I'm looking for a really good horror film that messes with my head
Seen for too many overly gory films that have no really scary plotline or good jumpy moments.

I think the last three films that really stick in my mind as sort of doing something for my lust for fear were Drag Me To Hell, Quarantine and Gothika.

Can anyone recommend me some good scary/jumpy films? (Ideally post 1999 cos older horror films seem a bit crappy to me)
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:08, 106 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Waterworld
Babe
I am legend.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:11, Reply)

Or
Wet
Ham
Man
(PsychoChomp, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:12, Reply)

Don't think Babe is a horror film, unless you're scared of talking animals
and that pun on my user name has been done to death. I used to have "AKA WetHamMan" on the end of it ;)
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:14, Reply)

You should have it there now
along with a picture of some wet ham
(Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:15, Reply)

I like this

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:14, Reply)

I lost it a bit for the third one...
I couldn't think of a MAN film.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:17, Reply)

Orphan is ok, some people have said the twist is obvious but I was way off...
Pan's Labarynth is brilliant if you haven't seen it.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:13, Reply)

I watched Triangle last night
It was quite good, slightly disturbing, I wish I hadn't known the end before I saw it, bloody internet spoilers.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:15, Reply)

The plotlines were a bit ridiculous, but on the whole I agree it's aged well

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:21, Reply)

Aged well?
It's only just come out on DVD?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:23, Reply)

Triangle was a BBC television soap opera in the early 1980s, set aboard a North Sea ferry which sailed a triangular route between Felixstowe, Amsterdam and Gothenburg. The series ran for three seasons before being cancelled, but is still generally remembered as "some of the most mockable British television ever produced". The scripts involved clichéd relationships and stilted dialogue, making the show the butt of several jokes (particularly on Terry Wogan's morning Radio 2 programme) which caused some embarrassment to the BBC.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:23, Reply)

That's some topical comedy right there.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:27, Reply)

IT'S ONLY JUST COME OUT ON DVD, YEAH?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:29, Reply)

A possible source of inspiration for "The Bureau" as featured in The Day Today?

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 14:42, Reply)

Seen orphan and I did like it. More of a thriller that a horror though
What's Pan's Labarynth like? I though it was a kids film?
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:15, Reply)

it's probably too complicated and weird for kids
it's not a horror particularly
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:18, Reply)

The Orphanage
is fricking brilliant. Really creepy, but not a nasty ending.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:19, Reply)

I don't much care for horror films
other than zombies and vampires, and aliens
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:23, Reply)

The Dawn of the Dead remake is really good

(Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:23, Reply)

Indeed it is
Nearly all the "of the Dead" remakes and recently made ones are good
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:28, Reply)

No they are most certainly not
Day of the Dead remake - utter crap
Land of the Dead - Passable, worth watching but only just
Diary of the Dead - Crap, really crap. Watch [rec] instead.
Survival of the Dead - I skimmed through it last night and it doesn't appear to have any friggin zombies in it. Looks shite.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:30, Reply)

I concur Dawn of the Dead remake is good zombie fun! :D

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:36, Reply)

I am planning on making a film called
Afternoon Tea with the Dead
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:37, Reply)

Will they have crumpets?
Oh and one of them must be called Rupert.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:40, Reply)

The dead have no manners
the mere idea of this offends my sensibilities
(Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:42, Reply)

Awww
Your poor sensibilities.

*hands over a kitten*
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:45, Reply)

*eats kitten*
*with a knife and fork*
*uses serviette to gently dab lips*
(Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:48, Reply)

One less kitten in the world.

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:50, Reply)

'serviette'
is in my top three most hated words in the whole world.

It's up there with 'toilet' and 'lounge'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:56, Reply)

what's wrong with toilet?
I supposed you call it the Double-you See.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 14:05, Reply)

He calls it the corner of the restaurant.
Or sometimes, if he's feeling lazy, his pants.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 14:05, Reply)

I call it 'Al's bike seat'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 14:15, Reply)

I call it the lavatory

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 14:14, Reply)

I dispense with that nonsense
by saying I'm going to ride the porcelain bus
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 14:20, Reply)

In reality
I announce at the top of my voice 'I'M JUST OFF TO STRANGLE A DARKIE'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 14:23, Reply)

I just throw a brick at the face of the person next to me
then walk away from the resulting confusion.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 14:25, Reply)

I haven't seen that yet
I should do so

last one I watched was Dead Snow, which was awesome
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:28, Reply)

I enjoyed that one

(Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:31, Reply)

Dead Snow was bloody hilarious
Loved every minute of it. Not scary at all but had me in stitches
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:31, Reply)

Oooh I have this on my laptop now
I can’t wait to watch it! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:36, Reply)

Put some wet ham
in your dvd player. It's really terrifying.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:13, Reply)

*chortle*
Like 'The Ring' but 'The Gammon Steak'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:16, Reply)

i could use a ring of pineapple
That quite often goes on ham
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:32, Reply)

Thinking on your feet, Hammers, I like it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:33, Reply)

I'm going to have to take objection to the last part of your post
and insist you go and re-watch Alien, The Exorcist and Nosferatu
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:16, Reply)

I did like the Exorcist
but I thought the scariest bit was in the hospital with the big machines rather than the demonic possession.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:18, Reply)

I find the older horror films special effects let them down
They're too much like what you'd expect to see on a ghost train at a funfair
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:20, Reply)

