Unusual fantasies about yourself
Sometimes, I like to imagine myself being wrapped up in bread like a cocoon, placed in an oven until I'm baked and then using the breaddy cocoon to turn into a butterfly who then breaks out and prints the map of a random location from Google-maps onto it's wings. What unusual fantasies do you have about yourself?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 24 May 2010, 20:06, 23 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Being made redundant with a whacking great pay off.
Then I can pay off my debts, bum around for a bit before finding a new job. Following the Government's announcement today about public sector cuts and their general antipathy towards RDAs, even though the one I work for is probably the best performing one in the country, this may not be such a pipe dream...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 24 May 2010, 20:21, Reply)

Sounds almost like what happened to me recently
but without the whacking great pay off, but at least I saved up enough to go travelling for a bit.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 24 May 2010, 20:31, Reply)

I have nearly 20 years service under my belt.
So on reflection I'm probably too expensive to consign to the scrap heap. Sad times :(

Although if you get the chance to go travelling, take it. It's my one regret in life - settled down waaaay too early.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 24 May 2010, 20:33, Reply)

In my company, someone was sacked, but when they realised they could not afford the pay off, they re-hired her. Sadly, I was not working long enough to receive any statutory redundancy pay.

I've often ended up going travelling during my in-between job-breaks, and will probably go travelling again this time round, but hope to finally settle down next time round.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 24 May 2010, 20:39, Reply)

And this is why you should never meet people from the internet
All of your worst thoughts about them will come true.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 24 May 2010, 20:22, Reply)

We've met
I shudder to think what your worst thoughts about me are :D
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 24 May 2010, 20:25, Reply)

I meant the OP
I loved meeting you and your lovely missus :)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 24 May 2010, 20:28, Reply)

Awwww.
*scuffs feet on floor in embarrassment*
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 24 May 2010, 20:29, Reply)

Ban this sick filth.

( thealternativefact, Mon 24 May 2010, 20:30, Reply)

PERVERT!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 24 May 2010, 20:31, Reply)

So by meeting internet weirdoes
I can expect any unusual thoughts about myself in the OP to come true?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 24 May 2010, 20:33, Reply)

Yeah', totally agreein' with you on that one.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 25 May 2010, 0:50, Reply)

What unusual fantasies do you have about yourself?
sometimes i like to imagine myself wrapping someone up in bread like a cocoon, placing them in an oven until they're baked then allowing the bready cocoon to turn them into a butterfly.
then i would eat them.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Mon 24 May 2010, 21:28, Reply)

Looks like I'll have to perfect my ninja-butterfly techniques while I'm in the oven.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 24 May 2010, 21:56, Reply)

or some kind houdini-esque manoevre?
perhaps you could secret yourself in the top oven whilst i believe you are in the main oven then pounce on me in a vampire-butterfly-ninja combo and catching me off-guard throw me in the oven and roast me to a self-basted goldenly glory.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Mon 24 May 2010, 22:04, Reply)

If I escape from my cocoon too early, I may not have time to turn into a butterfly.
Perhaps I can get by with being a moth instead and use the extra time to sneak off to the top oven.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 24 May 2010, 22:18, Reply)

or maybe you would turn into MOTHRA from the Japanese films...
in which case you would be too big for the top-oven.
instead you could wreak havoc in the skies...

right, enough of this, i'm off to bed. gotta be up early tomorrow!
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Mon 24 May 2010, 23:02, Reply)

Sometimes I fantasize that
I think that it's entirely possible that I'm a very far gone mental patient locked up in some 2ft by 4 ft padded cell, and every single aspect of what is going on around me is just a figment of my imagination. Sometimes I think if I did something truly bizzare like just strip and throw a load of stuff round the aisles of tescos everyone around me would just go on like I didn't exist and wasn't doing those things and all my fears would be confirmed.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Mon 24 May 2010, 21:39, Reply)

I like to fantasize I'm a mental patient who fantasizes about being me.

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 24 May 2010, 22:15, Reply)

I sometimes
imagine being able to squeeze all my squidgy bits out through my fingertips like I'm a giant tube of newly and interestingly curvaceous toothpaste.
Nothing particularly unusual about that, really. Bloody Christina Hendricks...
(berk, Mon 24 May 2010, 22:15, Reply)

You should market your own brand of toothpaste.
Curvaceous toothpaste - now you too can make crescent-shaped blobs of toothpaste on your toothbrush.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 24 May 2010, 22:20, Reply)

i catch myself
thinking I can hear what other people are thinking. Or being able to control their emotions with an imaginary dial in their heads
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 24 May 2010, 22:38, Reply)

I like squishing £4.99 chocolate catapilla cake from ASDA between my toes.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 25 May 2010, 0:50, Reply)