What happened to the completely made up and obviously lies thread
about the girl (who was obviously just a fat internet man), who woke up next to her boyfriend after having listened to him taking it up the sphincter all night?

Which one of you inconsiderate bastards upset the poor little lady/lying bastard bloke?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 10:55, 58 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I tried my best
and chickenlady chastised me.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 10:57, Reply)

Try harder
chickenlady gets moist for bastards, this is why PJM suffers from extreme penile malfunction, he's too nice for her
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 11:01, Reply)

Probably me.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 10:57, Reply)

You weren't even there, man
they were coming out of the trees, bumming her made-up boyfriend
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 10:59, Reply)

*real

(i should have joined myspace, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 11:55, Reply)

You mean the one which is still on the main OT page?
That one down there?

Now be nice you bunch of cunts.
(Shippy likes linebreaks and doesn't care what you think, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 10:59, Reply)

Where is it?
I can't see it

EDIt oh, there it is
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 11:00, Reply)

So you want a bunch of self confessed cunts
to be nice to someone who told the internet that they woke up to find their boyfriend being bummed on the floor beside them?

Can you see what's wrong with your request?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 11:06, Reply)

We're not all cunts, al
even you were nice to the little lady/big hairy bloke wanking over the idea of his imaginary boyfriend taking it up the shitter and us all getting het-up by it
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 11:08, Reply)

I realise that
but simply by posting the request that we should all be nice make me want to post the harshest things I can think of in response.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 11:12, Reply)

Reverse Psychology, eh?
Be a cunt al, be the funniest, nastiest cunt who ever existed. Go on, al, do it
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 11:14, Reply)

Berthlomew
you, yes you, you smell faintly of chips. It's like you haven't changed your jumper since you went for a takeaway last night.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 11:17, Reply)

It worked!
You're still an unfunny, fluffy little twat!

Hooray for psychology!

I had cow pie last night, it was nice
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 11:18, Reply)

I'll be glad when this qotw is finished and I can go back to trying to forget about sex.
: (
( girlinthehole, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 11:05, Reply)

You'll still have me here, reminding you all the time of all the good stuff you're missing

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 11:07, Reply)

You wouldn't would you?

( girlinthehole, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 11:08, Reply)

I would

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 11:09, Reply)

*sad face*

( girlinthehole, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 11:11, Reply)

No BGB
I meant I would
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 11:12, Reply)

*winks*

(Bazongaloid, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 11:12, Reply)

*waggles eyebrows*
*thrusts*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 11:13, Reply)

Oh! I see.
Would is no good. I need can, but thanks anyway.
( girlinthehole, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 11:13, Reply)

If I've got would, then I can

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 11:14, Reply)

Badum TISH!

(Bazongaloid, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 11:18, Reply)

Is it only us here?
Fancy getting sexy?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 11:19, Reply)

I would
but you upset me with your post up there ^^^^
(Bazongaloid, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 11:22, Reply)

Will this make up for it?

I imagine she's singing I WANT TO LISTEN TO AL BEING BUMMED ALL NIGHT
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 11:23, Reply)

I'd want her to bum me all night
while my mrs watches.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 11:31, Reply)

Now I'm hornier than her helmet
Cor... helmet
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 11:36, Reply)

Like the grunting
and the sweating and the thrusting and the spurting
(Bazongaloid, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 11:08, Reply)

You can't see me
but that's what I'm doing all the time, every time I'm here
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 11:09, Reply)

STILL HERE
We're not together anymore.. Shocked? No.

Edit: and Im a lovely lady with boobies and such.
(i should have joined myspace, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 11:41, Reply)

Prove it

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 11:43, Reply)

How?

(i should have joined myspace, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 11:43, Reply)

Get you vadge out, live ONLINE

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 11:55, Reply)

ok
Whats the worst that could happen?
(i should have joined myspace, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 11:57, Reply)

You'll get a thousand pandering gazzes from al

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 12:03, Reply)

No then.
you'll just have to take my word for it.
(i should have joined myspace, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 12:06, Reply)

take my word for it

have a rummage in my pants at a bash
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 12:10, Reply)

Or use the visual aspect of breasts?..
To avoid any misunderstanding/charges of assault
(i should have joined myspace, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 12:17, Reply)

Breasts?
That's no good, al and Kaol have both got those, and last time I checked they ain't ladies
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 12:17, Reply)

But I am a slender lady type
Without stubble and any other man paraphernalia
(i should have joined myspace, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 12:20, Reply)

I'll still have to check
It's Monkeysex customs and excise
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 12:22, Reply)

Is that what you told all the other ladies?
Because Im pretty sure that borders on illegal
(i should have joined myspace, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 12:24, Reply)

All the b3ta women have done it, it's the LAW
Besides, you're single now, you ought to be grateful
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 12:24, Reply)

Oh well if its custom I see no problem what so ever
I look forward to our encounter
(i should have joined myspace, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 12:28, Reply)

I promise I won't let anyone bum me afterwards*



*unless it's al
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 12:32, Reply)

Great
Ill watch.
(i should have joined myspace, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 12:36, Reply)

watch listen, cry and dump you in the morning after posting about it on the internet
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 13:38, Reply)

Jokes you
I left him. Can safely say I won this round.
(i should have joined myspace, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 14:56, Reply)

Awww... sweetie
at the game of life, we're all losers
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 15:44, Reply)

'ang on a tick
You posted this, right:
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post459145 ?

So how much of a shock actually was it given that he has form?

All quite the drama really, eh? (And coming from me, that's saying something.)
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 12:15, Reply)

I don't think it was as much of a shock
as it was a relationship-ending melodrama.

Kids, eh?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 12:17, Reply)

that happened as well!!
not for long though...

Drama? More of a shambles really.
(i should have joined myspace, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 12:19, Reply)

Watch out for teh Bad Aids.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 12:20, Reply)

Yeah, fucking Bob Geldof, what a cunt...
...oh, BAD AIDs,
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 12:20, Reply)

good point.

(i should have joined myspace, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 12:22, Reply)

That's what HE said

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 14:41, Reply)