My bike cost me £25 second hand off a little old lady
I've had it five years, it's rusty and only two of the gears work, but it's never had a puncture, and I still ride it to work every day.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:17, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

bike blow job
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:18, Reply)

how do you ride a blow job to work
?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:19, Reply)

It takes skill and practice
but essentially, you sit on their back with your cock bent around into their mouth, smacking their arse with a switch and yelling 'MUSH'
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:20, Reply)

it's clearly harder being a boy than I thought

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:21, Reply)

Well it's not as hard
as pissing blood
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:21, Reply)

oh, that's easy
but no fun
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:22, Reply)

Would it not be easier to curl yourself around their shoulders,
such that you could have your pelvis over their left shoulder, allowing you to lodge your penis in your steed's mouth, whilst simultaneously looking over their right shoulder so that you can steer (largely by virtue of the death grip you'll have on the top of their head with your left arm) and leaving the right arm free to smack their arse?
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:23, Reply)

You've clearly only got a little one

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:24, Reply)

I'm simply providing practical solutions
for those not endowed with a Hitleric Gigantacock
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:25, Reply)

Anybody whose penis
doesn't look like a notorious dictator, or half-dressed superhero, will be sent to prison camps when I'm finally put in charge
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:27, Reply)

Oh.
And to think I spent all this time and effort to make mine resemble Robert Winston...
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:29, Reply)

there's a lot of penis talk on here today
wish I had one

not in a rude way...much
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:31, Reply)

You can borrow mine

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:32, Reply)

AKA NU-STALIN

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:31, Reply)

I'd never thought of it that way before...
Thank goodness for that. I shall dress it up to look more communist in time for the Monkeysex revolution.

(You do intend to revolve, I presume?)
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:33, Reply)

I wish

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:19, Reply)

Liar
you paid £5 and let her suck you off. And you caught herpes.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:18, Reply)

great minds and all that^^

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:20, Reply)

Best kind of bike in many ways
mine cost between £50 and nothing (inherited)and with one exception if I post one, i'd just be a good excuse to buy an new one to play with. The one exception is the one I inherited from my day, not least because it would be quite hard to replace, but also sentimental value.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:22, Reply)

In the way that it doesn't cost much it's fine
but in the way that it's barely a functional bike and therefore can't be as nice to ride as a decent machine, it's quite obviously crap.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:23, Reply)

It gets the job done
I don't want no poncey suspension or gel filled seats, they're all luxuries invented for female cyclists to cushion their massive vaginas
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:25, Reply)

Yeah, fair point
But with a little knowledge and some spanners one can get something pretty ridable for cheap.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:25, Reply)