The weather's getting warmer, I'm getting thinner and even my boss is in a good mood.
What's changes in your life have you noticed recently?
( girlinthehole, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:36, 181 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I was hungry, but I ate a sandwich and now I'm not hungry
weird or what!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:40, Reply)

I'm tempted to go into a meeting at 1 just to have free sandwiches.
I don't need to go to the meeting.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:41, Reply)

It is hard to get that student, 'but it's free', part of your brain to go after leaving uni.

( girlinthehole, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:44, Reply)

NEVER pass up on free food!
Never!
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:45, Reply)

Would there be cheese and coleslaw sandwiches at the meeting?
They're my new (old) favourite
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:46, Reply)

I'm going to go and buy coleslaw RIGHT NOW

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:47, Reply)

Coleslaw is germanic spunk mixed with the devils cabbage

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:53, Reply)

I thought it was just shredded carrot, cabbage and mayonnaise.

( girlinthehole, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:54, Reply)

That's what they want you to think

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:59, Reply)

om nom nom

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:56, Reply)

THIS
It's horrible.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:07, Reply)

^ THIS
Oh my god, this. I thought I was the only one
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:08, Reply)

Hmmm maybe,
there's some mini samosas and what looks like satay chicken skewers as well.
buuuut, I don't have time I'll have to miss out on the food.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:47, Reply)

We have those in our meetings
Well, our clients do, and we get to fight for the leftovers. This is ACTUALLY TRUE, I've punched someone who was reaching for the last ham, cheese and mustard sandwich.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:49, Reply)

Are you going to try it when you're hungry again?

( girlinthehole, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:42, Reply)

Maybe, or I may experiment with some risotto

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:52, Reply)

Let me know how that goes.

( girlinthehole, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:55, Reply)

risotto is fucking awesome
I had one the other night with chicken, pureed roasted butternut squash and sweet potato mixed into it, flavoured with thyme and with slices of camembert spread over the top so it melted into it

fucking brilliant.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:21, Reply)

A certain boy is back in England again
And I don't know how I feel about it.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:43, Reply)

Try apathy.

( girlinthehole, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:44, Reply)

I'm trying, I just don't know if it's working.
I'll be seeing him soon at a mutual friend's birthday, so I guess I'll know then.

I'm going to enlist the help of all my infinitely more girly and beautiful flatmates to make me look as stunning as possible.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:53, Reply)

Tits out or don't even bother

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:55, Reply)

Pfft, goes without saying.
This is me we're talking about.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:00, Reply)

True dat
I don't know girls, or the intricacies of their seduction techniques, but being an absolute filth-monger in front of him is likely to work.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:02, Reply)

He's not my usual dirty, horny bastard,
He's very sweet and a little shy, so I may have to tone it down.
But I don't think the aim is to seduce him. Maybe just make him jealous, or realise what he lost?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:04, Reply)

Unfortunately some guys aren't that fussed about the packaging as long as you're living in the same postcode district.

( girlinthehole, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:07, Reply)

If this is an interesting euphemism I'm not sure I understand it.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:20, Reply)

Just having a dig at you know who again.
Take no notice.
( girlinthehole, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:21, Reply)

*winks*

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:24, Reply)

Ah
Then yes, looking stunning, being friendly-but-not-flirty with him, although with a slight lingering physical contact, will work a treat. Worked for me, my ex-now-current did the same and I craved her something chronic.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:09, Reply)

Excellent.
Excellent, excellent, excellent.
If of course, seduction is a side effect, I'm not going to turn him down, I just don't want to get my hopes up.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:14, Reply)

Sounds like you've got the right idea
You don't need my help.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:15, Reply)

You re-assured me that it may work.
Thank you.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:20, Reply)

I had my car broken in to at the weekend
Took the missus' handbag (she forgot to put it in the boot, but i don't blame her, just one of those things).

Now I have to spend up to £350 getting it all fixed. GASH.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:46, Reply)

Serves you right for living in the crime capital of England that is Leamington Spa.

