Guests
I like having them, and I enjoy being one. However, there are rules, limitations and so on that must be adhered to, well, as far as I am concerned there are.

2 days, aka 48 hours is about as much as I can stand, whether I am the guest or the host. Even then there has to be extenuating circumstances. Usually when I have folk over to stay it is because we are partying for one reason or another and usually end up mashed. Waking up the next day/afternoon and having to entertain them all over again, but this time with an angle grinder against my head is none too enjoyable and frankly gets on my tit end.

The best guests are the ones who are up and away even before I get up, the noise of the front door closing envelopes me like teh sound of pound coins being discharged from a fruit machine. They don't need to have tidied up or made their bed or anything, just be away to do whatever it is they are doing. Failing that, a cup of tea and some brekkie, then get on their way. By that time my hospitality hasn't worn out as such, it's just that I can't be fucked anymore and want to veg out and stoat about the place not having to worry about about anything or anyone.

I realise this makes me sound like a joyless nugget, but we all have our preferences and we prefer if people silently obey them, dont we?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 13:31, 62 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

A question!
My preference to be called "m'lord" doesn't seem to be getting very far.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 13:37, Reply)

That's not a question, Noel.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 13:48, Reply)

What was that, m'lord?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:06, Reply)

As long as they pay their share and dont get in the way of the television or talk too much
they can stay as long as they like.

rafter
baz
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 13:39, Reply)

I am the person who has left before anyone else.
Simply because I don't like staying at other people's houses. I can't sleep there, I don't want to stick around to do whatever it is they think I should be doing with them.
Their beds/couches/air matresses are shit so I'm awake first, aching from too much drink and awkward positioning on a bed that isn't my own, and they'll sleep in because they're comfy cosy and I'm stuck twiddling my fucking thumbs.
The best mate is terrible about this. She will sleep in until the early afternoon when I'm up at the break of dawn. Yet she silently expects me to be there when she decides she wants to roll her fat arse out of bed, then she wants me to stay so she can cook me her shit food or watch some stupid movie I don't like, so pretty much everytime I stay there I tell her I've got to work so I can leave and do what I want.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 13:41, Reply)

You sound like the ideal guest.
You can come and stay anytime (one night only of course). My sofa is extremely comfy incidentally.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 13:46, Reply)

As I've got older
I treasure time on my own more and more. From my teens to my late 20s I was happy to be out and about for days on end - and if people came to visit I would be up for hammering it for as long as possible.

These days, much as I love my friends, when they go home and I get my home back, it feels great. Likewise if I'm going round someone's house I'll always piss off home before things have dragged on too long.

Maybe I'm just an antisocial cunt, mind you..
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 13:47, Reply)

I wouldn't say so
You sound to me as if you shit ingots of sociability. It's all about knowing when enough is enough. Don't sour the good bits with the ragged end, grinding bits.

I love having my pals over, but on my terms, as opposed to folk turning up when it suits them. Don't get me wrong though, the odd surprise visit (once every decade) is tolerable, but definitely not the advised.

I have to spend time on my own, it's an in built need. When my kids were small and the day was filled with unfiltered toddler based madness, i would simply go for a sit/lie down and tell them Daddy needed 10 minutes to chill out and that they should decant to the TV and do likewise. 9 time sout of 10 it would work and after just 5 minutes I would usually feel better.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 13:59, Reply)

I agree
I love to see people, but too long in the company of anyone is shit. I've only found one person exempt from this, and that is why I intend to marry her.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:08, Reply)

Oh my God that's proper boss
I'm not even mocking.
I can't see me feeling like this about anyone or anyone feeling like that about me.
I am seriously going to miss the cat when I go back to work though.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:09, Reply)

^ your subject line
is the singular most Liverpudlian thing I have ever read.

(this is not a criticism)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:16, Reply)

But I never said "la" at the end!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:22, Reply)

If you had
it would have caused a rift in the scouse/time continuum, maybe a black hole would have appeared over the Wirral or something.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:27, Reply)

Hahah

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:32, Reply)

when guests wouldn't fuck off from my parents' dinner parties
my father would just bugger off into the kitchen and start washing up.

I had one mate who routinely wouldn't go home and I used to to just get up and go to bed when I'd had enough. He was one of those 'shouldn't be allowed near cocaine' types.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:13, Reply)

My dad pretends to go to the toilet but really goes to bed

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:22, Reply)

...whereas I go to the toilet in my bed.
Isn't life funny!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:23, Reply)

I love my own space.
I live on my own and the flat's on two floors and quite roomy.
Me and the cat tolerate each other, and I like seeing people feel welcome and well-fed in my house, but just not too often. And not unexpected when I'm sat in my knicks eating a mug of buttercream, you know what I mean?

I live on the top floors so nobody can tell whether I'm home or not. You don't phone, you don't get in. Simple as that.

Now when I'm expecting you and I'm up for some company, well then it's Hotel Roota and you'll eat/drink/sleep like royalty. Just fuck off whe I start to look crabby.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:05, Reply)

Doesn't anyone on this site like having a
guest of the opposite sex stay with them (in their bed) overnight and into the morning?

