SCORN.
I was invited to dinner last night by some lovely, lovely friends of mine (vegetarians, who had sought out some cracking pork & chili sausages for me, the little beauties). Lovely they are, but also naive, keen lefties - they insisted we watch the fucking tripartite political debate, despite my pleading with them that we might fall out over it.

Two bottles of wine and a couple of beers down, on it came and it was as bad as I'd feared from the off. As soon as the crass, US-style font hit the screen I was off, ranting and raving in a most ungentlemanly manner, I'm afraid. I predicted a tedious merry-go-round of meaningless buzzwords like 'family', 'future', 'change' etc, a liberal dose of 'carers' and 'heroes' blah blah fucking blah, and boy did we get them.

They'd all had 'body language' coaching and were gesturing and 'engaging' like those deaf translators that appear in the corner of the screen to tell you that you're up too late. Nowadays they've all been told that it's good form to concede that the others have some good ideas too, so there was a whole raft of 'I agree with Nick that...' etc, in a transparent attempt to appear even-handed and 'open to good ideas no matter where they come from'.

The whole sorry charade was a populist personality contest and the whole thing sickened me to my stomach. It was also tedious beyond belief and I want my Thursday night back, please.

Tosh, utter tosh and people wonder why I cannot be bothered with it all. I. DON'T. CARE.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 8:39, 73 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Me and the female watched this
although we did get pretty bored. We also commented on the body language training, the classic being and the one David Cameron was using all night was the "power" thumb on top of closed fist gesture. A lot of open "honest" gestures as well from all 3.

The stuff about the war was pretty pathetic as well, just a pandering match to see who could lick the rim of our "heroes and heroines" the deepest.

I thought Cameron came off pretty badly and Nick Clegg maybe the best.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 8:42, Reply)

Unfortunately
nowadays, its all style over substance, and the "ME! ME! ME! WHAT ABOUT ME?" culture means that politicians won't do or say anything in case 4 middle aged housewives from Berkshire are £3 a month worse off and spend hours screaming bloody murder about it on that cunt campbells radio 5 live phone in
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 8:43, Reply)

I love the Tom Cruise thumb thing they do
Completely futile. I agree.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 8:44, Reply)

I watched a little and got bored.
I found out the other day that my consituency is, (I forget the word), one that is closely fought over. This means I can't make a protest vote.
( girlinthehole, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 8:48, Reply)

You could go and curl one off on the Returning Officer's desk.
They'd probably see that as a protest vote.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 8:56, Reply)

ha!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:03, Reply)

Marginal

(PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:04, Reply)

Why can't you still do a protest vote?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:36, Reply)

Morning m'dear.
There must be a Loony party of some sort to protest vote for.

But don't be crying when the Tories have your seat in their grubby mitts - you have your chance.
Democracy - one day every five years.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:42, Reply)

I think the cat died

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:04, Reply)

I watched the first half-hour
and was soon bored. Maybe it says something about my attention span, maybe as much about the dire, uninteresting same-old-crap they were spouting. My interest in politics has followed an opposite curve to the modernisation and uprise of the tv-friendly pricks we have now.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 8:54, Reply)

I didn't watch it,
a b3tan did this though
yfrog.com/b8z4pj
(PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:04, Reply)

I didn't see it
but apparently Nick Clegg did the best and the experts said they thought he had really pushed the Lib Dems forward to have a fighting chance. However, this morning my bloke is getting mad because everyone in his office is saying there's no point voting for the Lib Dems as they'll never get in. BELM.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:04, Reply)

Well they'll never get in if you don't vote for them
as my mate was drunkenly singing down the street the other week.
Then realised he hadn't registered to vote so attempted to use the email phone in town to vote
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:12, Reply)

that annoys me
I found it particularly outrageous that we had some guff through the front door from our local labour candidate which had various testimonies from idiots on it. One of them was head of the Exeter Uni Lib Dem club (or whatever) saying that he was voting for the labour guy because the lib dem one is unlikely to get in.

unbelievable
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:18, Reply)

I'm currently in that position though
my seat is a pretty safe tory borough, the lib dems came third last time with 15%, Tories won with 45% and labour got 33%. So realistically the Lib Dems are not going to win, and by voting for them I assisting the Tories, and in particular the vacuous bint Therasa Villiers, to stay in power.

