What would you like to know?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 13:33, 111 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Can I catch a moonbeam in a jar?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 13:35, Reply)

Ejaculate bodily fluids
in to the jar first to attract the moonbeam - works for me everytime
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:31, Reply)

Where?
And how?

_{This is me being philosophical. Be impressed.}
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 13:38, Reply)

I've given up wanking too.
Why did you stop?
( girlinthehole, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 13:41, Reply)

I bet you were like wanking
with headphones on and your eyes closed, then when you opened them you found your mum frottaging herself in the corner having drunk your tea.

Am I close?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 13:43, Reply)

I don't live with my mum.
I'm an adult.
( girlinthehole, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 13:44, Reply)

I met a pretty girl
finally!
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 13:57, Reply)

Hooray for pretty girls.
They make this rocking world go round.
( girlinthehole, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:03, Reply)

Isn't that fat bottomed girls?
I'm not saying there's no cross-over, mind.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:15, Reply)

If three men can dig a trench
5 metres long, 1 metre deep and 0.5 metre wide in a day, and Garfield Sobers hit 6 sixes in an over in 1968, then why is the E1 to Ealing Broadway always late?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 13:42, Reply)

LOL!
I'M CRAZY MAD WACKY ME!
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 13:43, Reply)

Are you really, Al?
I hadn't noticed.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 13:44, Reply)

I thought of an awesome science question to ask you the other day
but I can't remember it, I'll let you know if I recall what it was.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 13:47, Reply)

I'd probably not be able to answer it
if it was that awesome!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 13:48, Reply)

Scared you won't be able to dumb down far enough?

( thealternativefact, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 13:51, Reply)

No
Just worried about my knowledge!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 13:52, Reply)

I don't think you need to.
It's only us, after all.
( thealternativefact, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 13:56, Reply)

Hello!
We were totally discussing your heaving bosoms in the thread below this one.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 13:53, Reply)

Oh dear, not again...
Edit: I responded.
( thealternativefact, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 13:55, Reply)

All the Es are late, but not as late as the 65

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 13:44, Reply)

How I can save £500 next month.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 13:46, Reply)

Spend less on Gats and bitches.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 13:47, Reply)

What's a gat?
*is old*
( girlinthehole, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 13:48, Reply)

it's a chikuh bang bang bang bang

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 13:50, Reply)

HEY SHAAWWWWWWWWTEEEEEEEEEEEEE

(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 13:51, Reply)

OH SHIT NIGGUH YOU GOTS DAT SHIT STUCK IN MY HEAD NAAAAAHHHMEAN?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJ7k0XZqdaU
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 13:53, Reply)

doesn't work in the UK

(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:06, Reply)

arses

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:12, Reply)

What's the name of the song, I'm sure I can find it somewhere

(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:15, Reply)

"Shawty" by Plies

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:16, Reply)

Wow
I love hip hop even more than I used to now.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:19, Reply)

haha what evs homes

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:23, Reply)

I learnt the word "gat" from a book written in the 50s.
You must be fuckin' ancient.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 13:53, Reply)

Bizarrely, it's an abbreviation of the Gatling Gun
as seen in Carry on up the Khyber
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 13:58, Reply)

Gatling is a brand name
so it's not that surprising
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:04, Reply)

a kind of ghetto version of Hoover

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:06, Reply)

If I don't got my gat, how I gonna make doze bitches earn?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 13:51, Reply)

Slap them upside the head
bitches gotta know who's in control here.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 13:52, Reply)

less on blunts and 40s as well

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 13:51, Reply)

WHY?
Don't they have toilet roll at men's urinals so they can wipe the piss off their cock, all that shaking and piss-flicking isn't very hygienic. Undergarments would be kept stain free and the odour of stale piss wouldn't put off the lucky laydeez.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 13:57, Reply)

Haha
Pisspants cancer joy, IT'S NOT HIS FAULT
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 13:59, Reply)

Anymore than 5 back and forths is a wank
You perv
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 13:59, Reply)

*cracks up*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:00, Reply)

hey, a micropenis has it advantages
but i can't think of any just now
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:02, Reply)

More pant room
for storing jelly babies
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:03, Reply)

More pant room

for storing jelly babies
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:04, Reply)

I was expecting that
babies NakedApes
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:05, Reply)

just learnt strikethroughs

may be a little trigger happy
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:08, Reply)

Yay!
Now do BOLD and ENRAGED and timid and ^wa_ck^y
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:13, Reply)

HOW DO YOU DO WACKY!?

