Right then.
It's come to my attention that Psychochomp is trying to woo the lovely Snugglesacks and she won't, or can't reply to his gazzes.

What else can we, the online community, do to help Chomp in his quest for quim?
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:27, 65 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

chip in for a prossie?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:30, Reply)

Ha.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:30, Reply)

We could all chip in and buy him ten minutes with one of Milton Keynes' finest call girls.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:30, Reply)

Ha.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:32, Reply)

What's he going to do for the other 9 and a half minutes??????
/anyone of you 'comedy geniuses'
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:36, Reply)

Another thread about me YAY!

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:32, Reply)

Actually you could review this menu,
which I am going to send over to a girl to persuade her to come and see me. Basically would you drive 60+ miles for this?

Starter: Bruchetta
Main course: Tagliatelli Carbonara
Dessert: Pannacotta with vanilla ice cream

All home made except the ice cream including the pasta.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:34, Reply)

To be honest Chompy..
..you could be serving me swan on a bed of caviar, garnished with diamonds and it still wouldn't induce me to travel to Milton Keynes.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:36, Reply)

Well she was here this weekend, so she obviously doesn't have the same deep seated predjudice you have.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:39, Reply)

If my prospective date couldn't spell 'bruschetta' I'd stay at home and play with my breasts

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:36, Reply)

I'll spell check it before sending you channnt

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:37, Reply)

Don't top the bruschetta until you are about to serve.
I fucked up once by planning ahead too far and served soggy bruschetta - not a good look.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:38, Reply)

That's a school boy error.
It's got to be made just as it's about to be served.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:42, Reply)

Yeah.
All the schoolboys round my way are ALWAYS getting their bruschetta wrong. That and knifing each other in the kidneys.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:48, Reply)

I like breasts.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:38, Reply)

or tell the difference
between 'hear' and 'here'
( djtrialprice, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:41, Reply)

eh?
oh right, edited now.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:42, Reply)

or 'prejudice' and whatever 'predjudice' is...

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:45, Reply)

Use lemon juice instead of vanilla to flavour the panna cotta

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:39, Reply)

I'll have a look round for a good recipe.
So do you think that shows enough effort? Or should I do something more pretentious?
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:40, Reply)

Starter: Croissant
Post Dessert: Coffee
( djtrialprice, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:42, Reply)

I'm not sure it could be much more pretentious.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:44, Reply)

But Noel
It's toast with a topping, a bowl of pasta, and cream flavoured jelly.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:45, Reply)

Right up-fucking-market.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:49, Reply)

Are you winding me up?
I'm being serious about menus here, to help you, because I'm nice.
So if you do pretentious you might get it wrong, and even if you get it right, it will up your anxiety levels, and that makes for bad dates.

Panna cotta is easy, but so as not to make it too sickly and put her to sleep, swap the vanilla flavouring for 100ml lemon juice.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:44, Reply)

100ml lemon juice 100mg Rohypnol
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:46, Reply)

No, I'm not winding you up,
although I will if you don't answer the bloody question. Does it show enough effort?
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:46, Reply)

Yes it fucking well does!
but not too much.
That is good.

I've still got my eye on you, so no cuntiness right.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:47, Reply)

That was my thinking.
Thanks for your help, we now have a truce until midnight tonight.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:48, Reply)

*one single nod with flared nostrils*

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:50, Reply)

I'd say so
Get a couple of bottles of classy wine and you should be fine. If you're having difficulty choosing said wine ask what the refined and upstanding females around here drink... and buy something completely different.
( djtrialprice, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:49, Reply)

No!
Make it sickly and put her to sleep.





