Right, it's a bit quiet in here today
And it's my birthday. Firstly, I want you to entertain me, and secondly you may wish to wish me well. Ready? Go.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 12:27, 49 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

*paints bottom blue*
Happy birthday.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 12:29, Reply)

Yours or his?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 13:55, Reply)

That is always the question
Whose would you prefer?
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 14:02, Reply)

Happy birthday!
Are you well old or in the first flush of youth?

I got a prank call at the weekend from someone claiming to be stuck up a pole and needing my help urgently.

At least, I think it was a prank call....
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 12:30, Reply)

I am getting less youth-ful now, reaching the ripe old age of 23 without dying yet
And were they 'stuck up a pole' in a dirty way, or like a flagpole?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 12:34, Reply)

She claimed to have tried pole dancing and got stuck
It was 6.20 A FUCKING M on Sunday though.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 12:44, Reply)

probably drunk
how can you get stuck up a pole? Surely you can just let yourself drop
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 12:47, Reply)

I told her she would have to stay stuck because I was going back to sleep
silly bint. I hate prank calls, especially unimaginative ones.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 12:49, Reply)

Nicely done
I woke up yesterday morning, then heard people wandering about so thought I should get up. Turned out there had been about 2 hours between these events though, so I finally got my lie in.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 12:53, Reply)

I've done that before
'I'll get up in ten minutes'.....*four hours later*
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 12:54, Reply)

I'm not generally that bad
But my 'lie in' on Friday when I'd finished my project saw me waking up at 7:30 and not being about to get back to sleep.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 12:57, Reply)

Fanny suction?

( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 12:50, Reply)

At no point in pole dancing
should you ever be mounted on the pole like a lolly.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 12:54, Reply)

A Chupa lolly
available from all good vending machines
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 13:08, Reply)

HBTY
*dances naked*

Sorry, you said 'entertain', not 'appal'.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 12:34, Reply)

Your tiny genitals are reasonably entertaining

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 12:35, Reply)

Thank you
They jiggle around nicely in the wind, I feel.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 12:37, Reply)

Also dances naked.
Hello? Over here! I'm dancing. Naked. Anyone?

Ah well.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 26 Apr 2010, 12:41, Reply)

is that your Indian name?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 12:44, Reply)

Nah. That's "Shames at the Thought"

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 26 Apr 2010, 12:57, Reply)

No it isn't.
It's 'Little Plum(s)' and well you know it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 13:00, Reply)

Fuck.
I thought you hadn't noticed. You were well out of it.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 26 Apr 2010, 15:23, Reply)

Happy Birthday
got anything planned?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 12:36, Reply)

Doing very little
And sorting out car insurance. That's about as far as my plans stretch. Pretty stressful, eh?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 12:38, Reply)

relatively relaxing at least

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 12:41, Reply)

Compared to everyone else on my course
All of whom are stressing over the big deadline in 2 days time, I think I'm very relaxed.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 12:43, Reply)

but you're older and shorter of breath and one day closer to death.
Happy birthday,

Love Eeyore.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 26 Apr 2010, 12:39, Reply)

I'm ok with all of these things
Except the shortness of breath, but that's mostly hayfever related.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 12:57, Reply)

Happy birthday to you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 12:57, Reply)

Cheers old chap

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 12:59, Reply)

Happy Birthday!
I remember when I was 23. I was just starting art school, full of hope and promise.
( girlinthehole, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 13:06, Reply)

....the latest craze of 'automobiling'
had just started, the horrors of WW1 were still years away and our glorious Queen Victoria was still on the throne…

*pegs it*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 13:19, Reply)

Did you know she didn't think lesbianism was possible.
Luckily for me at that time.
( girlinthehole, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 13:22, Reply)

You opened her eyes to a whole new world of erotic girl-on-girl excitement
Or so I've heard.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 13:25, Reply)

She wasn't my type.
I went for the young girls who used to dress up as soldiers and toute for business along the back of Picadilly gardens.
( girlinthehole, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 13:27, Reply)

I was going by the soubriquet ‘Jack The Ripper’ at that time. Happy days….

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 13:34, Reply)

You could have a bloody good night out on sixpence in those days.

( girlinthehole, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 13:43, Reply)

And still have change
for a ha'p'orth of chips on the way home.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 13:47, Reply)

‘I’ll catch you up in a minute, lads,
I’m just off for a quick slash’
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 13:47, Reply)

Bet you've got the DVD
of Tipping the Velvet...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 13:46, Reply)

No but I read the book and watched the TV series.

( girlinthehole, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 13:50, Reply)

have you read Fingersmith?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 14:04, Reply)

Good read , that. Maud and her nimble fingers.
Cracking old Victorian Lezzodrama.

'Nightwatch' had lasses in ( and inevitably, out) of uniform in the WW2.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 26 Apr 2010, 14:13, Reply)

I know they made it into a tv-show
seemed quite difficult to do so though given the change in POV half way through and subsequent reinterpretation of events
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 14:16, Reply)

I've read them all apart from the lastest one.

( girlinthehole, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 14:33, Reply)

*virtual cake*
Happy birthday!
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Mon 26 Apr 2010, 13:29, Reply)

Happy Birthday!

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 13:30, Reply)

Felicitations on your natal anniversary

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 13:59, Reply)

Does elephant impression.
Adjust trousers.
Happy birthday - have a Marathon bar.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 26 Apr 2010, 14:12, Reply)