Day Off!
Woo! Day off!

Colleagues are taking the flak today as I did overnight cover last night (which in practice meant a child who'd swallowed a Lego brick being brought into the emergency GP practice and bounced to A&E with the comment from me (sotto voce) "do you see an X-ray machine anywhere here?" and, more seriously, an old lady whose son rang to say that she'd finally slipped away and would I come over and certify her).

I'm thus sitting in the living room watching TV, playing with the dog having taken The Child to school. Wife is at work.

Entertain me b3ta, please!
(Medical_Male Say aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 11:48, 75 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

*tap dances*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 11:51, Reply)

Careful you don't slip
1,307 people a year die as a result of dancing on taps
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:04, Reply)

*Applauds*

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:17, Reply)

Maybe you should use your time off
to write a a list of 25 things to do on your day off.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 11:53, Reply)

Can you go to my flat and clean it please.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 11:58, Reply)

Mine too please
Surgically clean.

You could start an agency "Doctors on their days off" so that you loafers could earn a bit more dosh.

Do you do gardenning to, a bit of tree surgery?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:06, Reply)

Loafers?
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Sorry. Nearly died of amusement there!
(Medical_Male Say aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:08, Reply)

Did I spell it incorrectly or something?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:11, Reply)

You can't die of amusement, you're a charlatan.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:16, Reply)

Yes you can.
A chap once died of a heart attack brought on by laughing too much, whilst watching the legendary 'black pudding fight' sketch on The Goodies. Apparently his wife was very philosophical about it, saying at least he'd died enjoying himself.

True story.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:55, Reply)

Was that the one with the big flat caps?

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 28 Jan 2010, 13:02, Reply)

Yup. It was very, very funny
Not quite so funny as to give me a heart attack, mind...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 13:10, Reply)

Ecky-THUMP!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 28 Jan 2010, 13:27, Reply)

That's the one
How are you, old bean?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 13:43, Reply)

I'm very well, ta for asking
And replying to you 7 months too late so you won't actually see this.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:54, Reply)

this made me laugh though
although i am quite pissed. so pretty much anything would!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:57, Reply)

This'll totally get you pissing your knickers. then.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 23 May 2012, 23:57, Reply)

Entertain me!

Whats the funniest thing that you have found in someones arse?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:08, Reply)

Not me but............
My sister found a toy car up someones bum once (like in Jackass), and also a broken bottle (one of those old style coke bottles that you get in pubs)

She's a radiographer and gets to see some weird stuff.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:09, Reply)

What was she doing,
messing around someone's butthole?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:21, Reply)

Nothing Interesting, I'm Afraid
Found a condom up one once, and many years ago saw a wine bottle sticking out of one. Does that help?
(Medical_Male Say aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:09, Reply)

Someone's willy.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:10, Reply)

Not attached to anybody?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:13, Reply)

Yes.
Chopped off, just like Mr Bobbit.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:14, Reply)

Then shoved up a bum
as a sort of memento or trophy.

I see.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:22, Reply)

Stranger things happen at sea.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:24, Reply)

at seain my basement
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 13:27, Reply)

A piece of corn
Apparently it came out of her boyfriend's foreskin.
No, wait...
/lies
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:14, Reply)

Corn on the knob

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:23, Reply)

*sniggers*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:27, Reply)

Awww, you said a naughty wo...
...as you were
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:30, Reply)

the traditional response is
*'sracist*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:37, Reply)

I don't use traditonal responses
you old git
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:39, Reply)

So I see
you young fool.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:55, Reply)

*chortles*
and...........

*guffaws*
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:30, Reply)

*sings at top vols*
You can see the door is open
So if you don't want your nose broken
You had better go away
'Cos Terry's coming round today

Terry wants my photograph
Terry says our love will last forever
And he should know
That boy Terry's not the kind
To mess around and change his mind
Terry is as tough as Marlon Brando

*bops*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:32, Reply)

*throws penny in cap*
Well done there young lady. Perhaps you would like to perform at my club for a few friends and me.

My Bentley is parked just round the corner.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:41, Reply)

Perform in a lewd way?
Lewd is my word of the week.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:43, Reply)

Lewd, No
I prefer "Tastefull"
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:45, Reply)

Oh really mister?
Am I going to be the Next Big Thing?
You should hear me do Bobby's Girl.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:44, Reply)

And how do you do Bobby's girl?
Is she clothed?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:46, Reply)

'Ere, what kind of club is this?
And why are you eyeing me lasciviously?
('lascivious' is MY word of the week)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:47, Reply)

A gentlemen's club
with leather chairs and everything.

And a little podium for the entertainment.

Very discreet.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:50, Reply)

I get to sing, right?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:51, Reply)

Eventually
after the jousting.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:52, Reply)

I've been led up the garden paaarth I 'ave!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:54, Reply)

Alright, you can go on before the jousting.
I wanna be bobby's girl,
I wanna be Bobby's girl,
etc.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 13:01, Reply)

Can I watch you do Bobbys girl?
hee hee
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:47, Reply)

But you're me, you tit!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:49, Reply)

It's been so long since I looked 'down there' I'd forgotten

( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:50, Reply)

I still say you're Edmund
You're fooling no-one!
( djtrialprice, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:41, Reply)

I actually think this though

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:43, Reply)

Who's Edmund?

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:44, Reply)

Ed's Meds

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:44, Reply)

The psycho bigamist medical wannabe hand destroying fantasist mentals-case
He (Ed) isn't a real Dr. only a pretend one.
( djtrialprice, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:46, Reply)

Is he out of chokie yet?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:48, Reply)

Looks that way ^

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:50, Reply)

He was due out in December.
Probably slightly earlier for good behaviour etc.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 13:03, Reply)

And yet, he is nowhere to be seen.
Odd, that.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 28 Jan 2010, 13:29, Reply)

I'd like to think that during his time inside he's discovered a little humility and sought anonymity
and learned to be much more careful when carrying out unlicensed medical procedures.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 13:36, Reply)

There's only one way to settle this
Medical Male, gaz Roota a picture of your cock.
( djtrialprice, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:47, Reply)

*puts glasses on*
Actually, he needs to invite me to the opera.
I'll know for sure then.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:51, Reply)

I'm still shocked he didn't see you as the
bag-of-chips-up-against-the-bus-stop kind of girl you truly are
( djtrialprice, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:59, Reply)

Don't forget the batter bits
She won't do anything if she doesn't get the batter bits!
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 13:01, Reply)

A woman after my own heart disease.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 13:04, Reply)

I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one here with a reputation.
Albeit injust.
( girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 13:29, Reply)

I really won't.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 13:58, Reply)

He probably imagined some kind of
'Educating Rita' scenario.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 13:20, Reply)

I reckon that's exactly it
You cunt
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 13:58, Reply)

And he's fallen silent :)

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 13:55, Reply)

I'm actually convinced now...
I have another b3tan as a witness that I smelt this in December.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 13:59, Reply)

He seemed to say nothing about anything but his medical job...

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 14:04, Reply)

Did he gaz you?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 14:05, Reply)

He hasn't.
I'm not so honoured...
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 14:10, Reply)

I'd put money on it being Edmund.
that's all I'm saying for now!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 14:15, Reply)