i am really really fucking ill and i am NEVER ill
i sound like a cross between mariella frostrup and a 16 stone beardy ginger trucker called dave who smokes 80 marlboro reds a day and blows bears for breakfast.

and if i cough once more, i might well spit a lung onto my keyboard. my trainee, secretary and boss all hate me.

somebody do something! is there a cough syrup that people especially recommend??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:49, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hot toddy then bed.
Maybe eat some spicy food to clear your nose out.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:50, Reply)

what exactly goes in a hot toddy?
i have jack daniels, vodka, gin (retch) or limoncello. or pink rum. or bacardi. think that is it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:54, Reply)

Double jack daniels will do.
Juice of a lemon honey and top it up with boiling water.
Basically gets you pissed and gives you a sugar/vit c boost. It actually works.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:56, Reply)

this is the truth

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:22, Reply)

"Gin (retch)"!

you have massively droppped in my estimations; Gin is the greatest of all spirits!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:58, Reply)

Seconded!
Bombay Sapphire, tonic, and a slice of lime over ice... perfect!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:00, Reply)

Hendricks gin, Indian tonic, ice water and a slice of cucumber, with lime zest run around the rim of the glass

Also Gin Martinis, lemon twist.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:04, Reply)

Hendricks gin is lovely
Also, I love sloe gin.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:06, Reply)

Hendricks NOM NOM SLURP

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:07, Reply)

NOM NOM SLURP *broke*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:09, Reply)

*waits for jizz jokes*

( girlinthehole, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:51, Reply)

I have some cough linctus right here
*does not grab crotch, but instead gets Nirolex out of the drawer*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:52, Reply)

Tunes
then you will not only drive your colleagues mad with your coughing, but also the overpowering smell of cough sweets.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:54, Reply)

i have black halls soothers
they taste like a witch's arse but they do help. a bit. how is your chicken??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:55, Reply)

Charlie is very well
although I accidently splashed water over her this morning whilst refilling her drinking thingy. I found out that it is possible for a chicken to give you a dirty look.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:59, Reply)

aaaaah
don't they hate water? poor charlie!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:05, Reply)

Dirty looks are the only look a chicken can give.

( girlinthehole, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:09, Reply)

Apart from Chickenlady
She gave dirty looks of a different kind while groping my thigh!

Then Catface grabbed my cock.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:12, Reply)

You get all the fucking action.
*shaves head*
( girlinthehole, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:13, Reply)

Most of it's from Captain V though
He's like a corgi in heat.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:14, Reply)

so he can't getup the stairs with a hard-on

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:27, Reply)

And you will feel nauseous; Strepsils also make me feel sick

Try that Buttercup cough syrup, my mate swears by it. Also go home.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:55, Reply)

ach you sound like my boss
i can't, i would be seriously bored!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:56, Reply)

I know I always go to work unless I'm actually bleeding everywhere

Can you not work from home? Or I can recommend Inglorious basterds as a film to watch, it's very long so will keep you busy for some time.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:57, Reply)

there is a pun here somewhere
about women doing that all the time. but i won't make it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:05, Reply)

ha, not intentional, I just can't abide taking days off for illness unless it's life threatening/highly contageous

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:07, Reply)

Same
If I'm physically able to come into work without endangering others, then I will.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:12, Reply)