Giggity ¬_¬
( djtrialprice, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:47, Reply)

if she's gonna travel 60 miles for 'dinner', she's probably gonna put out anyway, the slag
So the lemon will keep her perky
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:49, Reply)

It's not beyond the realms of possibility she's reading this, be nice.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:50, Reply)

if she's a B3tan, she'll put out
Wine and Kings of Leon probably
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:51, Reply)

She's not a b3tan but is aware of the website.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:52, Reply)

Well stop ruining the menu surprise for her then

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:56, Reply)

It's a very very small chance.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:57, Reply)

I'd better not mention that kiddie-fiddling charge then, eh?
Oops, sorry.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:51, Reply)

oooooh
anyone we know? schlaaaaaaaag
( djtrialprice, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:51, Reply)

Nope, I really doubt she's an offtopicer,
even if she's got an account.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:54, Reply)

you'll be banging her up the shitter so hard it'll be like the Somme
mud and guts everywhere
(Fancy a weekend on my Raymondo Luxury Yacht?, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 13:01, Reply)

He should give up.
She's a nurse.

Nurses are distilled evil.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:57, Reply)

Snugglesacks is a nurse?
You're putting my stalking to shame.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:59, Reply)

Nah.
She mentioned it in passing ages ago, and I remembered it. Might take me a bit to find the exchange...

Can't find it, but I did find this: www.b3ta.com/questions/animalcruelty/post106772

Found it! jelly.b3ta.com/questions/dumbthings/post109129

Further edit: s247.photobucket.com/albums/gg154/snugglesacks/?action=view¤t=DSC00157.jpg
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 18 Jan 2010, 12:07, Reply)

What she's real?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 12:08, Reply)

Defined on the /qotw fail archive as a Weapons grade attention seeker.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 12:16, Reply)

Good luck with this
Flavour the panna cotta with lemon instead of vanilla...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 12:27, Reply)

I'm not cooking for snugglesacks by the way.
just makin that clear.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 12:31, Reply)

Damn.
I was hoping for more pics.

BTW, still want recipes? I can give you one for marinated chicken shish kebabs that will pretty much guarantee you getting laid...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 18 Jan 2010, 12:34, Reply)

I've just sent the menu over for approval, if she says no I'll come back for other options.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 12:37, Reply)

Hell, might as well give it to you anyway, in case of future need.
For about a pound and a half of chicken (I use breast meat for this):

1 to 1-1/2 cups white vinegar
1 cup oil
1/2 cup lemon juice
2 tsp salt
1 tsp black pepper
1 tbsp paprika
2 tsp oregano
2 tsp basil
1 tsp minced garlic (or 2 cloves of fresh)

Cut the chicken into bite-size chunks and put it in a gallon Ziploc bag (or a glass bowl if you prefer) and soak it for at least two hours, though overnight is better.

Cut up green pepper and onion into chunks about an inch or so square- that is, about the same size as the chicken. Skewer it with a piece of chicken at each end (to keep things from falling off), and make sure that the onion is against the chicken and the pepper against the onion. Add whatever other veggies you like- grape tomatoes work well, as do small mushrooms. Grill it if you can; if not, put them in a shallow baking dish or a cookie sheet and bake at 350F for 20 minutes. Serve over rice pilaf.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 18 Jan 2010, 12:50, Reply)

Sounds nice.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 12:54, Reply)

It's my own recipe, kinda.
It's more or less the marinade used at a Greek restaurant in Utica NY that I used to go to, but I've added a couple of things- for instance, the lemon juice tenderizes the chicken a lot in conjunction with the vinegar and gives it a sharper flavor.

Have them made up ahead of time and any woman will be blown away by them- they look wildly complex, like you spent the day making them, and taste fantastic. A glass of dry white wine to go with it and she'll be dragging you to the bedroom.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 18 Jan 2010, 13:03, Reply)

Oh i seee...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 12:39, Reply)

Yeah, but
they can do that thing though right? With the rubber gloves?
( djtrialprice, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 12:00, Reply)

Washing up?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 12:01, Reply)

You might need to...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 12:03, Reply)

I'm on fire today.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 12:03, Reply)

You immolating dafty!

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 12:20, Reply)

Vere passum immolatum

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 12:54, Reply)

The best way to a women's knickers is to make them laugh.
So let's be honest, he's got no chance.
( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 13:08, Reply)

Haha

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 13:47, Reply)

What about if she's laughing at your willy?
Sympathy fuck?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 14:03, Reply)

Even your aura of dull can't put me in a bad mood today.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 14:26, Reply)