Ask a guy to bite you and they look at you like you're wrong in the head.

( girlinthehole, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:40, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Well, you were asking a checkout guy at ASDA.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:41, Reply)

Yeah but he did ask me if I wanted help with anything.

( girlinthehole, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:44, Reply)

yeah
It's just gold when you find one who does it without asking.
Not so good when you have to spend a week in long sleeves because he broke the rules and did one on your arm...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:41, Reply)

if you want us to bite we want fingernails down the back
oooh not a rulebreaker. Doing unexpected stuff is one of the best things.
(Evilweevil is covered in bees, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:44, Reply)

Fingernails just happens anyway
Even when you're a pair of normals.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:46, Reply)

Not if you're my ex
if she was a Little Miss she'd have been Little Miss Vanilla Sex
(Evilweevil is covered in bees, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:47, Reply)

Could it not be coaxed out of her?
I was a late starter. Maybe she was too. A lot of people don't know they need the dark side.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:48, Reply)

it's most enjoyable showing them that they do
:-D
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:49, Reply)

Fuckin ell
Is everyone at it on OT??
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:50, Reply)

Currently, no.
I'm at work.
(Evilweevil is covered in bees, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:52, Reply)

You know what i meant
You bellend!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:54, Reply)

Also no
I'm single, nearly everyone I know is taken. Although am going on a datey type thing with a friend tomorrow so things are looking up.
I take it you're getting plenty of biting fun :-(
(Evilweevil is covered in bees, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:56, Reply)

Ooh, a date!
I hope she's a minx. I won't be getting any bites for weeeeeeeks. Which brings us dangerously close to Halloween and my imminent dumping.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:58, Reply)

Dumping?
Are you in a failed relationship, or pooing once a month?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 15:01, Reply)

I dunno what i'm in
but I have previously predicted 31st october as the day it is snatched away from me
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 15:01, Reply)

Awww
that's my birthday, so I'll raise a drink in your honour
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 15:03, Reply)

Ta la

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 15:03, Reply)

None for weeks?!
I take it ripping up beermats is something you do then?
Why 31st October? Does he plan to leave you for a werewolf?
(Evilweevil is covered in bees, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 15:04, Reply)

I don't rip up beermats
I go to my local tabernacle and I sing* (lie)
I dunno why. That's the date I have in my head.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 15:07, Reply)

I am
your replies turn me on
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:55, Reply)

Bert
Everything turns you on
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:59, Reply)

Not everything
Fearne Cotton turns my stomach
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 15:00, Reply)

I agree

(Evilweevil is covered in bees, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 15:02, Reply)

Acquiescence
makes me SICK
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 15:04, Reply)

Yeah, tell me about it!

(Evilweevil is covered in bees, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 15:05, Reply)

I had trouble
coaxing her out of her clothes let alone persuading her to do anything apart from missionary.
(Evilweevil is covered in bees, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:49, Reply)

She needs an older gentlman to show her the ropes
most girls are a little bit uptight, then they find some guy in his thirties and all hell breaks loose
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:51, Reply)

Not necessarily.
Sometimes it's a hot young thang that shows a gal the 'ropes'.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:52, Reply)

Sometimes
but learning from somebody with experience is always a good thing. Two young things with no experience or confidence fumbling like buffoons is just daft
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:54, Reply)

Cocky young buck with plenty of experience.
That'll do nicely.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:55, Reply)

Hi

(Evilweevil is covered in bees, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:56, Reply)

Hahah
Feck awf!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:59, Reply)

Actually
there is a lot to be said for youthful stamina and energy. My libido has died down massively in the last year. I'm almost normal now
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:58, Reply)

I'm hoping mine remains strong long enough
to enjoy the boost that women apparently get in their 30s
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 15:03, Reply)

I was enjoying that
in my early twenties. It's all downhill from here for me, I'm down from 20 wanks a night to barely 5
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 15:04, Reply)

good god
are you not fit to burst?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 15:06, Reply)

