Watching Live at the Apollo the other night
and Michael McIntyre was suggested that upper (or middle I don't remember which) people can take any word and use it mean they are drunk e.g.

"I'm absolutely gazeboed"

this has led to me pondering what the best one of these I've heard is.

I think my favourite one is when a uni mate turned to me and said "Mate, I'm fucking Mumra'd"

any gems?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:02, 59 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Its not the same but
American Students here take while to get used to people saying pissed to mean drunk and think everyone is angry. They also don't have a clue about wankered.
( Peej, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:05, Reply)

I once told my American mate I was knackered
and he said 'you're nekkid? Whoa, too much information dude' which I found hilarious.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:11, Reply)

there is a lot of scope for confusing them there
can't imagine that they would understand if you told them you were 3 sheets to the wind either
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:26, Reply)

or asked
if you could bum a fag off them
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:36, Reply)

Americans just say "fucked up" instead.

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 20:24, Reply)

"I'm absolutely flumdahed" was a favourite (mainly because making up words is fun)
One of my mates always used to say he "felt like a postage stamp" when he was drunk - I still have no idea what he meant!?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:10, Reply)

He had a sticky backside?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:11, Reply)

Maybe? Who knows?

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:13, Reply)

hehe

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:16, Reply)

I *think* he means his tounge feels like he's just licked the back of a postage stamp, the morning after.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:42, Reply)

Hmmm
It could have meant that... he was a very random man.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:44, Reply)

I like 'trousered'.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:19, Reply)

that is a good one

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:22, Reply)

Or spakkered

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 8 Oct 2009, 17:15, Reply)

Pillocked
is always a favourite of mine.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:25, Reply)

I still like ruined.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:27, Reply)

Plastered
Is simple but effective.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:30, Reply)

bladdered is another of my favourites
as is arseholed
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:31, Reply)

Spangled
And in the morning when you have a hangover, you can say you've been to Spangladesh and back.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:32, Reply)

Hangovers should be identified as the result of a visit from the ming-fairy.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:43, Reply)

or feeling like a pig has shat in your head

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:44, Reply)

I'd like to suggest
"Sousaphoned" _{partly because 'trumpeted' is already a word and 'tromboned' just sounds deeply wrong...}
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:35, Reply)

'caned'
is a personal favourite
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:37, Reply)

That's my usual Friday experience
I expect to be getting rather caned tomorrow
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:39, Reply)

Are you Max Moseley?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:42, Reply)

Nope but I do like a whipping every now and again
Mmmmm, whips........
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:59, Reply)

Caned > whipped
Fact
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 17:27, Reply)

caned is how I usually refer to being stoned

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:41, Reply)

Only pesudo-interlectucals on their first night getting drunk since they were 5 and dad gave them a drop of port say "Intoxicated" or "Inebriated".
You wouldn't even catch the head of, ermmm, err, some really prestigous instititution say that.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:41, Reply)

reminds me of a Vic and Bob thing
about going to a party

*singing*
Bob: I went in costume
Vic: and I went inebriated
B: I was Cleopatra
V: and I was clearly pissed
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:43, Reply)

Is that a Viz thing? I've never read them before.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:52, Reply)

I think it was on shooting stars
many years ago
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:56, Reply)

Walloped!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:43, Reply)

I can never remember the best ones
as i am usually too lasered to remember

or the non-pc, "i'm completely niggered"
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:44, Reply)

Spackered

(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:48, Reply)

I remember watching that show
and thinking... he's just stolen what me and my mates have done for the past hundred years. So wasn't too impressed. Anyway my favourite phrase of that ilk is...

I am STEAM. BOATS.

By my all-time favourite term is being "shit-faced".
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:50, Reply)

What about Fandangoed?