I've wanted to visually represent my kooky personality for months
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:17, Reply)

if you want to check any formatting,
edit one of your own posts and then change the number in the address bar to the post who's formatting you want to copy.

edit: www.b3ta.com/questions/edit.php?id=570192
(PsychoChomp, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:31, Reply)

THANKS CHOMP YOU'RE A GREAT GUY!

(PsychoChomp, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:38, Reply)

This^^

Was off working
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:45, Reply)

Wow, you are really oversensitive

(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:49, Reply)

And a liar

( thealternativefact, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:49, Reply)

and a facist

(PsychoChomp, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:54, Reply)

*jumps in*
and a cunt
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:55, Reply)

i can gobble-rape goldfish
which isn't too shabby
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:06, Reply)

I agree
I think the cliche is "no matter how much you shake it, some always dribbles down your leg"
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:17, Reply)

Nae matter how ye shake yer peg
The last wee drop runs doon yer leg.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 15:04, Reply)

should I get drunk tonight?
I've been having trouble sleeping and I'd rather have a healthy good night of sleep instead of a drunken pass out but it's just not happening, four nights in a row now.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:04, Reply)

Explore the reasons why your not sleeping well.
And alcohol will not give you quality sleep.
( girlinthehole, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:05, Reply)

Shock serious answer!

Excercise, excercise and excercise will help you sleep more than almost anything.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:08, Reply)

I find that smoking pot works pretty well

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:10, Reply)

really?
it keep me awake to all hours...even if i have a toke early on, say about 7pm, i will still be oscillating well past 2am.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:11, Reply)

How do you titillate an Ocelot?

You oscillate it's tit alot!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:13, Reply)

then you are doing it wrong

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:13, Reply)

This has always been the case for me
even the shitey soapbar had this effect, but todays super potent strains really do keep me wired to all hours.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:15, Reply)

I thought about taking a walk yesterday but didn't, I guess that will be on the agenda for this evening.

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:14, Reply)

^This

( girlinthehole, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:15, Reply)

I know it won't...that would be why I said I'd rather have a healthy good night of sleep instead of a drunken pass out.
I'm not sleeping because I've moved and it's a new environment.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:12, Reply)

Stay up until you pass out
It'll only happen a couple of times before you settle in. You might have a couple of tired days - but that should in itself aid your sleep at night.

/hasn't really got a clue
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:33, Reply)

yeah, that's bad advice.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:47, Reply)

I'll get drunk for the both of us,
you can have the night off.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:24, Reply)

a serious response
The 4 pillars of a good night sleep, like 4 gigantic erect penises propping up a sleeping baby is as follows:

Mind - do something through the day that exercises your mind. Work for example. Do not do something crazy mental intense before bed like watching an action film or playing Call of Duty MW2.
Body - (regularly) Do at least 30 minutes of physical activity during the day. A nice walk, jog, gym, sport you get my drift.
Chemistry - Avoid alcohol and caffeine like the plague. Make sure you're well watered as dehydration can prevent sleep. Also don't binge eat harsh fatty or spicy foods before bed.
Time - The human is a creature of habit. Make sure you get up early every morning, do not do not do not sleep in unless you have control over your sleeping patterns. Go to bed at sensible times every night, 1030pm to 1130pm depending on your schedule. Make a regular 1100pm sleep, 7am up a part of your existence. That is 8 hours baby.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 15:07, Reply)

Who shall I kidnap out of Richard Dawkins, Derren Brown or David Baddiel when I see them in that London tonight?

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:49, Reply)

Derren Brown
David Baddiels an unfunny twat, Rob Newman was definitely the talent in that duo. Dawkins would probably be a bit dull, but I reckon Derren is a pretty good guy IRL.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:51, Reply)

But no prison could cage him!
He's probably make me give him all my money, before bumming me and running away.

Just like you did, in fact.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:54, Reply)

and yet you still keep coming back for more?
Sounds like Derren is the best bet for you.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:55, Reply)

when will i will i be famous

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:58, Reply)

I can't answer
I can't answer that.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 14:59, Reply)

But when will I get my picture in the papers?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 15:00, Reply)

I can't answer
I can't answer that!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 15:08, Reply)

You keep asking me
You're a slave to fashion and your life is full of passion
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 15:12, Reply)

Can we get a big projector
to advertise b3ta...


on the moon?
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 15:09, Reply)