Do you ever use b3ta memes in the real world with people who have no idea what you are on about?
Last night my wife spent 2 hours looking a Honda Accords on Ebay. She is looking to replace her 206 gti and I told her "Get a Honda Accord! They're the international car of justice!" She thought I was serious.

Alternatively I'm going to have chicken and chips when I get home from work. What will you be having for your evening meal?
( Peej, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 10:08, 40 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Nothing.
But I had a Bernard Matthews turkey escalope for breakfast.
It was grim, so I'm going to have smoke & coffee now to take the taste away.
( thealternativefact, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 10:15, Reply)

why did you do that?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 10:19, Reply)

I was a bit drunk when I went to Sainsbury's last night
and Wookiee forced me to buy them because it was bogof. I am now overrun with the fucking things.
It's all his fault.
( thealternativefact, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 10:21, Reply)

kick his arse
actually, make a contraption out of escalopes that can be fit into the chuck of an electric drill so that it turns into a rotary escalope slapping machine.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 10:26, Reply)

No need.
He hurled his entire self onto a nightclub floor at the weekend and has now ended up with a crippled elbow, causing him to flail his arm around in a Beadle/TRex offspring kind of way. I think that's enough pain for now.
( thealternativefact, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 10:29, Reply)

but you didn't have any role in that
or did you?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 10:35, Reply)

I was many counties away.
Even I'm not that influential.
( thealternativefact, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 10:37, Reply)

you disappoint me
:-(
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 10:40, Reply)

I disappoint myself :(
I wish I had more power, but at least Wookiee is capable of destroying himself even when I'm not around.
( thealternativefact, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 10:47, Reply)

that is reassuring

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 10:58, Reply)

I keep having to stop myself from telling non-B3tans to man the fuck up.
Pizza and red wine for tea.
( girlinthehole, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 10:19, Reply)

I taught Dad MTFU on that Saturday we were with you.
Half an hour later his gf said she was a bit tired, to which Dad blared, 'Man the fuck up!'
Yes, he was told off.
( thealternativefact, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 10:26, Reply)

My sisters keep telling me
that they can't "man the fuck up" as they're girls.
(Evilweevil is covered in bees, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 10:41, Reply)

they can't with that attitude
no drive, no will to succeed. you should chastise them. with a broom.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 10:43, Reply)

I wish I liked wine, but I just don't.
I don't see the appeal of any drink that you can't gulp down, I love gulping down drinks.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 10:45, Reply)

You can gulp down wine!!
Wine is my gulpy friend sometimes.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 10:50, Reply)

Try a bottle of really good wine
It's awesome. Plus a wine gut grows much more slowly than a beer gut.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 10:50, Reply)

bangers and mash
and pointed cabbage

and gravy. lots and lots of gravy.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 10:20, Reply)

i love the idea
of getting some drinks in, thusly...

"hi, i'll have 2 coffees, a tea and a half pint of gravy please"

mmmmm, i suppose it is just like a thick bovril. Lately i have been having gravy with everything. Last night...fish, chips, peas, gravy and a couple of cheeky yorkshire poodins....fusion food that is, fusion ah tell ye.

Fusing a heart attack with a stroke that is.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 11:10, Reply)

I always use MTFU.
And my poor friend didn't seem to mind at all when I kept telling him to "Fire up the Honda Accord!" He just thought I was complimenting him on his amazing new car. And looked puzzled when I did it too often.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 10:28, Reply)

Occasionally
Although badgerbadgerbadger.com has become a part of my IT testing kit to check if Flash is properly installed on a machine. Always gives the users a smile.

Dinner? Chicken in white whine sauce with penne pasta I think.

Made from scratch, naturally.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 30 Sep 2009, 10:50, Reply)

you're making a chicken from scratch?
and the pasta?

ambitious
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 10:59, Reply)

I heard some freshers talking about food the other day
"Last night I made pasta from SCRATCH!"
I said "What, with a food processor and flour and eggs?"
He said "No, I bought some pasta and one of those sauces."
God help us all.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 11:02, Reply)

hahahahaha
fucking idiots
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 11:07, Reply)

For me that counts as proper cooking
Even I wouldn't go so far as to say "from scratch" though.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 11:08, Reply)

I'm dreading the Freshers' arrival
They're arriving next week. And they're all going to be twats.

I am but a lowly PhD student, but I'm trying to work out the point at which I started to have it in for undergraduates. Current thinking suggests I was still an undergraduate myself at the time...
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 11:23, Reply)

My freshers are here now
I have a steady stream of them coming through my office.
( Peej, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 11:33, Reply)

I think it's because I know
they'll be one long swathe of public school gits and punchabletrendy indie-kid types. Both of whom have their own special ways of getting my back up by assuming that since they've farted their way this far through life they deserve some kind of fucking medal. Come on in, children, hopefully within 6 months you will, like I did, taste the lukewarm ashes of your dreams and aspirations.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 11:40, Reply)

Where you at, then?
I love it here. Not even started lectures yet :D
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 20:42, Reply)

Ours arrived last week
They look a lot older than last year's batch.
Ahem.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 11:33, Reply)

Im beginning to think I'm getting to old to work here
All these hot young ladies walking about the place all with 1990-1991 birthdates.

*insert quote from dazed and confused here*
( Peej, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 11:41, Reply)

Well I felt like that last year.
I thought, "No more pesting the freshers."
But this year I feel it's ok to at least look. They all look around 20. The boys that is.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 11:44, Reply)

Ours arrive today.
Most of them are older than me.
( thealternativefact, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 11:44, Reply)

Some of my tutees are older than my boyfriend
and they aren't mature students.
:(
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 13:43, Reply)

Cougartron
Activate
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 13:46, Reply)

Well not literally from scratch.
The sauce is always made from scratch though.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 30 Sep 2009, 11:27, Reply)

What, the 'whine' sauce?
I don't think I want to eat anything you've scratched.
( thealternativefact, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 11:43, Reply)

My cooking is top-notch I will have you know.
My only real cheat is tinned tomatoes.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 30 Sep 2009, 12:58, Reply)

You don't need a food processor,
just mix it with your hands,
(PsychoChomp, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 12:01, Reply)

Oh I meant the other food processors
That are like a mangle for pasta
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 12:03, Reply)