( girlinthehole, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:49, Reply)

I don't even live there
I was only there to play frisbee golf!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:51, Reply)

When my car got broken into last year
everyone mocked me for calling the police and reporting it (smashed quarterlight, nothing missing) but it was the principle of the thing. Anyway, they got a fingerprint, got the guy responsible and charged him with that and a whole other load of car crimes. Justice. (It wasn't a Honda Accord though, it was a Clio.)
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:49, Reply)

Police were on scene when I got there
But as it was the weekend they couldn't get the Scenes of Crime guys over to take prints. I doubt the scroat will ever get caught.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:51, Reply)

There's a Honda Accord out there with his name on it.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:55, Reply)

There certainly is
I'm hoping that the courtesy car will be a Honda Accord.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:56, Reply)

I keep seeing Honda civics but no Honda accords.
I'm really pissed off about that.
( girlinthehole, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:57, Reply)

There's one by me
It's red, and has scratches on the bonnet.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:58, Reply)

scratches finger nail scrapings from where the perp was pinned against a wall and repeatadly beaten with bollards
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:01, Reply)

That's what I like to think.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:03, Reply)

If you were to change into some trousers made from that cotton material that has raised lines like 3d pinstripe
before commencing your Civic spotting then you'd at least have Honda an' cords.
(Cave Duck, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:06, Reply)

Christ that was like pulling teeth

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:07, Reply)

I'm fatter and broker than I've ever been.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:48, Reply)

The only way is up Monty.

( girlinthehole, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:51, Reply)

Hahaha
What an odd mental image this has conjured.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:25, Reply)

*joins queue*

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 17 May 2010, 13:40, Reply)

Maybe your lack of funds will result in you starving and losing weight

every cloud...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:51, Reply)

I thought you came into some money a few months ago?
fnarr fnarr
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:52, Reply)

TREASON!

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:54, Reply)

What? Defacing the Queen with creamy muck-muck?
it'll never stand up in court (fnarr fnarr)
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:01, Reply)

It could be
They might go soft on you if you confess.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:09, Reply)

spent it

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:26, Reply)

What, even as a zygote?
You must be broke. :(
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:54, Reply)

i am really really fucking ill and i am NEVER ill
i sound like a cross between mariella frostrup and a 16 stone beardy ginger trucker called dave who smokes 80 marlboro reds a day and blows bears for breakfast.

and if i cough once more, i might well spit a lung onto my keyboard. my trainee, secretary and boss all hate me.

somebody do something! is there a cough syrup that people especially recommend??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:49, Reply)

Hot toddy then bed.
Maybe eat some spicy food to clear your nose out.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:50, Reply)

what exactly goes in a hot toddy?
i have jack daniels, vodka, gin (retch) or limoncello. or pink rum. or bacardi. think that is it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:54, Reply)

Double jack daniels will do.
Juice of a lemon honey and top it up with boiling water.
Basically gets you pissed and gives you a sugar/vit c boost. It actually works.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:56, Reply)

this is the truth

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:22, Reply)

"Gin (retch)"!

you have massively droppped in my estimations; Gin is the greatest of all spirits!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:58, Reply)

Seconded!
Bombay Sapphire, tonic, and a slice of lime over ice... perfect!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:00, Reply)

Hendricks gin, Indian tonic, ice water and a slice of cucumber, with lime zest run around the rim of the glass

Also Gin Martinis, lemon twist.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:04, Reply)

Hendricks gin is lovely
Also, I love sloe gin.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:06, Reply)

Hendricks NOM NOM SLURP

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:07, Reply)

NOM NOM SLURP *broke*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:09, Reply)

*waits for jizz jokes*

( girlinthehole, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:51, Reply)

I have some cough linctus right here
*does not grab crotch, but instead gets Nirolex out of the drawer*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:52, Reply)

Tunes
then you will not only drive your colleagues mad with your coughing, but also the overpowering smell of cough sweets.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:54, Reply)

i have black halls soothers
they taste like a witch's arse but they do help. a bit. how is your chicken??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:55, Reply)

Charlie is very well
although I accidently splashed water over her this morning whilst refilling her drinking thingy. I found out that it is possible for a chicken to give you a dirty look.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:59, Reply)

aaaaah
don't they hate water? poor charlie!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:05, Reply)

Dirty looks are the only look a chicken can give.

( girlinthehole, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:09, Reply)

Apart from Chickenlady
She gave dirty looks of a different kind while groping my thigh!

