Bicycles
I like bicycles, I have 5 of them and I'm very bored and can't escape from work for at least 3 hours, so lets talk about bicycles.

questions:
Do you have a bicycle?
What kind is it?
Does it go Zippy fast?
In what way's is it less gay than Al's bike?

Alt Q: Boris Johnson's Cycle Super Highways, great Idea or a bit gay?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:48, 135 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I have a 18 year old Carrera Krakatoa
Out of 'The Halfords', and i love it. It's seen a few crashes, a near fatality at 42 mph, a baby seat that my 2 kids screamed in terror in, and many spliffs.

Not sure how a bike could BE any gayer than Al's. It wasn't so bad, until he took the seat off and replaced it with 14 inches of fuckstick.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:54, Reply)

Well, in fairness one of mine
looks like this: www.mrtwig.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/bikes/Pannonia.jpg
which is pretty damn gay.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:06, Reply)

I should read things more carefully
I initially read that as "an 18 year old Kerry Katona" and momentarily thought a lot less of you
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:31, Reply)

I want a bicycle
but the one I want is a Paul Frank one and I can't afford it.

EDIT: www.outblush.com/women/images/2007/04/paul-frank-bike.jpg
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:58, Reply)

Thats pretty cool
For a girl's bike. I keep getting tempted by a more masculine version of that but I can see them being a pig to ride comfortably/fast for any distance.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:08, Reply)

yeah they don't appear to have any gears
so that would be frustrating.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:13, Reply)

Yeah, I can do single speed on a racer
mine'e from the 50's so only 6 gears and I don't bother changing them often, but on something with a heavier frame.....
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:15, Reply)

Got a Specialized Allez
and I LOVE riding it. I cycle to and from work every day and relish every minute of it.

Hoping to upgrade to a Tarmac Pro later this year.

I like Al's bike.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:59, Reply)

Don't tell anyone
but so do I, if I had the money and never had to leave it chained to a lamppost in Central London it's what I'd have. As it is I mostly ride a self built bike thats about equal pert's mountain bike & road bike with a hint of BMX around the edges, it's not worth more than £100 I reckon, originally cost me £10, the rest is parts, so if it was nicked i'd be pissed off but not to out of pocket by too much.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:12, Reply)

It's total overkill really
my Allez is more than good enough for the commute. I've been bitten by the bug and just want to go lighter and faster!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:41, Reply)

I know what you mean
I keep having to convince myself that my 1950's Allin is quite fast enough, but part of me wants a carbon fiber ridiculousness
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Jun 2010, 16:00, Reply)

This is my bike

(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:01, Reply)

And the "cycle super highways"
are yet another example of someone attempting to promote bike use but actually just making it even more dangerous because of the half arsed effort.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:02, Reply)

what's the cycle superhighway about?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:03, Reply)

He's painted a bit of some roads blue
but it's not wide enough to be a proper bike route, and they stop and start in places so they force cyclists into traffic. All in all they are a good idea, but very badly put into practice.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:05, Reply)

that's kind of how it is outside of the city in Manchester, the green cycle paths just stop randomly and cars are allowed to park on them
so it's more dangerous having the cyclists weaving in and out of traffic, although the ones in the city are almost non-existant so the cyclists have it just as hard there.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:08, Reply)

him personally?
did he just have blue paint left over from painting his garage?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:11, Reply)

I could totally picture him doing this

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:12, Reply)

I WANT TO TALK ABOUT MILTON KEYNES CYCLE NETWORK BUT I'M NOT ALLOWED.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:53, Reply)

that's awesome

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:02, Reply)

Clearly fake
that's nowhere near gay enough
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:08, Reply)

I ride it naked
and shit in the bucket
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:10, Reply)

That's still not gay enough
for it to be your bike the rear wheel would need a pulley system attached, which powers a motor attached to an enormous dildo, which disappears up your arse every time you pedal
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:16, Reply)

My bike got nicked
Don't know what the cycle highways are all about, but i took one of those hire bikes in Paris last year and cycled about, it was great.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:06, Reply)

shame :(
Was it expensive? From what I can see they are just big cycle lane, personally not a fan as it will get more cyclists on the road and they will tend to be the less competent ones + traffic does not scare me much so I'm happy without. Yes, I'm a selfish cunt.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:17, Reply)

£250 and I'd never even ridden it!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:27, Reply)

Seems like a lot to me
but could be a lot worse in new bike terms, I have low standards coz all mine are off ebay. still sucks though especially a you never got to ride it.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:29, Reply)

