I've properly fucked my neck up
I can't turn it left or right without shooting pain. What should I do?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 15:32, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Get a massage
Or a percussion action massager from John Lewis.
I've never looked back, and nor will you if you don't get your Gregory sorted out.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 15:33, Reply)

Don't turn it left or right for a while.
Oh! chompy hasn't gone yet has he.
( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 15:33, Reply)

I was thinking of joining the catholic church
and becoming King
(Bazongaloid, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 15:38, Reply)

Backflips.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 15:33, Reply)

See also: what are you talking about, you don't have a neck any more you chubber.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 15:35, Reply)

I hope this gets onto the popular page
But you are going to have to do a lot more to top the Cadburys Creme al.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 15:39, Reply)

Beating the Cadbury's Creme Al would require some sort of talent, which I sadly lack.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 15:42, Reply)

It also sounds like a horrible euphemism

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 15:45, Reply)

Move your head very quickly left and right and with great force.
If you don't die you'll be fine.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 15 Apr 2010, 15:35, Reply)

pretend to be a robot
or tie a pillow round your neck
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 15:36, Reply)

I was thinking of getting one of those pillows you microwave to make them hot
and then wrapping it round my neck
(Bazongaloid, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 15:37, Reply)

I think they're wheatgerm ones
and it would be quite soothing. But even a normal pillow will work if you're planning on staying home. Use a dressing gown cord to tie it loosely so it's like a massive partial ruff. A bit of support and comfort
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 15:40, Reply)

Can you touch your chin to you chest?
if you can just rest and alternate hot and cold towels.
If you can't go to the doctors.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 15:37, Reply)

I can but it's a bit sore
I think I've just pulled a muscle, I slept in a funny position last night. Thank you for your advice.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 15:38, Reply)

If you develop a bruise or rash on your neck it's worth seeking medical advice.
It's probably nothing but there's quite a few serious things that start as severe neck pain.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 15:43, Reply)

Yes. He should consult his physician
Can I come to the opera with you?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 15:44, Reply)

You're confusing me.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 15:46, Reply)

There there

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 15:54, Reply)

I'm assuming that it's a what do you know about neck pain kind of thing.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 15:56, Reply)

My nana reckons you put warm olive oil on a tight or a stocking and knot it round your neck

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 15:39, Reply)

Wouldn't that seep everywhere
in a seepy manner?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 15:43, Reply)

Yeah it does.
That's why you wear one of your uncle's old t-shirts and sit on a deckchair in the living room.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 15:45, Reply)

'Mental', mental picture

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 15:48, Reply)

oh the thought of olive oil seeping into my hair
is making me feel all funny and not in a good way!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 15:50, Reply)

Didn't your mum ever olive oil your scalp
and put you to bed with a headscarf and an old pillowcase?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 15:54, Reply)

No, why would she do that?

I don't need marinading!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 15:55, Reply)

yes
I hated that as a child, it was so slippery
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 15:55, Reply)

What is wrong with you people?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 15:56, Reply)

Your mum didn't love you

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 15:57, Reply)

Daddy loved me enough for both of them

Seriously though, why put olive oil on your head, nits? Dandruff? Scabies?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 16:00, Reply)

to keep the scalp soft

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 16:02, Reply)

Why would you want/need a soft scalp?

this is all very confusing
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 16:04, Reply)

this whole subthread is really weird
fucking northerners
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 16:06, Reply)

Londoner here
and my mother did it. Shortly before shoving me in the oven of course to serve to all her yuppie friends
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 16:07, Reply)

Ha!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 17:27, Reply)

But it was very good for your scalp
And the scarf was well retro
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 15:56, Reply)

trufax definitely
Though I was white blond so nothing ever made my hair really shiny
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 16:02, Reply)

stick on some tights-wearing, widdling 'heavy metal'
and 'head-bang' yourself back to full health.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 15:40, Reply)

You should do a DVD.
Headbanging for health by Monty Boyce.
( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 15:50, Reply)

'Rock Yourself Fit' with Dr Montgomery Boyce

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 15:58, Reply)

Get a swivel chair

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 15:41, Reply)

If you've just twinged something have a big gay bubble bath
and then try and sleep it off.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 15:51, Reply)