Then Catface grabbed my cock.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:12, Reply)

You get all the fucking action.
*shaves head*
( girlinthehole, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:13, Reply)

Most of it's from Captain V though
He's like a corgi in heat.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:14, Reply)

so he can't getup the stairs with a hard-on

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:27, Reply)

And you will feel nauseous; Strepsils also make me feel sick

Try that Buttercup cough syrup, my mate swears by it. Also go home.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:55, Reply)

ach you sound like my boss
i can't, i would be seriously bored!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:56, Reply)

I know I always go to work unless I'm actually bleeding everywhere

Can you not work from home? Or I can recommend Inglorious basterds as a film to watch, it's very long so will keep you busy for some time.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:57, Reply)

there is a pun here somewhere
about women doing that all the time. but i won't make it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:05, Reply)

ha, not intentional, I just can't abide taking days off for illness unless it's life threatening/highly contageous

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:07, Reply)

Same
If I'm physically able to come into work without endangering others, then I will.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:12, Reply)

Apparently I've lost weight too
I don't believe this though.
I took my medication religiously for about 2 weeks, and I'm starting to drift off it again. I need someone to nag me to take it though :(
I'm feeling happier though. I'm excited to see a certain pole dancer some point in the near future, and excited for exams being over.
For the time being, I have Vogues and Lucozade.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:52, Reply)

FUCKING TAKE YOUR MEDS NUT JOB

(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:54, Reply)

Nice bedside manner there, early Shipman I believe

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:56, Reply)

Now text me that every morning.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:56, Reply)

I was about to say "I don't have your number"
but I do, so I'll just have to say "I wont remember to do it"
(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:57, Reply)

Sad fucking face.
You have the accolade of being next to SF, as your names begin with the same 2 letters.

Be honoured.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:01, Reply)

Ah, that explains the explicit texts you keep sending me.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:03, Reply)

I don't text either of you.
I only had it both times for directions to bashes.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:04, Reply)

That sounds like a euphemism

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:05, Reply)

lolol certainly was directed to a bash with SF lololololol
...I feel sick.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:06, Reply)

I was going to link that semi naked photo of him here
but I don't think people would forgive me.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:09, Reply)

Which one?
If it's the one with me in I will KILL you.

I hope Hexy never put that online :(
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:18, Reply)

His 40,000 post one.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:18, Reply)

Don't think I've seen that

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:20, Reply)

Here you go
www.b3ta.com/talk/6803388
slightly NSFW
(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:23, Reply)

Oh Lampito.......no : (

( girlinthehole, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:27, Reply)

It is one of my favorite pictures of all time.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:28, Reply)

it is a good one

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:32, Reply)

SF = sexface?
Did he touch you?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:10, Reply)

We should not speak of this.
I try not to bring it up, unless others do first.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:19, Reply)

I know what he looks like now.
Edit: posted this before that link was posted.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:24, Reply)

I hope you checked the link
it makes me lol.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:31, Reply)

You're horrible.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:31, Reply)

It's a brilliant photo,
makes me like sexface even more.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:34, Reply)

It's probably for the best,
I'm not very good at replying to texts
(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:06, Reply)

What would I have to talk to you about anyway?
I'm neither pander-material or a paperclip.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:08, Reply)

Sometimes he likes to insult people.
This is why I won't give him my number.
( girlinthehole, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:10, Reply)

I am able to have a conversation on many subjects
thankyouverymuch
(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:10, Reply)

Oh really.
REALLY.
You cunt.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:19, Reply)

You're going on the list.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:24, Reply)

Take your medication!
I'm super excited toooooo :D
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:58, Reply)

A month tomorrow
and all this exam stress will be a distant memory.

Unless, of course, I fail and have to retake :(
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:03, Reply)

Woop woop woop
Don't worry about that now.
I'll have to resit if I don't get off fucking b3ta.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:05, Reply)

Saaaame :(
Oh cunty cuntbollocks.

I'll just learn poetry about angry!sex.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:09, Reply)

Sadly,
I can't learn pharmacology and biochemistry on here. :(
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:16, Reply)

Take someone elses medication

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 May 2010, 12:59, Reply)

I'm considerably thinner than ever before in my adult life
which is nice

I noticed that I've got engaged. That is fairly significant.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:03, Reply)

Have I congratulated you yet? I can't remember
If not, CONGRATULATIONS!

