I've just dropped some of my digestive biscuit in my cup of tea.
It's put me in a bad mood for the rest of the day now.

There should be a programme called 'when biscuits go bad' for this sort of thing.

What really pisses you off about certain biscuits?
( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:00, 74 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Really?
Reallly?
(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:03, Reply)

*wafts odour of masturbation and desperation towards pschochomp*

( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:04, Reply)

*steps in an absorbs*

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:06, Reply)

Don't tell me you enjoy his po-faced banter?

( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:09, Reply)

No ya div
I wanted some of that masturbation and desperation odour for myself!!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:10, Reply)

You've already got it silly.

( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:11, Reply)

Need MOAR

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:11, Reply)

best insult ever
"her ass looks like a busted can of biscuits"
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:08, Reply)

best insult ever is actually cumsponge

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:09, Reply)

lets just say that while both are great insults, neither are actually the best

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:11, Reply)

My dad calls me a tablet
It makes me larf
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:12, Reply)

My step-dad calls me a daft tart.
But then again he calls everyone a daft tart.
( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:14, Reply)

my dad calls me Kristine

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:17, Reply)

the swine!
your dad that is. I'm not suggesting he calls you Kristine the Swine
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:17, Reply)

Why would he do that?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:17, Reply)

Because
he loves this song
www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_jQRRucXd4
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:22, Reply)

Best I ever heard
was two black girls on the bus, describing a wannabe-black Asian kid as a 'bollywog'.

Fucking inspired, that is.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:12, Reply)

that is good
you need something that well work in every situation, that is actually a bit insulting, and preferably gross.

thus, cum-sponge.

bucket-cunt is also a good one, but is limited to women.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:16, Reply)

I am going to the shop RIGHT NOW to buy digestives.
Damn your post, and damn my suggestibility.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:09, Reply)

Bloody hormones!

( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:10, Reply)

she's not moaning that much

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:16, Reply)

NOOOO
get something nice like bourbons.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:15, Reply)

can you get me some
Fox's Crinkle Crunch creams please? or some Fruit Shortcake? I'll gaz you the dosh...
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:16, Reply)

Bourbons are evil and must be stopped.

( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:19, Reply)

Tru dat.
Custard creams, however, are more of the win.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:20, Reply)

You can't go wrong with a biscuit that has the words custard and cream in the name.

( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:24, Reply)

What about the short lived Fox's Love Custard & Arse Cream Speciality Biscuit?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:25, Reply)

their 'Cock Custard and Pile Creams' were lovely, though

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:38, Reply)

To be honest, it it's a biscuit, I'll eat it, I'm not that picky.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:24, Reply)

So I've heard.

( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:27, Reply)

It runs in the family

(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:28, Reply)

I suggest you eat what the hell you like, because you've had a dreaful time of it!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:16, Reply)

Did you watch that programme the other day in a maternity ward.
Funniest thing ever.
( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:18, Reply)

No
But did you watch My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding last night?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:19, Reply)

Yes.
Poor girls.
( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:20, Reply)

Only Joan made me sad.
The others seemed alright about it.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:20, Reply)

But they have no freedom unless they get married : (

( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:23, Reply)

Plus they are all pikey thieving cunts.
Not that I'm prejudiced or owt.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:24, Reply)

they seemed like nice folks
I was drunk like
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:25, Reply)

I'm sure they were nice on the camera
but you didn't see them shitting in the corner of your garden and leaving rubbish everywhere, threatening anyone who went near their caravan and considering themselves above the planning laws but happily using human rights legislation to make it nigh on impossible for people to evict them from their land did you?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:27, Reply)

I don't want to be serious today Al
Some gypsies' dogs attacked my nana once but I don't think they all fetch their dogs on people.
Please, let's be all nice and wistful and that.
*stealth-hug*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:30, Reply)

Alright, sorry

(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:32, Reply)

Gosh
Cheers, Al!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:34, Reply)

Gyppoes are fucking horrible.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:41, Reply)

they get to go to loads of weddings

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:24, Reply)

Dressed like a hooker.
You'd think they'd change the theme now and again.
( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:27, Reply)

yeah but they're not hookers
They're all good girls.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:28, Reply)

It's their lack of choice to be good or bad that pisses me off.
God lets us choose so why can't their parents.
( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:29, Reply)

I wish someone would make me be good
I hate having to do it myself.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:30, Reply)

It means more if you do it yourself.

( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:31, Reply)

The same philosophy doesn't apply to sex

(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:32, Reply)

yes it does

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:33, Reply)

bumming alone is a sad and lonely affair
bumming with you is a lot more fun.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:35, Reply)

Did Fleetwood Mac sing that?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:36, Reply)

I think it was Wet Wet Wet

( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:37, Reply)

Ha!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:38, Reply)

Yes, and I watched it from my bed in the maternity ward
and I am grateful that I have to have a C-section.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:20, Reply)

Haha!
I'm sure you will have much more decorum than that silly young girl who was screaming that she didn't want to go through with it. Like she had a bloody choice in the matter.
( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:22, Reply)

I saw a one last week
with the woman who had two kids of university age and then decided she wanted another and her husband spent most of the labour cracking jokes and pretending to lock her in the bathroom.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:23, Reply)

Didn't see that one.
I would suggest a severe kick in the gonads and then lock him in the bathroom.
( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:26, Reply)

Coconut macaroons.
Irresistable but make my teeth ache.


Sorry - is this thread for wimmin only?
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:25, Reply)

Ooh no.
No.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:26, Reply)

Ohh yes yes.

( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:28, Reply)

They're good with chocolate covering too.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:40, Reply)

I went to school with a girl they called 'Hershey' because apparently penis is good with chocolate covering as well.

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:42, Reply)

So did she like to cover her penis' in chocolate
or did she just like a lot of anal sex?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:45, Reply)

she covered some dudes penis in chocolate and gave him a blow job

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:49, Reply)

Ah - young love!

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:55, Reply)

I just like saying macaroons.

( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:42, Reply)

I'd like to lie with my head in your lap while you stroked my hair
and said the word Macaroons over and over. That would be a lovely way to spend a sunday afternoon.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:46, Reply)

Wouldn't it just.

( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:51, Reply)

Someone will correct me
Hamlet "Shall I lie with my head in your lap?"
Ophelia " Why no, my lord"
Hamlet " Did you think I spoke of country matters?"

Or summit.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:57, Reply)

It's
Hamlet "Shall I lie with my head in your lap?"
Ophelia " Why no, my lord"
Hamlet " What's the matter, have you got the trumps again?"
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 14:02, Reply)

Where I'm concerned, this would be more appropriate.

( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 14:03, Reply)