I'm awfully frustrated
with the cold virus running around inside me, making my nose tickle so constantly and distractingly and sending my snot production gland into overdrive. I'm trying to get someone to cover the second half of my day so I can go home and die quietly in front of Loose Women.

When was the last time you skipped work and why? Also, recommendations for getting rid of this fucking cold quick-sharpish.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 9:18, 38 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The only time I ever skip work
is when the Mrs is in town, and we spend all of our time exchanging body fluids, until my pubic hair is nothing but a matted, smelly mess.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 9:26, Reply)

claggered with shit and lube?

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 9:27, Reply)

and spanish mustard

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 9:28, Reply)

Vicks first defense nasal spray.
Felt a cold coming on Wednesday so tried it and it works. Burns your nose like fuck though. The cold didn't take hold and I can go to the Manchester bash tonight. Woo!

And I have half a day off. Yay!
( girlinthehole, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 9:27, Reply)

I wonder if it'd work now?
I've had this for three days now and I'm generally a patient man, but I'm currently considering cutting off my nose to spite my flu.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 9:33, Reply)

Oh! I think it only works at the begginning of a cold.
I can usually tell when a cold is just about to start.
( girlinthehole, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 9:35, Reply)

it does work a bit even later in a cold
certainly helps alleviate symptoms for me. and yes, it does sting to use it!

it's basically flushing the cold out of your nose
( ascorbate, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 11:43, Reply)

Lemsip Max Strength
The shit is magic, has made it possible for me to work, as before that I had such a thick head I couldn't even think straight.

And last time I 'skipped' work was the end of september, when I was so ill I couldn't concentrate. (translation: I was so hungover I couldn't see. Tequila on a school night is a bad bad thing)
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 9:39, Reply)

You know what else works?
Looking after yourself, not getting ill in the first place, and not being a girl
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 9:43, Reply)

Shame
You're pretty good at being a girl, with all the sulking and whinging.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 9:49, Reply)

And the pigtails
And the lipstick
And the miniskirt
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 9:53, Reply)

*wink*

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 9:55, Reply)

*wank*

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 9:57, Reply)

Aaargh, not in my eye!
*permanently winks*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 10:03, Reply)

Ha!
I got TOLD!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 9:54, Reply)

I don't skip work for hangovers any more
I go in and do an appalling job and then leave at 3.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 9:45, Reply)

I didn't like the fact either.
I've worked through hundreds of hangovers before, but this time I honestly couldn't see straight, could barely walk, and needed to throw up every 10 minutes.

There was no point in me being there at all.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 9:48, Reply)

Ahha
This is my first day off in absolute months. I am sitting by the heater, drinking coffee, listening to Jimmy Cliff - The Harder They Come (soundtrack) and generally all is well in the world.

Also have Monday off so really a mighty weekend of pigging out, Football Manager, watching T.V... Good old fashioned ME TIME
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 9:44, Reply)

Smart.
I wanna sleep all afternoon. I've got a friend coming over for a night of toad in the hole, red onion gravy, beers, playstation and slagging off women so I want to be on top form by 7pm.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 9:50, Reply)

Shouldn't that be slagging off A WOMAN?

( girlinthehole, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 10:02, Reply)

You're all the same
meatbags, fuckholes etc
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 10:03, Reply)

I'm different and special.
I'm one of a kind.

*prouds*
( girlinthehole, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 10:06, Reply)

Of course you are
that's why I'm so determined to get into your granny pants
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 10:07, Reply)

You seem to be the only one : (

( girlinthehole, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 10:09, Reply)

Then why aren't I in them now?

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 10:14, Reply)

I'll post you a pair this lunchtime.

( girlinthehole, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 10:19, Reply)

Woo!
Remember to send them special delivery, and I'll answer the door with my bollocks hanging out
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 10:21, Reply)

Crotch cosies

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 10:07, Reply)

Well, there's at least two that will be the target of our vilification this evening
so I'm technically right. And that's the best kind of right.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 10:10, Reply)

Ok then, well have fun : )

( girlinthehole, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 10:12, Reply)

Cheers m'dears.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 10:12, Reply)

Sounds ace
Although beer & manflu sounds like a deadly combination
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 11:00, Reply)

Great film
Great soundtrack.

Ever seen Rockers?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 10:02, Reply)

I have not
*imdb's* *adds to Lovefilm list*

Ah the joys of the modern age. Monty you have no place here ;)
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 10:59, Reply)

So very true.
I am a man out of time.


EDIT - this you will love perhaps even more:

www.imdb.com/title/tt0080406/
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 11:19, Reply)

A bastard hot curry
followed by brandy or whisky to alleviate the aches and pains - then a fucking hot bath and loads of sleep.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 10:01, Reply)

Beecham's powders dissolved into hot lemonade.
Don't go to bed, get on the couch instead.
Go to sleep.
Wake up and eat spicy food.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 10:19, Reply)

I didn't go to college a couple of days last week because I was so depressed I couldn't get out of bed.
It was really fun!
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 12:22, Reply)