I went to the Flying Handbag in Blackpool on Saturday night
It was camp as tits. More so, even, than the Ballroom dancing competition that took me to Blackpool in the first place. What preposterously flamboyant activities have you engaged in recently?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:16, 68 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I played Monopoly last night.
I drank wine.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:17, Reply)

That's a pretty flamboyant choice of drink for playing Monopoly
But the clincher is this - which version of Monopoly was it?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:18, Reply)

It was Spiderman Monopoly.
A totally different game.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:20, Reply)

Not THAT flamboyant
If it had been, for example, Barrowman Monopoly I'd have deferred to your superior gayness of activity in a heartbeat
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:22, Reply)

There was a very very minor internet celebrity there though.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:19, Reply)

Tay Zonday?

(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:20, Reply)

Nah, some chick who used to present a TV show on cable about the internet.
I'm not going to mention her name because I am certain she googles her name daily.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:23, Reply)

I tried to watch an episode of Glee
People get breaking into song which forced me to turn over to something else. By the time I'd turned back I'd missed bits of the episode.

It's 100% show for shirters. Which despite wearing an Erasure necklace, I am not.
( djtrialprice, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:51, Reply)

This is a lie and you know it.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:53, Reply)

Your fiancé is a beard
and I know it
( djtrialprice, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 10:55, Reply)

you'd have a different opinion if they'd broken into
OOOOOOOH SOMETIIIIMES.
(My uncle did the dance from that yesterday, pretending to get stuck in the washing line)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 11:00, Reply)

I think they played that in the Flying Handbag
The DJ in there is a trannie. It's awesome
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 11:02, Reply)

I don't know the names of all the places we visited on our Gay Blackpool crawl
But I did insist we went into Our Lady's social club along the way.
My mates won the bingo and I sang Patsy Cline songs with a nice family of wools.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 11:07, Reply)

A Gay Blackpool crawl
That's genius. I'd insist on the same, taking in Funny Girls and the Flamingo along the way, except I live 300 miles away and it'd be difficult to organise
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 11:20, Reply)

We were on a big gay bus
for a birthday.
One of those nights that was amazing but that I'd rather not repeat.
We met a trannie whose wig was exactly my hairstyle. People were calling us twinnies all night.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 11:30, Reply)

That sounds like the most surreal way to get drunk imaginable
Last time I was in the Flamingo I had to rely on my Pet Gay to run interference for me by kissing the face off a couple of the other punters. Gay men love me for some reason.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 11:36, Reply)

In today's Metro
it's described as 'the gayest show on TV'.

The 20-odd seconds I was able to endure it for gave me no reason whatsoever to dispute that statement.

Simply horrible.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 11:06, Reply)

Dancing on Ice is gayer

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 11:17, Reply)

there are many gayer shoes
queer as folk, any dancing or singing competition, that queer eye wank, will and grace etc.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 11:19, Reply)

and slingbacks

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 11:20, Reply)

And anything by Manolo
If it was endorsed on Sex and the City, it's gay. Fact.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Shoes?
Stop thinking about shoes you metrosexual.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 11:32, Reply)

'Metrosexual'
sounds like someone who wanks into free newspapers.

And ironically, the reality is far more horrific...
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 11:40, Reply)

^this
*applause*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 12:06, Reply)

"I'm not homophobic
I just fucking hate musical theatre."
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 11:28, Reply)

Other than getting drunk and snogging the boys?
Umm...
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Mon 1 Mar 2010, 11:41, Reply)

Yes. Other than that.
We're after flamboyance here. The drinking and snogging may have been conducted in a thoroughly masculine fashion for all we know
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 11:48, Reply)

It was as masculine as boy-on-boy snogging gets...
I didn't cup anyone's balls...
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Mon 1 Mar 2010, 11:51, Reply)

Colonel, I'm reading that in Herr Lipp's voice

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 11:50, Reply)

I'M reading it Herr Flick's voice...
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Mon 1 Mar 2010, 11:52, Reply)

Helga you mean!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 11:53, Reply)

You can be Helga.
I've actually just bought a 1940's Herr Flick style German WW2 uniform for a party I'm off to...

/Prince Harry
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Mon 1 Mar 2010, 11:55, Reply)

I'm going to a fancy dress party as St Jude Thaddeus in a few weeks

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 11:56, Reply)

I hope you have a convincing beard...

