I swear to God, you're *this* close to a punch in the tits.
Chaps, what thoroughly misogynistic quips have you bellowed at your lady friends to make a point, or express your frustration at her, whilst in a large group or gathering?

Edit - just realised there was recently a Sexism QOTW. My apologies, OT.
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Tue 9 Feb 2010, 14:32, 52 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

you're lucky my carpal tunnel is acting up
or it would be so on
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 14:39, Reply)

Yeah, lucky me!
Ha ha I love wimmins, they're all fiery and grrr!
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Tue 9 Feb 2010, 14:45, Reply)

I got that from a cartoon

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 14:57, Reply)

I love cartoons!
Which was it?!
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Tue 9 Feb 2010, 14:59, Reply)

Fanboy and Chum Chum
is the shiiiiiiiiiiiit
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:00, Reply)

I'm proud to say I'm not sexist in the slightest.
I'm equally horrible to both sexes.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 14:39, Reply)

I quite like the Derek and Clive approach
"I'm going to kick you in the cunt 'til your tits explode!"
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 14:40, Reply)

In a conversation about the gender gap between coping with pain
begin your argument with, "I realise pregnancy stings a bit but..."
( djtrialprice, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 14:41, Reply)

AA, Dj
Excellent additions, well done chaps!
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Tue 9 Feb 2010, 14:47, Reply)

haven't had the chance yet to use this on a friend
who has actually given birth but I think it will be worth the impending castration.
( djtrialprice, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 14:55, Reply)

Unbelievably..........
AA is probably the only person I know who would actually say that in real life, to a real girl.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:24, Reply)

Yep!
It's true!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:46, Reply)

I don't get in arguments.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 14:47, Reply)

My mrs refuses to have a barny. Very frustrating. She won't rise to it.
I have to go to my nans and kick off with her instead.
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Tue 9 Feb 2010, 14:49, Reply)

I work in an office
So there are dem crazy females.

I can get into all kinds of arguments without even trying. For example, I was once busily doing whatever I do when Laura stormed into the office having been in the kitchen. "WHO KEEPS LEAVING THE CUPBOARD DOORS OPEN?"

Well it was me, when I reach for a tea bag I neither open or close the cupboard door, I merely slink my forearm in the gap. What difference does it makes? You're too short for it to band your head and being something like 25 degrees ajar it hardly looks offensive?

But yes, this slightly open cupboard caused outrage and I was beaten into submission. Really makes me wonder.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 14:53, Reply)

You should really shut cupboard doors.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 14:54, Reply)

Pah.
It wasn't even properly me anyway, someone else initially opened it - I merely didn't close it!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:18, Reply)

Yes you should
Some ladies have a habit of walking into them....
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 18:14, Reply)

Loads of ladyfriends though!

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 14:50, Reply)

I think I have more female friends than male friends.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 14:53, Reply)

and you know what they say about chaps like THAT....

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 14:55, Reply)

Massive cock?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 14:56, Reply)

gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 14:56, Reply)

I aint gay,
You're gay.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 14:59, Reply)

so's your face

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:01, Reply)

Pfffffft!

(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:02, Reply)

Sir! Sir! Monders has farted, sir.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:04, Reply)

I have been a bit flatulant today,
True story!

Monty, I read you were well busy today. WTF?!
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:16, Reply)

Unbelievably so, old bean....

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:20, Reply)

Dreadfully sorry to hear that.
I too have been given work to do. One is not amused.
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:27, Reply)

You are indeed.
However Kristine's reply was what I meant.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 14:59, Reply)

correct
I think fag hag is the term for that sort of female friend
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:03, Reply)

I prefer 'fruit fly'

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:17, Reply)

Haha never heard that one before.
*adds to Insultipedia*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 16:17, Reply)

Not this ^

(Halfy By light alone, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:01, Reply)

This ^

(Halfy By light alone, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:00, Reply)

"No, be quiet, we're going home. I need you to paint my hair!"

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:09, Reply)

You do the collar
I'll do the cuffs
( djtrialprice, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:13, Reply)

that wasn't very subliminal

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:16, Reply)

Yeah, I'm getting lazy sorry

( djtrialprice, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:17, Reply)

You're fired

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:26, Reply)

You can have his job, rootsy.
For less money, obviously. Now be a love and get that file from the bottom drawer... Lower... Yes, that's right... Bend over a biiiit more...
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:29, Reply)

Nothing I say is going to get me out of this one.
*silence*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:32, Reply)

You may thank me later, OT
:0)
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:39, Reply)

Much less
Unless programming is a pre-requisite for book shelving these days
( djtrialprice, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:44, Reply)

I am not a fucking shelver!!!!!!!!!!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 16:09, Reply)

:D
Your rage makes me smile
( djtrialprice, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 16:18, Reply)

I'm full on Trio Suzy right now!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 16:20, Reply)

Psst
It's 'shirter', Roots.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 16:18, Reply)

*exchanges*

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 16:20, Reply)

I find
a pat on the head and a "yes dear" serves its purpose well enough. They shouldn't be butting in on man talk, anyway.
( Kroney, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 17:25, Reply)

always been a favorite of mine
I have scars to prove it too.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 9 Feb 2010, 17:58, Reply)