Happy Monday
Well, let's at least try, eh?

Tomorrow is my work Christmas do. (The pub, not the 'delicatessen'.)
This year I have not taken the next day off, as I am confident in my ability to be home by midnight only slightly inebriated.
I'm all about denial at the moment.

What ridiculous demands have you placed upon yourself recently?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 8:09, 92 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Christmas
In March?

WTF?

I don't make ridiculous demands of myself. Sometimes other people do. I have been known to ignore them.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 8:15, Reply)

^....^ What he said

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 8:26, Reply)

We have our reasons

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 8:32, Reply)

Is it because
of the lack of availability of three wise men and a virgin in Liverpool?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 8:34, Reply)

Yes
But we've found some now, so it's ok.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 8:38, Reply)

The benefits
of immigration, eh? :-)
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 8:40, Reply)

I have signed up for sport relief
And I'm not a runner at all. I hope in 3 weeks to be able to not die before the end of the mile.
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Mon 1 Mar 2010, 8:36, Reply)

Oh I'm so impressed!
I can't even manage the 4 minute run to work.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 8:39, Reply)

My running's pish
I have swum much further than I've ever run in my life. By a couple of orders of magnitude, I reckon!

I had to run about 3/4 of a mile to try to catch a train last year (which I missed by 3 seconds!) and it nearly killed me.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 8:42, Reply)

I could walk forever, and fast
but running just isn't in me.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 8:45, Reply)

Anyway, somebody running in Liverpool is bound to attract the bizzies.
Much better to walk.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 8:47, Reply)

I live in an area full of 'characters'
who would have no qualms about stopping you and going "Why are ya runnin love?"
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 8:58, Reply)

I woke up early so I could go in and do work for my 11am class
Looks like it MIGHT be cancelled. But I don't know. So I don't want to go back to sleep in case it's not, but I want to sleep.

ARGH
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 8:52, Reply)

Close you eyes and relax
You are feeling sleepy, feeling sleepy, let yourself drift off......
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 8:56, Reply)

Go a-bo-bo's
It's fine
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 8:57, Reply)

I've missed it twice in a row.
The teacher scares me.
I hate missing lectures...
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 8:59, Reply)

I assumed that you were giving the lecture.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 9:04, Reply)

Nup.
I'm a little-un, in a manner of speaking.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 9:06, Reply)

GET UP AND GO TO SCHOOL THEN
You lazy tyke.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 9:14, Reply)

Not that little!

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 9:17, Reply)

That I wouldn't go to Milan and Turin
next week to watch us play Juventus. Within about an hour of telling myself that on Friday I had my flights booked. I then told myself afterwards that I wouldn't go out until said bender in Italy. I got home about five hours ago.

I have zero self control.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 8:54, Reply)

Have you only just got in from Friday?
Were you in that house of sin all this time?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 8:56, Reply)

Went out Saturday lunch time
left that after party yesterday around midday, made strides with you know who and am definitely moving into hers on Thursday. Still feel a bit shit about it all though. Worse than that though was that I got roped into going to our match against Sunderland because I was off my rocker. I spent the entire game yesterday in the concourse under the stand listening to Super Furry Animals on my MP3 player.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 9:06, Reply)

Has she dumped him yet?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 9:07, Reply)

Nope
Got Lacey texting and calling non stop as well, I fear my brain may melt I'm so confused.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 9:09, Reply)

I've told you Barry, I'll rip them off for her
And pour vinegar where they used to be.
And then I'll thump you as well.
Be careful.

You going to see Lacey for your birthday?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 9:12, Reply)

Nah, can't be arsed as I'm travelling all over the shop next week
Said when I next come up here from home I'll bring her along with me though. She won't stop talking about it. At the moment I'm staying well on the back foot though, not risking what happened last time again. Want to see how things with Jodie turn out anyway.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 9:19, Reply)

Your hoes are starting to sound simillar
I'd say there was more hope with Jodie than Lacey, if Jodie hurries up and sorts it out.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 9:24, Reply)

I now really am contemplating
going to Camp David in town and seeing where that leads me. Would potentially makes things a hell of a lot easier as all this nonsense is really, really getting me down.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 9:35, Reply)

Bring your aunty Roota
I'm a brilliant fruitfly
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 9:37, Reply)

SFA are amazing.
That is all.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 9:16, Reply)

Seconded

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 9:18, Reply)

I went to the pub last night
(you know where this is going).

