Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
« Go Back | Popular
Cheryl Cole is back on the marketI'll Ro-Cham-Beau you all for first crack
(, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 12:12, 112 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
All yoursProvided you promise only to use Viz-esque Geordie chat-up lines.
"Hoo, pet. Did yous knaa, scottish blokes are s'pursed to last longest in bed like, but them red indians is s'pursed to have the biggest nobs. Sorry, din't introduce meself...name's Geronimur Mactavish."
(, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 12:20, Reply)
I was thinkingmy best shot with one of the most beautiful, wealthiest and well-connected twentysomething women in Britain is probably to club her over the head and drag her back to my cave
(, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 12:28, Reply)
that is very funny.She doesn't look like a real person and her ability to turn on tears at a moments notice without ever smearing her make-up only serves to confirm that.
rafter
baz
(, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 12:29, Reply)
Imagine what practical purposes that has in bedInstant artificial wetness. Foreplay rendered redundant
(, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 12:30, Reply)
hm, useful...especially when triggered by one's own dulcet tones.
(, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 12:36, Reply)
*kicks you in the nuts*actually, you can have her.
she's far too stupid.
Only Kelly Brook can get away with being really stupid because she looks perfect
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 12:30,
Reply)
a little bitI've been conditioned to like bigger boobs by my last couple of girlfriends
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 12:33,
Reply)
You're both weirdYou shouldn't need conditioning to like big boobs!
(, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 12:37, Reply)
they aren't my top prioritymy ex had something ridiculous like double G though, so had to get used to them
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 12:41,
Reply)
believe it or notboobs can be too big for a tit wank
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 12:44,
Reply)
can you picture double G breasts?they are massive. it just doesn't work.
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 12:51,
Reply)
Oh rightCould you not just kind of not go right inbetween? Oh I have no idea what I'm talking about here.
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 12:52,
Reply)
it just didn't really work(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 12:54,
Reply)
I've never done it so I can't quite picture the logistics(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 12:55,
Reply)
I can take it or leave it really(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:02,
Reply)
No but it's just one of those things to tick off I guess.(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:03,
Reply)
...only 46 minutes late\PANDA \PANDA \PANDA \PANDA etc.
(
djtrialprice, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:50,
Reply)
ApparentlyI'm a manslag according to al. I'm good for all your box ticking needs.
(
djtrialprice, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:56,
Reply)
I've told you before, you whoreI want a Sunday kinda love.
With lots of ticks
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:58,
Reply)
I've got to lastpast Saturday night!?
Thanks for your interest but for that reason, I'm out.
Deborah Meaden is the only dragon left. She's interested in discussing Roota's scissoring past
(
djtrialprice, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:02,
Reply)
Nice reply thereProps & kudos, etc.
(
Duke Of Belmsford has got 99 records, but Jay-Z ain't one, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:06,
Reply)
She wasn't called Sally was she?I went out with a girl with comedy 30Gs she was my height, great body and my size shoes so wore mens skate shoes which I nicked all the time. Filthy bugger too, wanted me to take her up the council the first time we did the nasty.
(
Peej, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:03,
Reply)
nope. more welsh than thatshe was really short, which made the comedy large breasts even more noticable
good in bed, but fairly ordinary
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:08,
Reply)
HahahaWhat a delightful way to sum up your previous girlfriend, you stud you!
(, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:14, Reply)
:-PI didn't mean she was an ordinary girl. she was quality. but the bedroom shenanigans were fairly tame.
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:42,
Reply)
naacan't bear the cole accent
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 12:35,
Reply)
What would you consider fair barter for a go on the Brook?Whilst I've got my club handy
(, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 12:36, Reply)
bridget reganmultipleverses.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/br4.jpg
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 12:42,
Reply)
try Americashe's in some crappy tv show on sci fi.
I would also accept Zooey Deschanel, or at a push Katy Perry as long as she had been thoroughly disinfected first.
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 12:44,
Reply)
if you like Zooey,I reckon you will also like Alessandra Torresani from new BSG spin-off, 'Caprica'. Honourable mention to her co-star, Magda Apanowicz. They play 16-year-olds but they're both really in their 20's so it's win-win.
(, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 12:57, Reply)
neither of them really do it for me lookswise(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:01,
Reply)
Can't fault you on Deschanelor Perry. Or Brook. Or this other bird. Acid test - Alyson Hannigan
(, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:08, Reply)
lovelyyou just know she's a filthy minx
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:10,
Reply)
You, sir, have impeccable tasteand I am never introducing you to my girlfriend
(, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:12, Reply)
I haz same taste as ViprosFact.
Where's your bird at?..
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:13,
Reply)
No way am I letting you try the spaghetti thing firstEven if it was your idea
(, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:14, Reply)
I can't hear youI'm outside a trattoria with your missus
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:17,
Reply)
fucking brilliantPOTD in fact
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:31,
Reply)
hahahalikewise. keep her clear of Roota too!