Did she look rather quizzically at you as you slipped a tiny gold croissant around her finger?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:05, Reply)

ha, if only
but thanks :-)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:12, Reply)

Only just noticed?
Rohypnol obviously has a long term impact on mental agility
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:05, Reply)

I suspect that there is something else to blame for the state of my mental agility

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:12, Reply)

Congratumalations!

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:07, Reply)

thanks :-)

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:13, Reply)

Are we all invited to the wedding?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:14, Reply)

you have probably a year and a half to make me think you are worthy.

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:23, Reply)

I'm worthy you cunt
gaz me the invite.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:26, Reply)

we're not that far along yet
likely date is next september, and we only have the vaguest idea where

going to look at somewhere for ceremony tonight after work
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:31, Reply)

Well good luck,
I have no idea what is involved with planning a wedding.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:32, Reply)

nor do I
yet

most of it seems to be designed to rip you off. I don't care about things such as seat covers, and fortunately nor does my mrs.

reception is most likely going to involve various spit-roasted meats, and salady things, beer, wine and rock music. possibly in a field.

I found that some of my friends paid £100 a head for their sit down wedding meal. the place was nice, but the food wasn't special at all. I am not going down that route.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:35, Reply)

If I ever get married I would want a "Cowboy Fondue"
that I saw on a Jamie Oliver show, basically pitchforks and dead cows.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:38, Reply)

that sounds incredible
just found a place online that does them
portions are "large" or "extremely large"

:-D
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:41, Reply)

Almost finished with mine
Biggest expenses are: Marquee, booze and food. All in the thousands.

However other stuff really adds up if you go for a fairly traditional style. Really I think the key is for everyone to have fun, a few straw bales around a fire at the end of the night would be more fun than seat covers/classic car/flowers and a darn site cheaper.

We are having a pig roast and a lamb for the vegetarians
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:43, Reply)

that seems to be the case
we're not doing much traditional stuff, and the bales around a fire thing is the sort of thing we are after.

don't care about miss-matched chairs and glasses and stuff

preliminary costs are looking like about £2k for marquees (and all the gubbins like floors and lighting) and about £1.5k for the food.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:49, Reply)

Do get a good photographer though
My mates' was awful and they've always regretted it
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:51, Reply)

I know a very good photographer
who will do it cheap because he is a mate.

freespace.virgin.net/dan.bryan/gallery.html
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:54, Reply)

Very nice, also I love his website.

Ours is a photo journalist in real life, so specialises in an informal style, with far less of that awkward standing in a line with the relatives you hate and more really quality pictures of real reactions and moments.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 May 2010, 14:06, Reply)

that's cool
my mate is similar as he's done a load of wildlife and charity stuff. He's done the photos for my band when we've needed them too, which have come out really very well indeed, so have lots of confidence.

that said, I do still need to ask him to do it.

I'm hoping that this afternoon things will come together nicely, with the venue we are checking out being great, and my mate persuading his parents to let us use some of their land nearby for the reception.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 17 May 2010, 14:08, Reply)

Loads of useful resource on the net
The best we had was a list of thgings that need doing 1 year out, 9 months out, 6 months etc all the way dowm to 1 day out.

You wouldn't believe how quickly people get booked up!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 May 2010, 14:16, Reply)

that sounds handy
I'd appreciate that list, or any links you found particularly useful.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 17 May 2010, 14:22, Reply)

Unless movies have lied to me
you'll need a wedding planner. They'll either be an intensely annoying gay man or Jennifer Lopez, who you will end up plowing. Your call.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:35, Reply)

I find that jennifer lopez comes across quite well in films
so I would definitely plow (plough?) her.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:37, Reply)

I assume you're not referring to her acting ability
But yeah, would. As long as it was NSA. She must be fucking high-maintenance
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:40, Reply)

good lord no
I'm sure you are right there. At least she is rich though.

a certain amount of high maintenanceness could be handled for someone that rich and hot.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:42, Reply)

I dunno
The idea of being given a fuckload of cash to spend on a day out in New York City is only appealing if I didn't have to spend it all on a shrieking harridan
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:47, Reply)

how about if that shrieking harridan is really tasty
and you get to make the beast with two backs all night long?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:51, Reply)

