My son is turning 20 tomorrow.
I'm going to get him a six pack of non-alcoholic beer, so he can celebrate being not quite 21 with some not quite beer. And I'm thinking of asking one of his friends to show up in a dress so he can share it with a not quite girl.

EDIT: we are also getting him a box of cake mix (not quite cake) and sticking crayons to the top (not quite candles). I may also get him a National Geographic DVD (not quite movie) and a Pat Boone CD (not quite music).

What twisted thing has given you the giggles today?
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sun 6 Dec 2009, 22:30, 31 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

You, just now.

(Bazongaloid, Sun 6 Dec 2009, 22:37, Reply)

Your face.
How are you both?

EDIT: Argh you just commented on me. Weird.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 6 Dec 2009, 22:38, Reply)

Slightly drunk
how's your mimsy?
(Bazongaloid, Sun 6 Dec 2009, 22:39, Reply)

I'm quite hungry, I think I'll have some more toast.
My mimsy is fine. I just keep accidently having erotic dreams about my coursemates.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 6 Dec 2009, 22:41, Reply)

Just fuck them instead
you'll soon realise how disappointing they are.
(Bazongaloid, Sun 6 Dec 2009, 22:43, Reply)

A sensible response
from a sensible chap.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 6 Dec 2009, 22:44, Reply)

I thought so

(Bazongaloid, Sun 6 Dec 2009, 22:46, Reply)

Me too.
Hence my comment above.

Been sick in any doorways recently?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 6 Dec 2009, 22:47, Reply)

Not since last week thanks!
I try to keep that sort of behaviour to a minimum.
(Bazongaloid, Sun 6 Dec 2009, 22:51, Reply)

Very glad to hear it.
I haven't spewed with drink for many a year. 2000 was the last time, I think.

Come close a couple of times, mind. I think these days I know when I've tanked my limit and then common sense cuts through the drunken fog.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 6 Dec 2009, 22:54, Reply)

I blame two things
well, three, one I hadn't eaten any food since lunchtime, two, bill bought a round of shots, and three, I'm a massive twat when I get drunk.
(Bazongaloid, Sun 6 Dec 2009, 22:55, Reply)

It was the shots what did it guv.
Honest.

Lack of food? A trifling detail, sir. Trifling detail...


See what I did there? Got the word 'trifle' into a comment about a lack of food, in a completely coincidental yet oh so appropriate phrase. Comedy gold...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 6 Dec 2009, 22:59, Reply)

Oh god I'd forgotten the shots

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 6 Dec 2009, 22:59, Reply)

I keep trying to forget
Unfortunately I wasn't quite drunk enough, despite drinking more Brown Ale than should have been good for me.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 6 Dec 2009, 23:02, Reply)

That night was pretty bad.
And I can't thank you and your lovely ladywife enough.

I've not drunk since. :/
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 6 Dec 2009, 23:04, Reply)

Bad
but in a good way.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 6 Dec 2009, 23:08, Reply)

For me it was bad
in a throwing-up-purple-waiting-for-a-bus-at-4-feeling-like-a-tit way :)

V accused me of being a moody cow. I will try my best to be smiley next time!
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 6 Dec 2009, 23:09, Reply)

Oh, I wish
One of them is very yummy.

The other person in the dreams lives in Sheffield and has a girlfriend. Hmm.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 6 Dec 2009, 22:58, Reply)

Family Guy
So wrong, and yet so right.

Evening.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 6 Dec 2009, 22:39, Reply)

His friend says he's into it.
Looks like I have some planning to do. I need to get a sugar free cake and maybe some crayons (not quite candles), and maybe get him a copy of Pat Boone's "No More Mr. Nice Guy" (not quite music).

I think I'm onto something here.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sun 6 Dec 2009, 22:59, Reply)

Sounds like a plan
Although I might be slightly worried about his friend though...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 6 Dec 2009, 23:01, Reply)

The friend is pretty funny.
He's about 6' 8" tall and weighs about the same as my daughter because he has Marfan's Syndrome. I do suspect that he's a closet gay, but he's pretty cool. He's always up for a good laugh.

Dammit, my son is in the other room talking to my daughter so I can't go plan this with her until he leaves!
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sun 6 Dec 2009, 23:05, Reply)

Remember the golden rule...
POIDH.

I'm bushed. I think bed calls.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 6 Dec 2009, 23:10, Reply)

I discovered Marfan's syndrome through /b/, of all places
Due to a discussion about fetishes for long fingers.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 6 Dec 2009, 23:14, Reply)

Actually, I dated a woman with Marfan's for a time.
She's taller than I am with fingers like twigs, and has serious health problems from it- she's already had a heart valve replaced.

We're still friends even though it didn't work, and I've often thought of her when I run into my son's friend as he's had to be in the hospital for ripping a lung.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sun 6 Dec 2009, 23:35, Reply)

Dude..
bottle of good bourbon, a gun and a hooker. that's a proper dad to son present. kids here generally gain access to all those things by the time they are 16, albeit supermarket vodka, some fucking computer game and getting the neighbours' daughter leathered enough on vodka to want sex.
(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Sun 6 Dec 2009, 23:04, Reply)

I refuse to give a gun
and he's already gettin' some on a regular basis. (I did tell him, though, that if he makes me a grandfather before I'm 55 I'll castrate him with a spoon.)

He doesn't like bourbon, scotch didn't appeal, but tequila seems to be okay with him. Therefore I know what I'm getting him for his next birthday.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sun 6 Dec 2009, 23:08, Reply)

I was joking
the concept of having kids scares the shit out of me - I'm nowhere near responsible enough.
(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Sun 6 Dec 2009, 23:23, Reply)

but when I was 20
the bourbon would have down a treat.

however I think my dad might have traumatised me for life had he presented me with a hooker and a firearm.
(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Sun 6 Dec 2009, 23:24, Reply)

It would be quite a coup
if he could get the neighbor's daughter ripped on vodka and play sheath-the-pork-sword, as the neighbors on either side have grown daughters who are pretty damn hot. Hell, if he managed that I'd take him out for a celebration after!
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sun 6 Dec 2009, 23:26, Reply)

Poor American boys
being made to wait that long before getting a legal beer -_-
( Peej, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 7:28, Reply)