The eyes are crossed and the tees are dotted. I have signed on the dotted line.
As of the 1st of May I will be a man of leisure.
A househusband.
A kept man.
Retired, if you will, with sufficient income to not need to work again.
My wife thoroughly approves and she says it’s nice to see me smile properly again.

So, I will be bulk-buying croissants in the very near future.
And having raspberry conserve on them.
Or cheese and tomato.

What do you have on your croissants?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 23 Apr 2010, 8:35, 22 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

That most certainly is fucking spiffing tophole news
Congratulations sir. Also, just butter (if hot) or cheese and tuna melt
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 8:38, Reply)

By house husband, you mean able to spend all day on B3ta without being caught?
Butter and honey on the croisant please.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 8:42, Reply)

I gave the news to my son.
His reaction? "That's my wank schedule fucked then. How can I sit around wanking like a safari park chimp if you are going to be lolling around like a less than active sloth? Father, you really are an inconsiderate bastard. Can I have some of your money now, before you die?"

I am so proud.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 23 Apr 2010, 8:47, Reply)

Your not going to die of stress are you.
maybe you could run a regular Home Sweet Home thread. Every one would like that.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 8:53, Reply)

With really strong coffee con letch,
Amaretto biscuits, a brandy on the side and a small cigar.
I'll be able to do so from the back garden, if it is sunny.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 23 Apr 2010, 9:05, Reply)

Oh Lucky Man.
so it's all round to yours on the 1st then.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 23 Apr 2010, 8:47, Reply)

Sorry. Chimp time for the first week. It's the law.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 23 Apr 2010, 8:48, Reply)

Can't beat butter and jam on a croissant
Nothing better.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 8:47, Reply)

I don't bother with butter.
I slice the croissant and put the jam on then give them 4 minutes at 180⁰. Warm and crumbly. Then again I do have the all-butter croissants.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 23 Apr 2010, 8:50, Reply)

wow
I really fucking hate you right now.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 8:48, Reply)

Thank you.
It's nice to see someone else reacting as I used to. Keep the flag flying.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 23 Apr 2010, 8:56, Reply)

psh
all these people with their superficial congratulatory remarks, when really they want you to step on an upturned plug each morning.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 9:31, Reply)

Excellent stuff, you have my heartfelt congratulations.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 8:49, Reply)

congratulation bummings.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 8:57, Reply)

I am happy for you
*weeps*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 9:04, Reply)

Congratulations!
That's really good news. I hope you find enough in life to keep you entertained.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 9:17, Reply)

My wife is preparing a list : (

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 23 Apr 2010, 9:26, Reply)

I love how ever so slightly barbed that is

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 9:32, Reply)

Well done sir.
You'll be bored out of your skull by the end of the month.
( girlinthehole, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 9:35, Reply)

You really have no idea at how good I am at slothing.
I am so good I need to watch out for eagles.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 23 Apr 2010, 10:07, Reply)

Congratulations, you lucky bastard
And butter. Just butter is sufficient.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 10:13, Reply)

I have ham/salami/chorizo
and melted mature cheddar
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 10:15, Reply)