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:14,
Reply)
this is truethat's one of the reasons why she is my BFF
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:26,
Reply)
I love you baybeean' if it's quide arlride I need you baybee to warm the lonelee nides
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:29,
Reply)
I had an openingand was considering you as a candidate. Roota got there first though, sorry
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:44,
Reply)
Ah I seeeeIts the usual story for me, always considered never the actual BFF.
*ho-hums*
(, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:47, Reply)
technicallythat means you are my nemesis as well.
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:58,
Reply)
*raises hand tentatively*Don't want to look unbelievably clingy and sad, like
(, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:49, Reply)
CapricaAny good? On a sci-fi scale of greatness, in which 10 is BSG, 9 is Firefly and 1 is Enterprise?
(, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:08, Reply)
Well, 3 episodes in, it's already better than Enterprise.I've never seen Firefly but if you love BSG, I reckon you'll dig this. Not as good but good enough and it's yer man Ronald D. Moore in charge so it will be interesting to see where he goes with it.
(, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:29, Reply)
Firefly is the bollocksgreat show. shame it was axed and they made a slightly lack-lustre film to wrap it up.
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:32,
Reply)
I loved the film!Although there was the sense of what might have been permeating it
(, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:34, Reply)
yeah, that's the troubleI actually saw the film before I saw the series, so really liked the film, but the series is superb.
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:41,
Reply)
I dunno, man!Firefly sounds totally ghey and you have more than a healthy penchant for cheesy rubbish.
(, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:54, Reply)
firefly is widely accepted as being awesomethe fact that I enjoy Glee is not relevant to this discussion
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:58,
Reply)
a PE teacher lives in my houseso naturally she loves 'Glee'. I sat and watched it with her the other night and there was a lot of poofs frolicking about and fuck all wobbly lady business. You may wish to contemplate getting yourself checked out for a dose of 'teh ghey', my friend!
(, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:02, Reply)
I like Glee tooAm rapidly becoming concerned that we're actually the same person
(, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 15:02, Reply)
Wouldn't want herShe's really funny looking and her songs are shit, man, pet, like.
(
Peej, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 12:30,
Reply)
Dull? Lifeless?Yep, that'll be your last single, Chezza.
(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 24 Feb 2010, 12:32,
Reply)
*cough*your*cough*quick before Monty gets back
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 12:33,
Reply)
What?*whistles*
*remembers can't actually whistle*
(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 24 Feb 2010, 12:38,
Reply)
Lucky escape there, Davvers old boy...(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:28,
Reply)
What can I say?Furtive b3ta browsing + speedily typed reply = Massive Grammar And Spelling Fail.
(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:57,
Reply)
I lost a lot of respect forWil.I.AM after he agreed to "sing" on that god awful "song" she "did"
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 12:33,
Reply)
Yeahbut I also have a lot of respect for Al so maybe my scale is way off
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 12:50,
Reply)
AI could write better lyrics than Will.I.AmSo, for that matter, could a swarm of mosquitos with pencils stuck to their arses
(, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:07, Reply)
I lost a lot of respect for Will.I.Amwhen I he started making records and calling himself 'Will.I.Am'.
Prior to that I had no problem with the fellow.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:34,
Reply)
Thank you!I am convinced he's a shirter, maybe one day he'll realise it too!
(, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:15, Reply)
He's doing a very convincing job of proving otherwiseHe seems to be trying to personally convince every woman in the country
(, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:16, Reply)
That's why I've had sex with so few peopleI'm trying not to look too convincing
(, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:20, Reply)
Can't complainOne person has been good enough to have sex with me repeatedly for eight years
Not eight years solid, you understand. Sporadically
(, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:23, Reply)
There's apparently a video of him getting sucked off by a bloke as part of a MMF threesome.Probably just a rumour though.
(, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:24, Reply)
A bloke sucking you off doesn't make you a bumderEspecially if you've got your eyes closed
(, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:25, Reply)
I like the term bumderwell done
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:27,
Reply)
CheersTook a boat out on the broads with some mates the other day. Saw some people on the towpath and asked my mate Leigh what the riverside equivalent of Bus Wankers was. Without a moment's pause he yelled "MUD WANKERS!!!"
We then had to pootle past them at 4mph
(, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:28, Reply)
Cheryl looks like Lady from Lady and the TrampBut in a good way.
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 12:53,
Reply)
Luckily, I look much like Tramp from Lady and the TrampNot so much in a good way though
(, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:07, Reply)
AwwDo you and yer missus sit and have spaghetti and get serenaded?
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:08,
Reply)
Not a bad idea, thatCheers Roota. If it gets me laid I promise to give you the credit
(, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:10, Reply)
Less of the "little"Guaranteed pre-sex destiffener
I'll just let you contemplate that mental image for a minute
(, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:13, Reply)
I'd like to have a hate-threesome with her, Jordon and Maggy Thature.... and yes, 'three'some, with those three, eg, I'm not involved.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:13,
Reply)
« Go Back | Reply To This »