Home Sweet Home

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 19:29, 46 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oi! Spakkaman! Yes - you!
I've caught earache off you through the internetty and it's not funny.

You ought to be ashamed of yourself....
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 19:35, Reply)

* looks away and whistles *
Oh look, isn't the Aurora Borealis looking lovely tonight?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 19:38, Reply)

we all know you caught it by licking all over mistaspakkaman then bumping uglies

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 19:43, Reply)

Spakkaman lives
About 200 miles from me - my bionic tongue can't reach that far.

And Spakkaman - I'm not so shallow as to be distracted by your references to ethereal celestial phenomenon - I believe that my keyboard has been emitting fumes and I believe that YOU have personally responsible for channelling your unpleasant germs into MY internet.

I shall be writing to the Daily Mail about this.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 19:53, Reply)

And so, my plan to sabotage the faith of any Daily Mail reader with at least one braincell is coming to fruition.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 20:02, Reply)

Daily Mail readers
And braincells?

Pull the other one...
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 20:08, Reply)

save your breath, we saw the footage

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 20:02, Reply)

Don't believe anything you see on Fox News
Murdoch has secrectly put wires in all of our brains.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 20:18, Reply)

whats crackin

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 19:36, Reply)

My knuckles

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 19:38, Reply)

my favorite thing to do after I take off my shoes at night is crack my toes
/kristine fact #2
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 19:40, Reply)

Is that only the second fact?
What's the first? And do you take off your socks too?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 19:45, Reply)

can't tell you the first fact
and yes, the socks must go as well
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 19:47, Reply)

Have you ever tried it with your socks on?

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 20:00, Reply)

sometimes when I'm at work and I'm really stressed and I think 'phwoooaaaIneedtocrackmytoes'
I'll do it secretly behind my desk, socks on.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 20:02, Reply)

My toes
are among the few joints that I can't consciously crack. I can pick things up with them though (eg, pens, tv remotes etc when I can't be arsed to bend down) Trufact.
(berk, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 20:09, Reply)

If you're good enough to pick stuff up with them
maybe you'll no longer have the need to bend down?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 20:14, Reply)

It only really works
for things smaller than the gap between the big toe and the next toe, otherwise you can't grip. So for instance, if I were to drop a satsuma, I would still have to exert myself and bend down because I'm not that much of a gap-toed freak.
(berk, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 20:23, Reply)

But at least you can pick up small objects.
The larger ones are easier to grab when bending over and reaching.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 20:27, Reply)

If you do it loud enough, it might attract attention
Or is this your way of attracting attention and therefore your mating call?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 20:12, Reply)

no :(

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 20:13, Reply)

But it would still work if you wanted to attract a toe-cracking fetishist.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 20:16, Reply)

nope

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 20:20, Reply)

Maybe you're just unlucky enough to be the only toe-cracker in your office.
Try cracking your toes in public and see who it attracts.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 20:25, Reply)

I don't want to attract anyone.
I'm done with trying to attract people.
I'd rather be left alone in my toe-crackin' ways.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 20:33, Reply)

Oh dear
Couldn't you crack your toes as a cry for help?

Might there not be a toe cracking self help group you could join?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 20:39, Reply)

I will NEVER GIVE IT UP, YOU HEAR ME?!
*claws at toes in desperate attempt to crack what cannot be cracked*
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 20:41, Reply)

Please don't be so defensive
I'm trying to help.

Cracking your joints is a perfectly normal human action.

Who amongst us hasn't wanted to crack our toes at some point in our lives? I certainly have.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 20:47, Reply)

It's really not that bad, honest
just having a bit *sniffle* of a break down here *silent sob*
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 20:51, Reply)

OK Kristine
I feel your pain - truly I do.

Maybe you could just try this for me...crack 'em. Kristine, crack 'em for Jesus.

YEAH! Crack your toes for Jesus, lady!
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 20:58, Reply)

of all the things I've been asked to do for Jesus, cracking my toes has never been one of them

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 21:03, Reply)

Well it's about time, then.
He didn't just die on the cross for people with perfectly articulated joints, you know.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 21:07, Reply)

Let me guess
The feelings of guilt you had about breaking up your doctor's marriage, and having a spider for a bf got to you.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 20:39, Reply)

all of the above with added 'arghmenfuckoff'
But I'm going to the beach in two days so hurrah for THAT
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 20:43, Reply)

Good for you
And if you take enough whips, you can make it a man-free beach.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 21:06, Reply)

it already will be
My whips and I will be hanging out in the hotel drinking and reading while the others will be out partying and sexing up random blokes
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 21:09, Reply)

You could always whip your friend's blokes
and if they're in to that sort of thing, you'll bag yourself a bloke without all the hassle that this usually involves.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 21:39, Reply)

My longest toe
is 90% as long as my little finger. It looks disturbing.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 20:55, Reply)

my little finger is 2.5" long
I'm not sure how I'd feel about having a toe that long.
Not that it could be helped.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 20:58, Reply)

silly, Kristine, you just have a huge fucking finger is all

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 21:03, Reply)

Oh, hang on
I'll just get my slide rule.

Somehow I've never found time to measure my digits and establish a percentile correlation.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 21:04, Reply)

I had the longest little toe nail ever today.
I dont know why. Must be something I had eaten. I could hide a penny* behind it.

*maybe an exaggeration, but it was really long and flat.

edit: and maybe a thick question, but when I click I like this on off topic, where can I see all the popular clicked posts?
( @RBFesquire Good luck b3ta, was nice knowing you. So long., Wed 23 Sep 2009, 21:07, Reply)

I still don't get the point of long toenails
They wear out socks and don't go well with walking-boots.

If you want to see the most popular OT posts, try www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/all/
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 21:16, Reply)

I didnt even realise it was there. I had only recently cut them.
Because I have weird toes (the last couple all bend sideways. Hard to explain, I may take a photo) long toe nails really do my head in. This one seemed to adapt to the shape though. Spooky eh!. Perhaps my toes are evolving!!!

And thanks for the link :-)
( @RBFesquire Good luck b3ta, was nice knowing you. So long., Wed 23 Sep 2009, 21:22, Reply)

Sometimes, toenails do evolve into strange shapes
Although the thing I like about mine is that no matter how much you damage them, they always recover eventually.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 21:44, Reply)