I was waiting in the supermarket this morning at the self service till thing
and this girl just walked in front of me and tried to use the checkout I was heading for.

I was really cross so I said "excuse me" then she didn't hear me as she had her earphones in so I said "Excuse ME" and she took one ear out and went "yeah?" and I said "I was waiting in front of you" so she went "oh right, okay, sorry" but she had already scanned her sandwich so the checkout started arseing up and I couldn't use it so I just said "well you might as well keep going now you've already scanned your sandwich" and then I said "for fucks sake, fucking cunt" but I said that bit quietly under my breath, and I gave her an evil look, but she wasn't watching me she was paying for her sandwich and leaving. So I just paid for my batteries and walked home.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 15:14, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So no bumming then?

( girlinthehole, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 15:15, Reply)

You didn't even curse her offspring?
Wow, this New Al thing...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 15:15, Reply)

Hahaha
See I would have messed that up and probably just screamed CUNT at her until she ran away crying with her sandwich!

What were the batteries for?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 23 Feb 2010, 15:16, Reply)

My vibrator
errrr, no, I mean my doorbell. My doorbell ran out of batteries so I didn't hear the postman this morning even though I was sitting in the living room when he turned up and put the card through the door which is annoying as it's raining and I don't want to walk down to the sorting office to get my parcel in the rain and I would drive but my car is in the garage as there is something wrong with it but I don't know what and I don't trust this garage like my normal garage but I don't know if my car will manage to get to my mum and dads on friday so I can take it to the normal garage so I have to hope this garage can fix it without charging me lots of money which I don't have.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 15:19, Reply)

Maybe you should have used the batteries
for a vibrator, it'd calm you down.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 23 Feb 2010, 15:22, Reply)

It doesn't calm me down.
If anything it gets me excited.
( girlinthehole, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 15:24, Reply)

I mean afterwards
not during.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 23 Feb 2010, 15:25, Reply)

You see now I'm thinking about you two
and your vibrators, and that's not calming me down in the slightest.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 15:27, Reply)

Theres just no helping you is there!

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 23 Feb 2010, 15:31, Reply)

Oh you're welcome to help me if you want!

(Bazongaloid, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 15:42, Reply)

RUDES ONLINE!
Where are all the knights?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 23 Feb 2010, 16:20, Reply)

At the DFS sale
the round table broke after Lancelot roughly sodomised Gwenevire over it.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 16:25, Reply)

OH NOES!

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 23 Feb 2010, 16:27, Reply)

If only the Modgazzer General were here

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 16:29, Reply)

*laments*

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 23 Feb 2010, 16:36, Reply)

Award for the most English post of the
Queing! Underhandedness! Avoidance of confrontation!

You should have scanned her fucking eyeballs until they bled
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 15:17, Reply)

I like this.

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 23 Feb 2010, 15:23, Reply)

Most English post of the what?
also PS 'queueing'.

You should have scanned your post until your eyeballs bled. I think you're due an award for 'least English post of the day'....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 16:44, Reply)

cueuent

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 17:27, Reply)

Grrrrr
When I was at the cinema last week a woman cut in the snack queue but she did it in a crafty way. She jumped in the queue to give her daughter and her friend their tickets, then she hung around, ordered popcorn, paid and then said ‘see you in a bit’ to the girls and fucked off outside leaving her daughter to dick around for 10 minutes deciding what to buy while I burst into flames behind them.

At times like that I wish I was Mr Gadget so I could have shouted ‘GO GO GADGET ARMS’ and twatted the bitch in the back of the head as she left the cinema.

*deep breath*
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 23 Feb 2010, 15:21, Reply)

'twatted the bitch'
Good wordage
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 15:26, Reply)