But I really can't bring myself to vote Labour.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:21, Reply)

mine is pretty solidly labour
yet they are trying to convince us that it is not the case.

I really can't make up my mind who to vote for. On the one hand the Greens want to legalise cannabis, on the other, homeopathy....
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:23, Reply)

If it's a solid Labout constituency
you can vote lib-dem without any qualms. If you want to vote Lib-Dem that is. As a student I was quite pleased that our borough went to the Lib Dems the first time I voted, and the second time I was living at my parents so I also got a Lib-Dem in.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:25, Reply)

I'm finding it hard to make up my mind who to vote for
from what I've seen the conservatives appear to have some quite good policies, but I am suspicious that a) they are lying and b) they wouldn't be able to carry them out anyway
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:28, Reply)

I want to vote Green because I like their policies the most
but I really, really, don't want Labour back in so I can't decide who to vote for because I'm not sure who is most likely to throw Labour off. I have a friend who teaches politics who's been paying close attention to the whole thing so I might ask him for advice.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:32, Reply)

I just couldn't vote for a party that gives any credit or thought to fucking homeopathy
there stance on anything else becomes irrelevant after that.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:44, Reply)

I think the good policies they have outweigh the bad
and I do think the placebo effect of homeopathy can sometimes help!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:11, Reply)

I don't think you need to be suspicious
they are lying and there is no way they can implement them. My issue with the Tories is that they say, if you work hard you can do well in a tory government. Which is true, but only if you start from a position of having stuff already, ifyou don't, you will forever be mired in shit for the whole of your life and you will blight the lives of your children and the cycle will continue.

I find the idea of theirs that if you aren't happy with your school you can set up your own disgraceful, you pay taxes in order for the government to provide schools, to run hospitals and to manage transport systems. I don't want to do it myself, but since these things do exist, they can clearly be run well and it's down to the government to ensure that they are run well everywhere. Surely not an impossible task?

Also the whole immigration cap bollocks really annoyed me.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:32, Reply)

Everything all of them ever says really annoys me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:45, Reply)

interesting points
the schools thing is weird, and very much smells of their whole "under us you will have the choice and the opportunity to run things the way you think they should be"

clearly a bad idea. most people couldn't organise their way out of a wet paper bag
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:45, Reply)

This is why I genuinely don't think democracy is that good an idea.
Ancient Athenian culture was ultimately undone by democracy - by the 4th and 3rd centuries BC demagogues would whip the populace up into knee-jerk stupid decisions which would then be reversed the next day by a different speaker with the opposite view. In the end nothing sensible ever got done and their society foundered.

Under strong leaders like Pericles they were a mighty force. 'The public' are fucking retards who do not know what's good for them.

This is why I am a committed Nazi.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:49, Reply)

It's like when they're allowed to vote for the 50 best albums ever
Retards.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:51, Reply)

or the best guitarist of the last 30 years

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:51, Reply)

Precisely.
I know best, everyone else is thick. WHY CAN'T EVERYONE SEE THIS?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:52, Reply)

Did you vote Bowie?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:14, Reply)

That's why we have a parliamentary democracy
so you choose people to govern for a set period, then if you don't like it you change it after that period, but you have to give them a chance. Dismissing Democracy on the basis of Athenian culture is a silly viewpoint. But I realise I'm taking the internet too seriously here so yeah, shoot the cunts. Shoot them right in the cock and bumhole.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:53, Reply)

I had to shoehorn ancient Athenian democracy in, I'm afraid.
I don't know anything about the modern world.