I find the more 'competent' the cyclist the more they do douchey things
like running red lights.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:31, Reply)

suppose it depends on your definition of competance
mine mostly has to do with being able to deal with London Rush-hour traffic without having to run red lights, ride on the pavement, or other girly cop-outs. In other words behave like a car.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:40, Reply)

no
alt Q: I don't know

/valuable contribution
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:07, Reply)

Tell us about your breasts
or your foo-foo
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:10, Reply)

erm...
I learnt earlier this week my breasts are too big for all those tops with empire lines. Will that do?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:14, Reply)

I don't know what an Empire line is
how big is that?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:16, Reply)

An empire line is a point in space that marks which 5th of your breasts is owned by the British government
All areas within the line are pink
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:17, Reply)

What if you are black or asian?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:18, Reply)

The government will paint you pink, like on the maps

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:18, Reply)

this is true
and in answer to the previous question - 1/3 of the planet
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:18, Reply)

sad times
for the same reason I've grown to dislike tops and dresses with a clearly delineated cup
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:49, Reply)

Yep
I've taken to cycling a lot this last year, and have just got back from a ten mile ride with a pub in the middle. My bike is one of these but in blue and with 21 gears. The upper gears could go a little higher, but it's a damn site nicer than my last one was.

Edit: Actually, I think the one in the link is the steel frame version. Mine is the aluminium one.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:12, Reply)

I have a bicycle
It was double suspension and I hate rear suspension. I had a friend make a bar to replace the rear shock. I went overboard and had it CNC machined out of T6 alloy then powder coated. He did it for free at work but if you take in to account designing, man hours and materials its probably worth more than the whole bike.
( Peej, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:14, Reply)

My bike cost me £25 second hand off a little old lady
I've had it five years, it's rusty and only two of the gears work, but it's never had a puncture, and I still ride it to work every day.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:17, Reply)

bike blow job
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:18, Reply)

how do you ride a blow job to work
?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:19, Reply)

It takes skill and practice
but essentially, you sit on their back with your cock bent around into their mouth, smacking their arse with a switch and yelling 'MUSH'
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:20, Reply)

it's clearly harder being a boy than I thought

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:21, Reply)

Well it's not as hard
as pissing blood
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:21, Reply)

oh, that's easy
but no fun
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:22, Reply)

Would it not be easier to curl yourself around their shoulders,
such that you could have your pelvis over their left shoulder, allowing you to lodge your penis in your steed's mouth, whilst simultaneously looking over their right shoulder so that you can steer (largely by virtue of the death grip you'll have on the top of their head with your left arm) and leaving the right arm free to smack their arse?
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:23, Reply)

You've clearly only got a little one

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:24, Reply)

I'm simply providing practical solutions
for those not endowed with a Hitleric Gigantacock
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:25, Reply)

Anybody whose penis
doesn't look like a notorious dictator, or half-dressed superhero, will be sent to prison camps when I'm finally put in charge
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:27, Reply)

Oh.
And to think I spent all this time and effort to make mine resemble Robert Winston...
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:29, Reply)

there's a lot of penis talk on here today
wish I had one

not in a rude way...much
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:31, Reply)

You can borrow mine

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:32, Reply)

AKA NU-STALIN

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:31, Reply)

I'd never thought of it that way before...
Thank goodness for that. I shall dress it up to look more communist in time for the Monkeysex revolution.

(You do intend to revolve, I presume?)
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:33, Reply)

I wish

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:19, Reply)

Liar
you paid £5 and let her suck you off. And you caught herpes.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:18, Reply)

great minds and all that^^

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:20, Reply)

Best kind of bike in many ways
mine cost between £50 and nothing (inherited)and with one exception if I post one, i'd just be a good excuse to buy an new one to play with. The one exception is the one I inherited from my day, not least because it would be quite hard to replace, but also sentimental value.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:22, Reply)

In the way that it doesn't cost much it's fine
but in the way that it's barely a functional bike and therefore can't be as nice to ride as a decent machine, it's quite obviously crap.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:23, Reply)

It gets the job done
I don't want no poncey suspension or gel filled seats, they're all luxuries invented for female cyclists to cushion their massive vaginas
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:25, Reply)

Yeah, fair point
But with a little knowledge and some spanners one can get something pretty ridable for cheap.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:25, Reply)

I've got a Carerra hybrid trail bike thing
It does the job for cycling to work and down the country paths, but I'd love to get a nice road bike AND a trail bike to replace it.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:20, Reply)

You have a ladyboy bike?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:22, Reply)

Yep
It's very accommodating.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:23, Reply)

As accomdating as TGBs bajingo?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:24, Reply)

You insert it into you when you ride
or do you fuck it into submission?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:25, Reply)

I can't cycle
so I don't have a bike.