I think I'd need the pop-pop up front
I mean, what if she's surprisingly crap at it?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:54, Reply)

hmmm, that is a good point
you'd need to try it out before you commit.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:55, Reply)

Exactly
There really should be a business that specialises in loaning out hot celebrities to ordinary folk for 24 hours. We might be onto something here
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:57, Reply)

I dunno
I'm working on my latest venture which involves hypnotising people into thinking they've had a fabulous holiday somewhere amazing, thus saving them the full cost and hassle of having had to go on holiday.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 17 May 2010, 14:04, Reply)

that's actually quite a genius idea
Like in American Dad when Stan puts his family in the simulator goo.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 17 May 2010, 14:10, Reply)

thanks :-)
I've had a few good ones over the years

highlights are: car-shaped irons (that go vroom when you push them about)
scotch onions
revolver bongs
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 17 May 2010, 14:15, Reply)

what the hell is a revolver bong?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 17 May 2010, 14:17, Reply)

wiggy will love this I am sure
a bong that looks like a revolver. you put your mouth over the barrel and pull the trigger, which simultaneously rotates a pre-packed chamber into place and strikes a lighter to ignite it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 17 May 2010, 14:21, Reply)

Wahey, congratulations!

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:15, Reply)

Congratulations!
And try not to spend too much on the wedding.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 17 May 2010, 13:42, Reply)

I'm not getting any sleep and I feel sick a lot.

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:14, Reply)

sleep feel sick crave cock
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:17, Reply)

Diagnosis: pregnant
Next.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:18, Reply)

I thought it was aids or something

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:23, Reply)

Only if you've had unprotected sex with a gay man.

( girlinthehole, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:25, Reply)

not recently
I thought it only came from monkeys !
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:27, Reply)

Cheeky monkeys?

( girlinthehole, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:28, Reply)

hehehe

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:29, Reply)

That I can no longer rely on being a student for much longer
And need to look at getting one of those 'jobs'. Two applications away, hopefully replies and salaries soon.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:19, Reply)

After only two applications, you'll be lucky.

( girlinthehole, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:24, Reply)

That's all it took me
I wanted to take some time off, so I didn't do it seriously, and before I knew, I was working. Now, I started when the economy was much, much better, and my office was desperate for workers.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 17 May 2010, 13:43, Reply)

I'm noticing that I'm getting stroppier with people who piss me off.
I've just had a row with the housing association of the flat I own in Blackburn because the fucking idiots installed a new front door and gave all the keys to my tenants, so I now don't have keys to the place anymore and my tenants move out on Saturday. ANGRY!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:53, Reply)

Letting agents are shit.
6 weeks after i've moved in they haven't given me the key for the letterbox.
I bet if I'm late with the rent they'll pay more attention, cunts.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 May 2010, 13:59, Reply)

Exactly
The guy I just yelled at claimed not to be aware that the property was being rented out, but I pointed out that they always manage to send my bills to the correct address. Apparently this new front door has been on since January but I was never informed, but I'm the one who's got to pay for the fucking thing. The dithering idiot at the end of the phone didn't know what to do and just kept saying "we gave the keys to the occupants, as is normal practice", but didn't have an answer when I asked him what I should do when my tenants move out on Saturday and I can't get into the property. God I'm angry.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 17 May 2010, 14:02, Reply)

you'll probably find your TA
prohibits withholding or offsetting rent for any reason whatosover.

advice on that from your friendly property litigator? MEH!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 May 2010, 14:03, Reply)

Blergh
why have you bought a flat in Blackburn? It's a dive!
(berk, Mon 17 May 2010, 14:06, Reply)

I used to live there, jerk!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 17 May 2010, 14:09, Reply)

I'm from Blackburn.
*agrees*
( girlinthehole, Mon 17 May 2010, 14:10, Reply)

it's true,
it's quite crappy, which is why I moved.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 17 May 2010, 14:11, Reply)

I speak
only in truths, my dear - no offence meant. I'm from Preston, after all, so my knowledge is first hand!
(berk, Mon 17 May 2010, 14:17, Reply)

Oooo! get us. All northern monkeys.
*high fives*
( girlinthehole, Mon 17 May 2010, 14:19, Reply)