i dunno if you remember/care
a week or so back, i asked /offtopic for some advice about being headhunted.

well, i took it, and sent the MD of this company an email
i got a reply last night... he wants to set up a meeting between me, him, his partner and their creative director to discuss a job!!

thanks for the advice.

umm..
so what's got you in a good mood this morning?
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:09, 59 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This has
well done.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:11, Reply)

i'm glad
i'm grinning like a chimp on meth right now.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:23, Reply)

I don't care
can you please insert a knob gag in future just to stop me ripping out both eyes with a spork in dispair that you post such irrelevant shit even by OT standards
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:16, Reply)

A horse walks into a bar
and the bar man says "why the long face?"

To which the horse replies "I was wanked off by Joe Swash on "farm yard celebrity insemination on ice last night"
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:18, Reply)

ok
man in a dirty mac walks into a clock repair shop and says 'do you do repairs?' the woman replies 'yes, we do' so he whips his cock out on the counter and says 'well can you stick a couple of new hands and a face on this for me?'

what?
fuck you and your high standards.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:23, Reply)

Why is it always useful to have a drummer around when you're setting up a stage?

If he dribbles from both sides of his mouth, you know it's level.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:32, Reply)

Why are singers terrible at opening doors?

They can never find the right key and don't know when to come in.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:33, Reply)

Officelols
curse you
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:34, Reply)

I've got lots of these...

(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:34, Reply)

Why do sounds engineers always say "One Two, One Two"?

So the drummer can make sure he has the right amount of sticks.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:34, Reply)

What do you call a swimming pool full of Bass players?

Vegetable soup.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:36, Reply)

What do you call a guitarist who's split up with his girlfriend?

Homeless.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:38, Reply)

How do you get two guitarists to play in perfect unison?

Shoot one.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:38, Reply)

What does a stripper do with her arsehole before going to work?
She helps him find his sticks and drops him off at band practice.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:47, Reply)

Ha!!
Brilliant! I've not heard that one before!
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:47, Reply)

How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one - but the guitarist has to show him first.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:51, Reply)

What did the bassist get on his IQ test?

Drool.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:53, Reply)

What's the difference between a drum machine and a drummer?
You only have to punch the information in to a drum machine once.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 12:06, Reply)

How many singers does it take to change a lightbulb?
One.

And he wants to just stand there and let the rest of the world revolve around him.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 12:07, Reply)

How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. There's a machine for doing that these days.
( djtrialprice, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 12:09, Reply)

I like the singer jokes
I'm sad though that in my new band I'm the singer and not the guitarist :(
( djtrialprice, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 12:11, Reply)

Hey man...
...you should ditch those guys and go solo. They are holding you back.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 12:14, Reply)

now you put it like that
it's so obvious
( djtrialprice, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 12:34, Reply)

What you need is a good manager.
Of course I used to do a bit years back but those days are long gone.

My - what a pretty mouth you have.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 12:37, Reply)

you jest
but I do have a lovely mouth.
( djtrialprice, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 12:39, Reply)

I'm about to take up position as guitarist in a new band.

I'm daunted.

I've been drumming for nearly 15 years and have been 'meddling' with guitar even longer. Not sure I can pull it off in a band situation...
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 16 Feb 2010, 12:21, Reply)

MTFU.
Of course you can - Brian May has been playing for decades and he is shite.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 12:34, Reply)

When you put it like that...

(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 16 Feb 2010, 12:35, Reply)

If you ever need a motivational speaker...
...i'm yer boy.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 12:48, Reply)

how many guitarists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. one to change the bulb and the other to say he could do it better.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 12:44, Reply)

Singers are ace, you git!!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 13:04, Reply)

Let that be a lesson to you next time you're dithering

if an opportunity arises grab it with both hands and maybe your feet as well.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:16, Reply)

yes, yes, i need to be less dither-y
*converts self from .gif to .jpg*
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:24, Reply)

Are .gifs dithery? I wasn't aware of this!

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:44, Reply)

This got me in a good mood
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/edinburgh_and_east/8517727.stm - clearly the Kingdom of Fife is the greatest region in the UK evah. Yeah, yeah, yeah... links board to the left, get it up yez!
( djtrialprice, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:24, Reply)

Congrats, that's good news!
I am in a good mood because a t-shirt I ordered a month ago has finally arrived... was it worth the wait - oh yes! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:37, Reply)

Oh i missed this!
What;s the t-shirt??
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 13:05, Reply)

Good for you
I'm pondering ways to escape from this tutorial apart from throwing myself down some stairs. Suggestions anyone?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:39, Reply)

Throwing yourself
out the window
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:50, Reply)

Get abducted.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:52, Reply)

throw yourself into the lift?
then throw yourself out of the lift when you reach your intended floor?
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:52, Reply)

Throw down...
...with the tutor?
(ThomsonsPier consumes, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:57, Reply)

Throw down some shapes

then win the resulting break battle and swagger off into the distance or Nandos, whatever is closer.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:58, Reply)

Nandos it is

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 12:20, Reply)

I'm happy because
So far my shift on the deli counter is going well, and I'll be off and B3ta-ing in ten mins! And someone said something nice to me yesterday ;-)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 12:22, Reply)

how do you do internet on a deli counter...
Do you have a hamputer?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 12:26, Reply)

Do you serve 'mega-bites'?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 12:41, Reply)

deli counter is code for
the library service desk because I don't want to be identified.
SHIT!

Oh, and Al is convinced that's where I really work.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 12:56, Reply)

why in all of christendom
would someone say something nice to you? Were you about to stab them?
( djtrialprice, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 12:36, Reply)

Dude.
Liverpool.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 12:48, Reply)

and fuck you

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 12:55, Reply)

*knuckles*
Shush, you.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 12:56, Reply)

Ah, how goes DiTster?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 12:58, Reply)

Reet ta.
And you, Rootmeister?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 12:59, Reply)

I'm goooood
I'll be back here properly at about 2, and I'll get involved, maaan!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 13:02, Reply)

Fuck you

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 12:54, Reply)

Good on ya.

( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 13:16, Reply)

Knew ya could -
knew ya would.

Best of - and come back with result.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 16 Feb 2010, 16:08, Reply)

You appear to have not killed yourself.
Last advice I give you.

Harrumph.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 18:12, Reply)