Home Sweet Home
Today's question: What are you skiving or feel like skiving?


( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 18:35, 47 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Starting tea
there's some chicken in the fridge and my wife is on the bus on her way home and I'm like 'meh'
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 18:47, Reply)

Are you supposed to be making your wife's tea too?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 18:51, Reply)

paying my grandma the 1500 I owe her

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 18:48, Reply)

I just hope for your sake that your grandma's not a loanshark. Or for that matter, a shark.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 18:52, Reply)

she HAS got some crazy chompers
she takes them out at night

IMAGINE THAT !
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 18:56, Reply)

And what does she do about the fin?

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 19:01, Reply)

it retracts

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 19:11, Reply)

Does your grandmother suffer from embarassing untimely fin-extensions?

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 19:16, Reply)

I thought all old people did

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 19:17, Reply)

So, you think that all people who live old enough get to metamorphose into sharks? And that the shark-infested seas of the world are where all our supposedly dead ancestors end up?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 19:21, Reply)

MY GRANNY IS NOT A SHARK
*cries into her bowl of misery*
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 19:23, Reply)

* Looks at Kristine's bowl of misery *
Oh look, are those mini-sharks swimming around in it?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 19:25, Reply)

they need a loving home too :((((((((

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 19:28, Reply)

It's very charitable for you to set up a loving home for miniaturised creatures with your tears. What if there's toomany of them for the bowl?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 19:31, Reply)

I honestly thought they'd be dead by now but apparently they're feeding on my misery
and if there are too many for the bowl, I care not

the fat wankers can fuck right off
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 19:32, Reply)

You could suspend the bowl above a larger bowl
and any overflow will spill out into the bowl below, creating a nice waterfall effect. And then do the same with a third larger bowl.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 19:36, Reply)

I'd have to do that forever, it'd be like a giant jacob's ladder except it'll be Kristine's bowls and then god will smite me and I'll be speaking forrin shark or something

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 19:47, Reply)

You could of course try other ideas as well
Try cutting an edge out of some of the bowls and use a hosepipe to connect them to other bowls at the same height. You could even install a few pumps so the tears sometimes flows upwards, allowing the sharklets to swim to a higher level.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 19:49, Reply)

This is entirely too much work
I think I shall "accidentally" leave the bowl somewhere and "forget" where I was when I "lost" it
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 19:50, Reply)

Or you could sneak up to someone's house, leave a bowl full of tears and sharks, ring the bell and run away. Hopefully, they'll look after the sharks.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 19:53, Reply)

I could flush them down the toilet

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 20:00, Reply)

Perhaps navigating the sewerage system's labrynth of pipes would give them a stimulating challenge.

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 20:06, Reply)

yeah maybe
can we talk about something else now?
*absentmindedly rubs nippleths*
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 20:11, Reply)

Ah yes. The knippleteeths
That reminds me, we've still got eachothers'.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 20:17, Reply)

*rubs shared mistaspakkaman nipple*
I don't wish to return it
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 20:18, Reply)

But I'm stuck with yours.
Every time I absent-mindedly rub my nipples, it makes me super-aroused. While it can be pleasurable, this can often lead to embarrassment when done at the wrong time.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 20:28, Reply)

only for you
I show no signs of arousal, only that I scream like a baboon
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 20:30, Reply)

Remind me never to arouse you anywhere public
unless it's the zoo.

Private arousal's still OK with me.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 20:42, Reply)

I actually don't know what a baboon sounds like
you'll know when I'm aroused, I start rubbing myself all over other people, like a cat
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 20:44, Reply)

That's
one of the most disturbing things I've read on b3ta.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 20:43, Reply)

i've been skiving off almost all day...
and haven't got the tea made yet.
but i have just got back from techno with a whole bunch of bargains. and weston's organic cider.
oven is heating for pizza, gonna jazz it up with some garlic chorizo and cherry bomb chillis.
maybe that will shift the torpor?
***sighs***
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 8 Sep 2009, 19:20, Reply)

Hopefully, it will shift it.
In the meantime, I've taken another day off work, and am also skipping Tai-Chi this week.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 19:23, Reply)

i'm preparing pizza and writing a to-do list.
i shall post it here soon...
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 8 Sep 2009, 19:26, Reply)

I've been off work too.
Done sod all. Drinking lager. Not cleaning.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 19:25, Reply)

Evening Roots
If you replace drinking lager with being asleep, sounds like my day.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 19:27, Reply)

Hiya spaklad
I need some sleep but will try to wait til a more normal time.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 19:33, Reply)

evening m'dear *hugs*
i shall be finishing this glass of wine right now and moving on to the cider...
and zopiclone about 10pm
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 8 Sep 2009, 19:35, Reply)

Hey you! *squaaarsh*
I am never drinking wine again. I just told an internet lie.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 19:39, Reply)

Lies? On my Intertnets?
But who will drink the wines?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 19:47, Reply)

I will drink all the wines!
There, I told an internet truth.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 19:51, Reply)

Is that the real wines or the Internet wines?

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 20:12, Reply)

i shall drink them, and save mankind!
the first pizza is out of the oven, not as spicey as i had hoped.
2nd pizza will be ready in 4 minutes. i have taken steps to ensure the schoville threshold will be reached.
and by then i shall scarfed these 3 slices and this remaining half-pint of cider.
then wine with the spicey pizza and tv, so i'll be absent for periods.
actually this pizza IS spicey enough after all...
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 8 Sep 2009, 19:56, Reply)

Are you already drunk?
You're somewhere between Keith Floyd and Hudson & Hall
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 20:00, Reply)

not yet, dude...
had a wee smoke earlier and a glass of wine and now i'm about 2/3 through a pint of 6.5%alc.vol cider.
i'm liking the floyd ref but not sure about hudson...
i can be a bit passionate with food and it's presentation, not fancy like but getting right stuck in and having real good times cooking and eating. love food even more than sex. but not much more.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 8 Sep 2009, 20:11, Reply)

There's not much difference between food and sex.
I really got into cooking a while back. I love taking a recipe and messing with it until it's mine. However, the one bad thing about living on your own is that you get lazy about cooking.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 20:42, Reply)

it's so much easier to cook for 2, or 3, than just yersel.
getting someone else excited about food that'sbeing cooked right there and then. turning someone on with food. i wrote the book!
or at least to i used to think so.
i understand humility now.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 8 Sep 2009, 20:54, Reply)

Yeah!
If a bloke cooks for me, or even suggests food or drink that I try and subsequently love, I'm putty.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 20:57, Reply)