I'm at work, bored, horny and feeling a bit bolshy.
What can I shop for on the internet?
( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 10:13, 51 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

A GREAT BIG BLACK DILDO

(MoistTickle we are legion, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 10:14, Reply)

I already have five.

( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 10:17, Reply)

a small white dildo?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 10:20, Reply)

That occasionally, for no reason, goes all floppy.

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 11:15, Reply)

+inside me

(PsychoChomp, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 12:04, Reply)

...
Slow day?
( Cawl, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 12:07, Reply)

I'll be doing strike throughs next,
and no I've had a busy day.
I'm totally the office hero.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 12:08, Reply)

How have you saved the day this time?

( Cawl, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 12:13, Reply)

If a proposal I just wrote this morning gets accepted,
I'll save the DofH approx £2.5 million a year.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 12:15, Reply)

Can I have a thankyou from everyone who pays tax?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 12:17, Reply)

Er...
Thank you.
They'll just spend it on something else though.
EDIT: And why WOULDN'T they accept your proposal? Does it involve Satanic rituals? Or banning employees from wearing shoes or something?
( Cawl, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 12:17, Reply)

In fact,
I'm getting the feeling that you're suggesting something entirely unreasonable.
"Cannibalism to replace staff canteens". No more autopsy costs. No more disposal costs.
Soup of the day is "Cream of Biopsy".
( Cawl, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 12:20, Reply)

it's to stop sending reminder letters to people to book appointments
when they've already booked or attempted to book an appointment.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 12:24, Reply)

...
Ah.
Well, I guess someone had to point it out.
( Cawl, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 12:26, Reply)

and write a database query,
but that took me about 15 mins
(PsychoChomp, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 12:28, Reply)

Sounds pretty good work.
I like my idea more though.
( Cawl, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 12:31, Reply)

Get Sea-Monkeys!

( Cawl, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 10:15, Reply)

I'm actually tempted by this idea.

( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 10:16, Reply)

They're awesome.
Actually, Triops are better, and bigger:
www.madaboutthings.com/triops-1309-p.asp
( Cawl, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 10:23, Reply)

Gnah', RAGE.
I CAN TELL IT'S www.oscommerce.com , WHERE IS THE LOGOS AT THE BOTTOM ?!?!?!?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 12:11, Reply)

sea monkeys?
There's no fun in sea monkeys!!

What you need is a gorilla
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 10:23, Reply)

Haha!
See above.
( Cawl, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 10:23, Reply)

Couldn't I just find a very hairy boyfriend?

( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 10:24, Reply)

Apparantly not...

( Cawl, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 10:27, Reply)

Hahaha!
Even the hairy ones don't want me.
( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 10:28, Reply)

I feel a little mean now.

( Cawl, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 10:30, Reply)

Aw! Don't feel mean.
I find it all hilarious......sobs!
( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 10:32, Reply)

Riiight...
:\
( Cawl, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 10:36, Reply)

nope
has to be a gorilla - a lot cleaner, and less likely to abuse you when drunk or so they say...
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 10:27, Reply)

I bought myself a lovely Earl Jeans denim jacket a couple of months ago
I had heard over the past few years that Earl jeans were the best, blah, blah, blah, consumerism, globalization, sucker for adverts, blah.

So I searched online (I needed wanted a new denim jacket as I'd thrown out all the others over the years and you can't beat a DJ for wearing with a floaty summer dress) for jackets and found a site in the US that was selling them - as Earl the company died some years back.
Two hours searching and I'd bought the item. Six weeks later it turned up. I love it.


Have you thought about looking at kittens?
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 10:32, Reply)

A good denim jacket is always worth spending money on.
I already have two cats who drive me insane. Another kitten, however cute, would push me over the edge.
( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 10:35, Reply)

How about a Child?

(MoistTickle we are legion, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 10:32, Reply)

how about
kidnapping someone and turning them into a gimp/sex slave?

It's all the rage these days!
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 10:38, Reply)

All you need is
A cellar or a back-garden.
( Cawl, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 10:39, Reply)

The only person I would consider turning into a sex slave lives too far away to make it possible.
I suppose I could window shop for the correct gimp attire should it become a viable option.


Edit - I do have a very nice cellar : )
( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 10:41, Reply)

You should keep thousands of
Rats down there, to do your bidding.
You seen the film "Willard"?
( Cawl, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 10:45, Reply)

Only if the rats can hoover and wash up.
That's the only bidding I need really.
( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 10:53, Reply)

Oh...
In that film they chew up car tyres, and people.
( Cawl, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 10:54, Reply)

Oh well.
I'll keep them in mind if I ever need anything or one chewing up.
( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 11:12, Reply)

I'm getting dictionaries!
I'm actually unbelievably excited.

My sister got a watch for passing her exams.

I'm just going to ask for the most expensive dictionaries I can find.


As for what you should get, some ridiculously impractical high shoes.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 10:42, Reply)

I would look like a transvestite : (

( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 10:44, Reply)

I look like Despair from the Sandman
I'm sure you'd look beautiful.


WANT
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 10:47, Reply)

It'd be like
Putting your foot in a gecko.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 11:18, Reply)

How about really expensive whisky?
Reading the descriptions is fun.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 11:25, Reply)

This Vodka sounds scrummy.
www.thedrinkshop.com/products/nlpdetail.php?prodid=5417&catid=0
( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 11:29, Reply)

Ooh nice
Mostly when I drink vodka I observe an initial note of vodka, followed by a strong vodka body and a subtle aftertaste of vodka.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 11:38, Reply)

Haha!
Signet is a ground-breaking innovation delivering a velvet explosion of taste.

The culmination of a lifetime's experience, signet is a fusion of unique elements, whose secrets are known only to Glenmorangie's whisky creators.

A high roasted 'chocolate' malt matured in very rare casks, it "tastes like the legendary Pegasus came in your mouth".
( Cawl, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 11:37, Reply)

It's all like that
"Just add a touch of water and citrus fruits emerge and maybe a trace of nuts. After a few moments the nuttiness gets stronger and the scent gets sweetened with vanilla and caramel."

Yes, I'm sensing more than a trace of bollocks about the whole thing.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 11:44, Reply)

of course you do
thats what the nutty taste is
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 15:12, Reply)

buy some books
I fucking love books me

BOOKS!
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 11:42, Reply)

Look no further.....
www2.printshop.co.uk/rathergood/

I have the goat T shirt and it makes me happy and bouncy when I wear it :)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 13:16, Reply)