tough luck

(PsychoChomp, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:21, Reply)

How rude!
This is my thread, young man.
( thealternativefact, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:22, Reply)

They don't involve anyone you know,
and I'm not a particularly imaginative perve.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:14, Reply)

I'm just vaguely interested
As to what makes you tick.
( Cawl, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:14, Reply)

A mixture of sarcasm bile and alcohol.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:15, Reply)

You've quit smoking then?

( Cawl, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:17, Reply)

Nah that doesn't make me tick though
just keeps me functioning.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:19, Reply)

That's a good point.
A good point indeed.
But now I'm all fuckin' twitchy for a smoke. Great.
( Cawl, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:23, Reply)

ME TOO!
And it's about to chuck it down, so now's the time.
( thealternativefact, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:23, Reply)

Really?
It's sunglasses-weather here.
( Cawl, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:25, Reply)

By that I mean
"It's not night-time".
( Cawl, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:30, Reply)

It was nice...
but now it's not.
I may even have to wear my Emergency Cardigan.
( thealternativefact, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:31, Reply)

Is it stowed underneath your chair?
And are you exits here, here and here?
( Captain V, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:33, Reply)

No,
Her nearest exit may be behind her.
( Cawl, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:34, Reply)

Kaol is correct.
He is clearly very knowledgeable about aircraft and must therefore be nothing less than an aeronautical engineer.
( thealternativefact, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:38, Reply)

Nah, I've just been in your office.
I have no knowledge of aeronautics.
( Cawl, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:39, Reply)

WHO HAS STOLEN KAOL'S ACCOUNT?

( thealternativefact, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:40, Reply)

Nobody.

( Cawl, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:41, Reply)

You're in a bad mood!

( thealternativefact, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:41, Reply)

Am I?
Er... If you say so.
( Cawl, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:42, Reply)

Just work is busy,
Got a lot of tying of loose ends to do.
( Cawl, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:43, Reply)

Who are you restraining?
always handy to have some spare rope around.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:56, Reply)

I expect his latest research into
molecular biology and hotel furniture didn't go as planned.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:43, Reply)

I'll tell you mine if you want.

(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:44, Reply)

Of course I want.

( thealternativefact, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:44, Reply)

Nazi-women, wasn't it?

( Cawl, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:45, Reply)

My ulitmate fantasy
I'm walking through Hackney Wick after a pretentious art private view when in mitten derinen a group of fit, but slightly alternative and slightly uncouth and chavy girls accosts me.
They take me to a warehouse and tie me up, gag me and write rude things about me in makeup all over my body and spit on me.
Then they bring in 'Heskey'

'Heskey' is a huge African chap with a massive cock. I am forced to swallow his thick, exotic chocolate pole whilst the girl gang laugh at me.

Then the girls each take it in turns to fuck all the orifices in my pathetic white body with massive strapons before I'm left in a heap to wank myself off.
(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:49, Reply)

you're all there as well.

(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:50, Reply)

You realise that
"Heskey" won't be able to achieve turgidity, and will actually be using a cunningly-placed prosthesis?
( Cawl, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:52, Reply)

WHERE WILL HE HIDE HIS COCK?

( thealternativefact, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:53, Reply)

I have no idea.
But his balls will be fully accessible.
( Cawl, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:54, Reply)

I was tempted to do that joke
but I thought I'd move on. I expect we'll be able to mock a different person today.
(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:53, Reply)

I dunno...
I prefer to milk something like this until the teats are cracked and dry.
As a Serious Side-Note, I'm looking at a car for sale this weekend. By strange coincidence, it happens to be an Accord.
( Cawl, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:55, Reply)

Just because you frown as you type things,
it doesn't mean they're serious.
( thealternativefact, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:56, Reply)

I'm not frowning.
I'm CONCENTRATING.
( Cawl, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:57, Reply)

It has been pre-ordained by GOD
you must buy a HONDA ACCORD and kill infidels.
(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 13:01, Reply)

I might do.
I'm slightly dubious as to the price, it seems far too cheap.
We shall see.
If I get it, there shall be pictures.
( Cawl, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 13:02, Reply)

pictures blood on the streets.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 13:04, Reply)

Does Heskey shoot 10 yards wide?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:51, Reply)

Yes - a great improvement.

( thealternativefact, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:52, Reply)

I forgot to mention
Heskey is wearing a replica Leicester City strip and cums his name and number on my back.
(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:52, Reply)

Now that's sick filth.
( thealternativefact, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:53, Reply)