*cries*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:59, Reply)

You should be shot in the cock and the bumhole

(Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:01, Reply)

I agree.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:02, Reply)

Can I just add
that 'The Cock and Bumhole' would make a great name for a gay pub.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:08, Reply)

Yes you can

(Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:09, Reply)

Thanks Al, you're a gent.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:19, Reply)

First time I voted in the local elections, it was for my dad

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:28, Reply)

was he running?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:29, Reply)

No. I just made an extra box saying "My Dad" and crossed it.
Nah, he was running :)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:30, Reply)

...from the police?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:45, Reply)

down a dream

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:46, Reply)

I love that song

(Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:47, Reply)

me too
tom petty is great
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:47, Reply)

great insipid
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:51, Reply)

I reckon that now Journey
have had their critical resurgence it must be time for Tom Petty.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:47, Reply)

thing is
tom petty is actually really good, whereas journey are more of a novelty.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:51, Reply)

Fuck Off.
You clearly haven't listened to Escape in detail. It's a fantastic album and Steve Perry, for all that he resemble Paris Hilton with Downs Syndrome, is a truly fantastic singer.

Get Deparure, Evolution and Escape. Their three best albums.

Thing about Tom Petty is that after his first five albums or so (and his first solo album) he wasn't that good either.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:55, Reply)

thought that might enrage you
I hardly know their stuff at all.

the tom petty stuff with the travelling wilburys was great as well
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:56, Reply)

I've not heard that
that's the group with Bob Dylan and George Harrison in?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:57, Reply)

and roy orbison
they did 3 albums I think, maybe 4

the first two are great. there are a few weaker tracks, but on the whole it is very enjoyable stuff.

check out the song "Tweeter and the Monkey Man"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:00, Reply)

Christ what a dullard's convention....

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:02, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post699046
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:06, Reply)

so true

(Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:09, Reply)

Independent
They left the Labour Party in about 1991 I think, and went solo.
My dad eventually got in and so did a few others. In totally 'safe' Labour wards this was unbelievable.
But it turned out to be a load of shit and my dad didn't like the backbiting and corruption (bless 'im).
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:50, Reply)

back pillow

Your dads a disgusting homophobe like Vipros.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:51, Reply)

Cheeky cunt
My dad's well gay.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:52, Reply)

Your dad likes the queen more than me,

(Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:55, Reply)

He likes queens more than you
But not The Queen
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:58, Reply)

I watched bits of it
In between the program about the Natural History Museum and Have I Got News For You. I think if I'd watched it any more closely then David Cameron's insufferably smug face would have made me turn green and smash stuff, and my flatmate was getting irate just being in the same room as the transmitted image of Brown's maw.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:21, Reply)

Poor Gordon's gob
It looks broken. He has an asthma attack before every sentence.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:24, Reply)

For some reason it makes my flatmate apopleptic with rage
(But then Cameron has the same effect on me just by looking in my direction)
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:28, Reply)

Nick Clegg kept looking into the camera
which I thought I would find off putting, but I didn't, but when Cameron did, I wanted to punch the telly.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:33, Reply)

I can't stand that look of his
he looks like a retarded fish.

I can't stand looking at Darling either.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:28, Reply)

Thank you, Darling
*twitchy eye*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:31, Reply)

it is broken
he smashed it up playing rugby
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:34, Reply)

Monty, that rant is just delicious.
I love you, will you have my babies? I mean that in a most virtual, manly manner.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:51, Reply)

*blushes*
Why thank you, Porkles, old stick.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 9:54, Reply)

Credit where it's due.
I wish I were as erudite. Most political discussion sees me reduced to apoplectic rage. None of the bastards really care for the country (with a few notable exceptions).
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:15, Reply)

I don't either, I must confess.
I don't care for the human race on the whole. Bunch of cunts.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:20, Reply)

At least you admit it and don't steal my hard-earned (pfft) money.
BASTARDS! It has become a joke at home that my political views normally contract to this single word which is uttered frequently and with much venom whenever politicians BASTARDS appear on my tv.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:35, Reply)

Porkies Perspective.
My personal view is that no matter what Labour did during their term(s) it would all end in tears. I doubt this country will ever recover properly from the legacy of the Thatcher years. The Lib Dems are probably the only electable alternative this time round as the other two are much of a muchness and marginal parties are not worth bothering with as their policies are too entrenched in singular ruts.

Whatever happens, the electorate will get the government they deserve.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:14, Reply)

: a bunch of total cunts.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 10:21, Reply)