I can see leaving someone else’s house in the early morning before she/he wakes up if once you wake up, you realize your beer goggles the night before were REALLY BAD and you find yourself next to a)a cross dresser/transgendered person of the same sex (if you don't normally go this way), b) a psychotic killer, c)someone or something that you are not sure what it is, or d) as appropriate.

It can actually be a lot of fun to wake up with a guest of the opposite sex!
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:10, Reply)

Um, I don't think so.
If I'm looking for some strange I certainly don't want to wake up next to them. Get your pants and get out.
Snuggling and smooching is reserved for the special ones.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:13, Reply)

It's alrgith if he's my boyfriend
But if it's early days or a one-night-stand it's cack and awkward.
Suddenly someone I've had a crush on for months becomes repulsive before my very eyes. I just want him out out out, and could he please vaporize so that the neighbours don't see him? Thanks.
I obviously have issues.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:15, Reply)

Issues and Tissues
The name of my next album.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:17, Reply)

But Charlotte Church beat you to it

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:18, Reply)

Charlotte Church can fucking 'beat me to it' any time

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:22, Reply)

*applauds*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:24, Reply)

Aaaah, never knew that
*goes back to drawing board*
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:27, Reply)

I'm retired from that game altogether I fear.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:15, Reply)

You're just resting
You'll be back kid!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:16, Reply)

Thanks for the vote of confidence, mate
It doesn't feel like that I have to say. I can't face all the upset and pain. I entered into a 7yr relationship aged 19, straight into a 5yr one, then a 4yr one. I fucking resign.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:20, Reply)

I did a strange on-off ten year relationship with a batshit loopsville fromage 16
And since then the longest I have managed is 5 months.
I've been a bit of a commitment phobe up until now, understandably.
But I reckon I might give it a crack this year. If I find someone worthy of my brilliance.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:26, Reply)

best typo ever
"fromage 16"

hahahaha
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:28, Reply)

:D :D

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:29, Reply)

that's the cheese withdrawals for ya

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:29, Reply)

On the brain!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:30, Reply)

^ I read that in the style of Sen Dog from Cypress Hill

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:32, Reply)

Fromage in the membrane!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:37, Reply)

This made me giggle muchly
Cheers!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:38, Reply)

I didn't even notice it 'till you pointed it out.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 15:26, Reply)

I watched The Ugly Truth last night
it told me if I wanted a boyfriend I needed to get on the stairmaster and get skinny

I haven't got a stairmaster :((
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:33, Reply)

do you have stairs?
they're nature's stairmaster
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:38, Reply)

HOLY SHIT!
You have stairs????
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:39, Reply)

too right
that's how I get from one floor to another
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:41, Reply)

I fall down the stairs often.
They hate me.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:58, Reply)

you just need to find someone sane with a penchant for civil war history and drug fiends

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:18, Reply)

She sounds like a rare gem
I'm sure she's out there...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:21, Reply)

Specialist interest stuff, that is

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:30, Reply)

you can't deny that you would need someone with "special interests"

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:31, Reply)

Anyone willing to take on my baggage
would have to be terminally stupid, and thus of little interest to me. Catch twenty muthafuckin two, yo.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:38, Reply)

good point
it is possible that someone will like you so much that they can deal with all that.

I can't think why, but I'm not a woman
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:40, Reply)

...or a total nutcase...

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:45, Reply)

I was trying to get away from the "only mentals can love monty" mindset

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:46, Reply)

My life is sad proof that this is the case.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:52, Reply)

could be worse
they could be mental and ugly
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:53, Reply)

A very bad combination
Until you throw unfeasibly rich into the mix, then it becomes more palatable.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:54, Reply)

only just
and then you have to hope they are mental enough to marry you then off themselves
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:55, Reply)

So true
look at Bernie Ecclestone.

There he is, under that leaf, next to the leggy Swedish model.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:56, Reply)

:)
Daft motor racing bastard that he is. He could climb right up inside her coiffured clopper.

Right chaps, that me finishing work early, hope 2010 brings us plenty of shits and giggles just like 2009 did!
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 15:00, Reply)

Yes indeed.
Have a great evening sir.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 15:01, Reply)

Me too
I've been married for 20 years as of yesterday.

For some reason my wifde doesn't want to wake up to find a strange women with me in in our bed (not that anyone else would actually want to wake up there. She woudl have to be really strange).
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:18, Reply)

that's 6 times longer than 2 out of 3 UK marriages last.
Good fucking work, old boy.

EDIT that might be 1 out of 3. Can't remember, sorry.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 15:02, Reply)

Thanks
My experience shows that keeping your wife locked in the basement makes for long marriages!

(Actually I really don't know why she has put up with me for the past 20 yrs of marraige and the 3 years before that. I'm a pain in the ass at least according to my daughters).
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 16:01, Reply)

A guest is wildly different from a lumber.
A lumber being someone you take back for the sole purpose of fucking. A guest is much more civilised.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:15, Reply)