To watch Rangers Vs Celtic as it was only on Sky. I ended up staying in the pub, slowly getting shitfaced and now I am the most hungover man at work in the country. Please help!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 9:16, Reply)

I've stopped getting so caned all the time.
Whilst not entirely ridiculous and I've not exactly demanded it of myself, it's saving me some money and I feel less bloated and slightly more 'with it' mentally due to more and better quality sleep.

Relative to normal people's levels of consumption mine is doubtless still ridiculously high but I feel like I've turned a bit of a corner.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 9:22, Reply)

Well done Mont!
That's super duper.

Did you have the bab the weekend?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 9:26, Reply)

That I did.
She's just superb. There are not words available in the English language to adequately describe the levels of cuteness displayed by her new dance, which involves clasping her hands in front of her and swaying from side to side whilst bobbing up and down.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 9:30, Reply)

Ace!
I just did that dance in order to understand it.
I need help. It was fun though.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 9:32, Reply)

It's a fucking great dance.
Glad you enjoyed it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 9:33, Reply)

Awesome mate!
glad you got to spend some time with her. I know that your ex hasnt made it easy for the past few weeks.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 9:35, Reply)

I feel ten million times more positive
when I've been able to see her. I seem to spend my life morosely waiting around for my next visit...

I realise this isn't healthy but I can't help it.

EDIT and thank you sir.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 9:37, Reply)

:D
What a lovely start to the week, nothing can po$$ibli go rong today
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 9:46, Reply)

Hahah, soe tru.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 9:51, Reply)

I promised myself I would not waste any more work hours on B3ta.
Much the same promise I make every Monday morning.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 1 Mar 2010, 9:28, Reply)

I ain't even left for work yet...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 9:32, Reply)

I've been here 30 mins
And so far I've made a cup of tea, bought a hubcap on ebay, and posted this. So well worth every penny of my salary.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 1 Mar 2010, 9:48, Reply)

Whoa there speedy, slow down
you're making the rest of us look bad
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 9:51, Reply)

I chuckled for some reason
MY HANGOVER. OWWWWWWW
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 9:54, Reply)

I feel your pain
It's a beautiful thing to wake up without a hangover, but to appreciate that beauty one has to have the occasional bastard of a hangover.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:06, Reply)

ridiculous demands?
it's all i can do to get up, get dressed and go to work (I aim for at least 2 out of 3).
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 9:48, Reply)

Likewise
I've managed that much this morning...after all that effort, I feel I deserve the rest of the day off.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:04, Reply)

Is your sig
a Blow Monkeys reference?

:)
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 9:51, Reply)

Surely there is no doubt of this?
Christ they were shit.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 9:52, Reply)

Worse than Bowie?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 9:57, Reply)

Nowhere near
But this may be because they are such a piddly little insignificant footnote in music history they don't irritate me too much.

I remember their singer, the self-styled Dr Robert (as much of a doctor as "doctors" McKeith & Fox) wore one of the gayest jumpers of all time on Top of The Pops.

How are you, anyway, sir?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:02, Reply)

I'm pretty good thanks,
it was great meeting you the other night, I spent a good fifteen minutes groaning on the toilets at 5.30am the next day before setting off on my drive to Brighton. But it was just so worth it.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:05, Reply)

Likewise
On both counts, sadly. How can something feel so good on the way in, yet so awfully bad on the way out?

I read on the weekend that your mates Heaven & Hell are booked to play at Classic Rock mag's do in Victoria Park in the summer. Mind you, so are Emerson, Lake and fucking Palmer...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:07, Reply)

Yeah, I'm going to be on my honeymoon then or I'd go along
at least, I'd go and see ZZ Top again, and Heaven and Hell, but I think I'd give ELP a miss. I find their works to be a trifle on the self indulgent side.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:10, Reply)

Sounds like a fair excuse for missing it...
I think I'll go, just because it's walking distance from my house.