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:51, Reply)

A fandango is the same as a ding-dong

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:52, Reply)

Is it really?
Do tell me more?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:55, Reply)

Well, they're similar
I suppose sometimes one is more apt than the other.
I suppose a ding-dong is slightly more illicit than a fandango. You can be flagrant with a fandango.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:57, Reply)

I see.
*backs away*
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:59, Reply)

That's right, Nem, back off!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 17:00, Reply)

*comes back with a tranquilizer gun*
*ahem*
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 8 Oct 2009, 17:09, Reply)

Oh hai!
Would you like a cuppa *plumps cushions and gets out the pouffet*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 17:12, Reply)

I stole my favourite from Queenie.
'squiffy'
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:56, Reply)

pah
pah I say, squiffy is for girly-girls. Men get bazooka'd
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 17:00, Reply)

Only if they're spineless.
A real man gets Bismark'd.
( Cawl, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 17:04, Reply)

now that is a good term for it
*shakes hand*


"I have to say my dear, I am completely Baron Manfred von Richthofen'd!"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 17:08, Reply)

Squiffy
on a small amount was an EP by the Bus Station Loonies.

They did a wonderful cover of 'Rupert the Bear'

Pointless, but true!
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 17:02, Reply)

It doesn't
specifically refer to drunk, but I do like 'off your tits' or 'off your chops'. Mumra'd is a good one - perhaps it refers to the noise he made when all his bandages flew off, that you also make when you're throwing up the morning after?
(berk, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:56, Reply)

could be right
has reminded me of something else quality from scrubs.
Bob Kelso is ill and throwing up, he explains that as he vomits he likes to say the names of classic books such as the grapes of wraaaaaaaaath

next time I vomit, I'm doing it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:59, Reply)

Twatted
Quite common round these parts.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 17:00, Reply)

Cunted is fairly common round 'ere

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 17:01, Reply)

Or cuntlashed
That's a good one too.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 8 Oct 2009, 17:17, Reply)

Leathered
But that can also mean dirty.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 17:02, Reply)

Time for a full rinse
Mirroculous may be my all time favourite.

It isn't on this list, and neither is Banjo-ed, but here it is anyway.



Badgered, Banjaxed, Battered, Befuggered, Bernard Langered, Bladdered, Blasted, Blathered, Bleezin, Blitzed, Blootered, Blottoed, Bluttered, Boogaloo, Brahms & Liszt, Buckled, Burlin

Cabbaged, Chevy Chased, Clobbered

Decimated, Dot Cottoned, Druck-steaming, Drunk as a Lord, Drunk as a skunk

Etched

Fecked, Fleemered (Germany), Four to the floor

Gatted, Goosed, Got my beer goggles on, Guttered (Inverness)

Had a couple of shickers, Hammer-blowed, Hammered, Hanging, Having the whirlygigs, Howling

Inebriated, Intoxicated

Jahalered, Jaiked up (West of Scotland), Jan'd - abbrev for Jan Hammered, Jaxied, Jeremied, Jolly

Kaned

Lagged up, Lamped, Langered (Ireland) [also langers, langerated], Laroped, or alt. larrupt, Lashed, Leathered, Legless, Liquored up (South Carolina), Locked, Locked out of your mind (Ireland), Loo la

Mad wey it, Mandoo-ed, Mangled, Manky, Mashed, Meff'd, Merl Haggard, Merry, Minced, Ming-ho, Minging, Moired, Monged, Monkey-full, Mottled, Mullered

Newcastled, Nicely irrigated with horizontal lubricant

Off me pickle, Off me trolley, On a campaign, Out of it, Out yer tree

Paggered, Palintoshed, Paraletic, Peelywally, Peevied, Pickled, Pie-eyed, Pished, Plastered, Poleaxed, Pollatic

Rat-legged (Stockport), Ratted, Ravaged, Razzled, Reek-ho, Rendered, Rosy glow, Rubbered, Ruined

Saying hello to Mr Armitage, Scattered, Schindlers, Screwed, Scuttered (Dublin), Shedded [as in " My shed has collapsed taking most of the fence with it"], Slaughtered, Sloshed, Smashed, Snatered (Ireland), Snobbled (Wales), Sozzled, Spangled, Spannered, Spiffed, Spongelled, Squiffy, Steamin, Steampigged, Stocious, Stonkin

Tanked, Tashered, Tipsy, Trashed, Trollied, Troubled, Trousered, Twisted

Warped, Wasted, Wellied, With the fairies, Wrecked

Zombied
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 17:13, Reply)

Spackered, wankered
or clunged.
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 17:20, Reply)

Rat-arsed.

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Thu 8 Oct 2009, 18:25, Reply)

rat-arsed + shit-faced = arse-faced

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 20:16, Reply)