It really kicks off in the forties.
*sigh*
( girlinthehole, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 15:07, Reply)

bit of a cruel twist really
lamentably, from going from one long term relationship immediately into another I missed my opportunity to screw around, including missing out on older women

*sadface*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 15:08, Reply)

Don't fret on it.
You have a long and happy relationship with the Mrs and leave all the sexual shenanigans to us emotional cripples.
( girlinthehole, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 15:14, Reply)

I try not to
there are a few things I haven't done, like having a one night stand, but I can't imagine I'd enjoy that anyway particularly, and the other few things I haven't done I'm sure I will get to, so it doesn't bother me.

fortunately mrs V is really rather good in bed, and open to persuasion
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 15:16, Reply)

Does it?
I need to lock myself up before that.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 15:09, Reply)

and I need to hang around to see what happens

(Evilweevil is covered in bees, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 15:10, Reply)

Like the pest you are

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 15:15, Reply)

it's not being a pest
if you want it
(Evilweevil is covered in bees, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 15:20, Reply)

I'm a long way off 40
Halloween's merely weeks away though.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 15:25, Reply)

you sound quite fond of him
does he know all this?
(Evilweevil is covered in bees, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 15:42, Reply)

Shh.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 15:46, Reply)

I hope she's happy
Wherever she is.
I imagine she's ripping up beermats somewhere.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:51, Reply)

Or playing with her
my little ponies.
There's a reason why she's an ex.
(Evilweevil is covered in bees, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:52, Reply)

RIGHT
now it's all gentle caresses, soft kisses and slow love.
Fuck. Right. Off.
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:42, Reply)

Sometimes that's ace
But all the time. Gawd. I don't know how I'd survive.
Back to headbutting the walls with BGB I think...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:43, Reply)

It is good sometimes.
But right now, I'd just like to get dirty.
Fuck the lovely stuff.
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:50, Reply)

I blame the American film industry.
Women don't get smacked about on film like they used to.
( girlinthehole, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:43, Reply)

SHUT IT, YOU SLAG
*slap*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:44, Reply)

That's not true
I love bitey sex, but I prefer to receive than to give as I'm worried about hurting the poor, delicate little thing
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:43, Reply)

^this
also, I can bite my missus the same way, in the same place on two different occasions and have completely different reactions, and there is no way of knowing what the reaction will be in advance.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:49, Reply)

This^
is relevant to most things when talking about women.

"but you liked it yesterday"

"RAAAAGGGHH AKAKAKAKA!"

"AiiiiEEEEEE"
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:50, Reply)

too true

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:52, Reply)

They're a bunch of sexy mentalists
and if it wasn't for their self-lubricating orifices, I'd be a hermit
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:53, Reply)

You're not doing it hard enough

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:51, Reply)

when the reaction is sometimes
"AAAAAAAAAARGGGH" then I think I am doing it hard enough
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:51, Reply)

"AAAAAARGH"
often becomes "mmmm" if you persist.
*may result in her dunping you. I take no responsibility.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:53, Reply)

pretty sure that wouldn't be the case

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:57, Reply)

then you slap her for good measure, right?
let her know whos boss?

this is only acceptable in the bedroom, btw.
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:53, Reply)

Christ
no wonder I got thrown out of Yates's
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:55, Reply)

Actually I think it's acceptable anywhere
kitchen, bathroom, stairs, front yard

phwooar
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:56, Reply)

I hope all of those locations are euphemisms
for parts of your body
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:57, Reply)

She didn't mention
vegetable patch
(Evilweevil is covered in bees, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:58, Reply)

Is that what she calls the special place she lets the Sunshine Club take turns with?

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:59, Reply)

sometimes
other times it's the 'secret bunker'
(Evilweevil is covered in bees, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 15:01, Reply)

we'll have less naming of my orifices now, ta

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 15:10, Reply)

shut your cakehole

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 15:16, Reply)

terrible ♥♥♥^{♥♥♥_♥♥}
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 15:32, Reply)

you love it

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 15:37, Reply)