(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Mon 1 Mar 2010, 11:57, Reply)

it'll be rubbish
but so will my whole costume
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 12:01, Reply)

OMG
are you going to the party I think you're going to!?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 12:02, Reply)

Yup
I need to ask the hosts if they could nip to their local chandlers and get me a mop pole for my staff as I can't carry one on the train. Think they will? There's one right on their high street.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 12:04, Reply)

I'm sure they would do anything to keep you happy
I'm getting an extra big bag of frazzles in anticipation.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 12:07, Reply)

As Nana always says...
"There are no pockets in a shroud"
I won't have pockets, luv!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 12:08, Reply)

Bumbag!!
I have a home-made Fred Flintstone costume which is not much more than a furry smock.

I've found a bumbag sits comfortably underneath and give me ample storage for my lubes and dildos wallet and phone.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Mon 1 Mar 2010, 12:13, Reply)

Won't work
St Jude would not have had a bum bag.
It'll have to be my German army satchel instead.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 12:17, Reply)

Actually, now you mention it,
he did have a genuine WW2 army satchel didn't he?
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Mon 1 Mar 2010, 12:18, Reply)

He did
With a picture of himself inside.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 12:25, Reply)

I shall be lifting the shroud
and applying the frazzles directly to your buttocks in that case. Although my mrs may have something to say about that.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 12:17, Reply)

Mmmm...
Bacon crisps rubbed on my little botty?

What a treat!
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Mon 1 Mar 2010, 12:19, Reply)

Ah, Mrs Al...
You mean the other half of this outfit?
cyanatrendland.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/katy-perry-two-face-outfit.jpg

I know she's not real.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 12:21, Reply)

I just turn sideways and talk to you out of the other side of my mouth.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 12:33, Reply)

I knew it
*falsetto*
"Albert, stop sticking Frazzles up that scouse whooer's bum!"
*turns, lowers voice*
"Sorry darling, she made me do it."
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 12:35, Reply)

You think that's camp?
Try going to Flamingos or Funny Girls (both in Blackpool). Ended up in Flamingos twice thanks to my girlfriend. All I can say is I'm glad I had her to hold on to and I made sure I kept my back to a wall.

Edit: I notice you have already mentioned these places
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 11:56, Reply)

Gosh, you sound like an thoroughly enlightened, modern chap.

(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Mon 1 Mar 2010, 11:58, Reply)

You do have to watch out for drive-by bummings
They're very common
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 11:59, Reply)

There's nothing that one of the gays likes more than to engage in anal rape with unsuspecting heterosexual men

(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 12:03, Reply)

In the middle of a nightclub
in front of their girlfriends
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 12:04, Reply)

That just gets them even more excited

(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 12:08, Reply)

I always drag an unsuspecting female with me to gay clubs
so when I get unexpectedly anally raped, I have an extra level of humiliation in front of said lady.

It's the only reason I go.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Mon 1 Mar 2010, 12:09, Reply)

Surely if these allegations about men in gay clubs are true
Their Gaydar would allow them to detect that this woman was not your girlfriend, and you were a dirty fraud
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 12:16, Reply)

You'd think.

(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Mon 1 Mar 2010, 12:17, Reply)

They probably do know she's not your girlfriend
but they do so love the SURPRISE bumming that they can't help themselves.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 12:18, Reply)

Nohing quite like a stealthy dry bumming.

(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Mon 1 Mar 2010, 12:20, Reply)

My girlfriend calls me gay
so maybe I am hiding something :|
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 13:08, Reply)

My experience of the Flamingo
was bloody brilliant actually - I've always had a really good time there. I'm capable of being immensely camp and sometimes it's nice to act up and not worry about having my McCoy's taken away for not being man-ish enough. And as a general rule gay men are no more likely to enforce bumming than women are.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 12:05, Reply)

This is clearly not true
see my comment above.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 12:08, Reply)

Is your claim based on any scientific research?
It'd be brilliant to get a grant for that.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 12:09, Reply)

You can get them but the only lend you pink pounds.
I've found it difficult to get people to accept them in normal shops as legal tender.

/Jokes about Tender/Pounding/Stuggling to get people to 'accept'
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Mon 1 Mar 2010, 12:11, Reply)

You get points
for taking care of every possible comeback in one post

Hehe... comeback
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 12:15, Reply)

I can't do that unless you turn around...

(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Mon 1 Mar 2010, 12:16, Reply)

Congratulations
You're the first person to offer me sex on B3ta. I don't care if you were kidding. My fragile ego needs the boost
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 12:24, Reply)

They like to do that too
since they all go bareback to help spread the AIDZ better.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 12:16, Reply)