And because I'd like to fulfil a lifetime ambition to sling a sock filled with shit at ELP. I must remember to go to Tayyabs the night before.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:13, Reply)

If you went to the Tayyabs teh night before
you would need to put a plastic bag in the sock first to stop it all leaking out.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:15, Reply)

Good thinking.
Then I could just puncture the bag immediately before slinging it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:17, Reply)

No, leave it sealed
Allow it to ferment. The gassy build-up will keep it rigid, improving its aerodynamics as it flies through the air, and it will burst over them with that much more shitty fury.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:21, Reply)

Got to take the rough with the smooth I guess
(This is the same Heaven & Hell that is basically Dio-era Sabbath, isn't it?)

Great meeting you both last week, by the way.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:12, Reply)

That's the chaps.
I had a great time, thanks for coming. Must do it again soon.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:14, Reply)

Definitley
and we should book a table again, I really liked turning up and sitting down within five minutes. I took some other b3tans there once and we queued for two hours.

Still worth it though.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:16, Reply)

Definitely.
The queues by the time we left were fucking ridiculous. And it was a horrible wet night out, too.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:19, Reply)

I reckon we could have auctioned that leftover lamb rib to the people right at the back of the queue

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:22, Reply)

By the time I had got to the tube station
I really wish I had taken that with me.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:24, Reply)

I know what you mean
I was strangely peckish when I got home, and absolutely ravenous the following morning. This may just be because the spicy chimera dissolved everything else in my stomach and dragged it with it as it grumbled into my intestinal tract.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:31, Reply)

That is inspired.
We could have started a riot with the last of the Karahi Chicken...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:24, Reply)

"Roll up, roll up,
It looks like chicken but is BRIGHT ORANGE. Any starters for five quid or two bottles of beer?"
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:30, Reply)

That they were.
There you go.


I've assumed Roota is the feminine form of Rooter.
Whatever that is.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 1 Mar 2010, 9:57, Reply)

It's Australian.
*Sniggers childishly*
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:01, Reply)

My Roota does not mean that.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:14, Reply)

Pfft
And fie. You WOULD say that.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:40, Reply)

I've got that song going around my head now...
It's a mixed blessing.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:01, Reply)

Top marks
MONTY SHUT UP!
Digging Your Scene makes me feel all fizzy and reminds me of the best Saturday mornings when my mum was cleaning up and me and my dad were watching Saturday Superstore.

And it is a lovely having-a-crush song like Oblivious by Aztec Camera.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:11, Reply)

Come on Roots, they were fucking terrible.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:16, Reply)

Depends on how you define 'terrible'.
That one song alone made me happy when I was a kid, and I'm a big fan of teh pop.
I always get my groove on to the Blow Monkeys and have two songs on my mp3 player.

If you asked me were they credible, or was Dr Robert a massive tit, I'd probably agree with you in my answers. But as for thinking "Oh no, this is terrible!" when I hear Digging Your Scene, we'd have to diasagree.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:19, Reply)

Fair enough.
There are songs from my youth that I love for nostalgia reasons that are otherwise pretty indefensible (Doug E Fresh's 'The Show', and Van Halen's 'Jump' spring to mind)....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:23, Reply)

Jump is a superb song
Especially if you picture Eddie Van Halen doing his keyboard solo as you listen to it.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:25, Reply)

I played it last time I DJed in the Griffin in Shoreditch
People thought I was being ironic*. Dave Lee Roth is a spastic though isn't he?



*They also thought this when I played the Monkey Magic theme tune, and were similarly wrong.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:27, Reply)

I have to admit...
... it's not nearly so bad as Monty suggests.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:24, Reply)

If you have a penchant for insipid,
white-boy pop/soul then you are doubtless correct.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:25, Reply)

What abooout...
if the baby did her swaying bobbing dance to it?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:27, Reply)

I'd give her a thick ear
and there's be no 'In the Night Garden' that night, believe me.

I have some ace video footage of her getting down to 'Back in Black'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:28, Reply)

Haha
That made me laugh
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:30, Reply)

Spare the rod, spoil the child.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:31, Reply)

As somebody who has been dragged along the floor of the Arndale Centre by her hair
and has subsequently tunred out perfect, I shall reluctantly agree with this.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:34, Reply)

I can't think of anywhere I would rather be dragged by my hair

(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:39, Reply)

I can

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:41, Reply)

You're thinking of my bedroom aren't you

(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:46, Reply)

It was a bedroom
It wasn't yours.
Yours is for bumming on.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:51, Reply)