In which case I'd second Darth's suggestion of rewatching Alien
(Just the first one, mind) The special effects are kept to a minimum, and it does build a wonderfully threatening atmosphere out of everything you can't see.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 14:46, Reply)

Hey man - what about this:

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:18, Reply)

Stop posting pictures of his mum on the internet

(Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:18, Reply)

oh Monty
you're such a card
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:18, Reply)

Incorrigible, aren't I?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:28, Reply)

a rogue

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:37, Reply)

The Uninvited
I'm not a scary movie girl and it was VERY good to me. Lots of jumps, nothing too gory.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:19, Reply)

Oh yea!
That was a good film! Did not see teh twist coming at all. Now you mention that I remember I also enjoyed Mirrors despite my mates coming out of the cinema saying it was shit
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:26, Reply)

Last House on the Left was alright
the very end was shit though

I don't watch horror films because I'm a massive scaredy cat.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:31, Reply)

Hated the rape scene
I felt wrong just even watching it
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:41, Reply)

watching it cracking one off to it whilst crying and screaming the Lord's Prayer.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:46, Reply)

it made me cry

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:51, Reply)

It made me cry tears of man-milk
from my 'Eye of Hirohito'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:55, Reply)

Oh man, that is amazing.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 14:30, Reply)

I'm rather proud of myself, I must confess.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 14:36, Reply)

massive scaredy cool

+ with my new tats and bling and all dat.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:42, Reply)

aw shit son
I'm thinking of getting a piercing soon
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:52, Reply)

Get one through your temples.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 14:03, Reply)

oh man that would be WICKED

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 14:14, Reply)

Two massive steel balls
one dangling from each side of your head.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 14:15, Reply)

People might think she was a bit teste

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 14:47, Reply)

Audition
also Oldboy (the best of the three vengeance films) and the Host for horror / big monster movies at their best
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:21, Reply)

He just wants to watch some films
not fucking star in them ffs
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:23, Reply)

you wouldn't
want to audition for this one, starts off as a fluffy love story but the last half hour had me cringing and almost eating my fist
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:25, Reply)

I know the film in question - it's a favourite of my somewhat twisted brother
as is Tokyo Gore Police referred to below.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:27, Reply)

does that make me
somewhat twisted by association?
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:29, Reply)

Yes, I'm rather afraid it does.
But in a nice way, I'm sure.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:31, Reply)

Watch The Thing
it's fucking brilliant
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:23, Reply)

Especially when his arms get
bitten off while doing CPR
(Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:31, Reply)

This ^
80's though. Am still slightly concerned that something like Alien wouldn't scare you because the effects look dated. It's all about the tension and atmosphere and the subtext
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:34, Reply)

Tokyo Gore Police

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:26, Reply)

The Tetsuo films are good.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:32, Reply)

hahah
and you call me twisted, they are fucking bonkers films!
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:40, Reply)

Really fucked up aren't they?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:43, Reply)

Hell yes, the turning into a tank in the second film was hilarious
apparently the Dead or Alive films by Takeshi Miike are supposed to be up there as well
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:46, Reply)

Excellent - really appreciate the tip

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:47, Reply)

put it this way
The tagline on imdb says the following

"WARNING: This motion picture contains explicit portrayals of violence; sex; violent sex; sexual violence; clowns and violent scenes of violent excess, which are definitely not suitable for all audiences."
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:52, Reply)

well THANK GOD they warned us about the clowns, eh?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:53, Reply)

yep
fuck the sexual deviance, there is a FUCKING CLOWN IN IT!!
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:57, Reply)

Wrong Turn is good old fashioned mutant fun
and Creep is a decent horror, its fast and jumpy with some gore thrown in for good measure.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:39, Reply)

Ooooo, yeah I liked Creep
The bit when they find the survivor but don't realise she's alive so they leave her behind and then he does all the surgical prep actions and I didn't like that scene.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:44, Reply)

That bit is grim
I particularly dislike the part where he puts on the rubber gloves and pretends to wash his hands like he’s preparing for surgery… freaky! :S
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:47, Reply)

Radiohead are overrated, so are TLC.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:47, Reply)

It's like someone gave Bob Monkhouse a keyboard
and resurected him.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:50, Reply)

I was thinking the same thing.
Spooky.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:51, Reply)

Wow, we should totally be BFFs and do BFF pinky promises and braid each others hair and stuff.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:52, Reply)

Like, totally!
*secret handshakes*
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:56, Reply)

I'm buying special hair beads for the party now

(Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 14:05, Reply)

I can’t wait!

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 16 Mar 2010, 14:11, Reply)

Sometimes, right, I'm SO FUNNY, yeah,
that I poo myself a little bit.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:54, Reply)

They never come back as good.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:58, Reply)

Which other resurrected comediens have disappointed you recently?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 14:00, Reply)

Jim Davidson
and I killed him especially
(Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 14:03, Reply)

thank fuck for that

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 14:05, Reply)

someone should start a new thread.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 14:38, Reply)

I agree

(Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 14:38, Reply)

I'd go for
The Orphanage or Let the Right One In.

Or - if you've not seen it - Audition, which isn't really a horror as such, but is still full of YEARGHHH.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 15:01, Reply)

I'm sorry,
but Drag Me to Hell was one of the worst films I have ever seen.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 15:02, Reply)

I'll go through this when i get home and check out your suggestions
then order the ones I like the look of from LoveFilm.

Prepare for me telling you that your suggestions were shit in about a months time ;)
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 15:27, Reply)