But they are almost the only thing that can make me genuinely angry, when in the centre of town and they're cycling on the pavements, or in a pedestrianised area, shouting at you if you get in the way. I've never been so tempted to just scream 'cunt' at someone in my life
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:24, Reply)

*joke about Amberl's 'cycle'*

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:26, Reply)

Is that the same as her nice breasts?
Do you want me to send you a picture of her nice breasts?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:27, Reply)

I'm scared to say yes
but I'm going to say it anyway.

Yes.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:28, Reply)

big does not equal nice remember

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:28, Reply)

They're your breasts, you should know if they are big or not
they don't look particularly huge. Don't worry, I won't actually send bert a picture of them.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:29, Reply)

I'm quite glad about that

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:30, Reply)

It might shut him up for 20 mins.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:35, Reply)

still not worth it sorry
gaz him a picture of yours
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:36, Reply)

I have hairy nipples,
it would scare him.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:39, Reply)

not really
it'll help delayed his orgasm by at least 15 seconds though
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:41, Reply)

Big, nice
I'm not fussed either way, I think the world would be a much better place if we all just sent each other messages with photos of our sex organs attached
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:31, Reply)

well, speaking as a cyclist...
I agree whole heartedly, also hate the one's who thing red lights do not apply to them.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:27, Reply)

You should do, those people are cunts
I was walking out of Kings Cross and two little twats were riding their bikes round in circles and nearly hit me. I shouted "Get off the pavement you cunt!" in his face as I sidestepped his front wheel. He looked quite shocked.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:27, Reply)

it's a cycling city here
every student bar me seems to have one. The worst are girls riding ironic retro bicyles with baskets in front, generally wearing long skirts, or with flowers in their head. Back when I had a stick I wanted to poke it through the spokes of their bike
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:30, Reply)

you won't need to
their skirts will get caught and they'll flip over and faceplant the ground, flower and all.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:34, Reply)

One day it will happen
and it will make me very happy. The only bad thing about this city is that it does attract a number of cunts who like playing a role (in the non dirty and non RPG sense) and a lot of them aren't even students
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:35, Reply)

I would pay money to see that
weird really, love bicycles, hate 90% of cyclists
in no particular order:
Pavement cyclists
ironic retro cyclists
Lycra-clad ponce cyclists
Grownups on BMXs
people who use full-sus MTBs and never go off road on them
Anyone on a brompton
and so on.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:37, Reply)

You see that's just a twat attitude
Bromptons are a really good solution to cycle commuting when you need to get a train. And anyone who rides on the road remotely seriously knows that lycra is just the best material to wear, even though we all know it looks stupid.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:44, Reply)

hey, I wasn't just bad mouthing folding bikes,
They are a good solution to mixed-commuting as you say, but spending brompton-money on one is just brand-tax.

To qualify the Lycra comment a little, if you're actually racing or doing something that justifies it, fine, if you are commuting to work in it, you're a cock and a poser. Maybe if it's a long commute and it's utilitarian black shorts or summat, fine, but full-on Tour De Drance gear = poser.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:49, Reply)

If you have changing facilities at your place of work
then you would be a fool not to commute in decent cycling gear. As for it all being branded stuff, have you tried to buy decent plain cycling clothing? It's virtually impossible, I just want some black shorts as mine are ancient, and you can't buy them, so I'll end up having to buy something with a logo on it.

edit - also Bromptons are really good bikes, so if you are commuting every day and you want to do so on a reliable machine, they are an excellent choice. Plus they are made in Britain, which is a great thing to support.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:55, Reply)

nope, I commute in what I wear
always will, sometimes I tuck my trousers into my socks that's as far as I'm going, but hey it's your money, I wouldn't spend as much as you must have on a bike either, but it's all about personal taste/priorities.

Yes, bromptons are reckoned to be good bikes, I haven't ridden one personally, but so I hear and I believe it, however, personally I would (and do) ride a secondhand 70's folder when I have to make such trips and keep the £650 price difference(well I would if I'd had £700 in the first place)as I really don't think they are 14 times better, but again it's all taste.

Actually Bromptons are a bit like BMWs, very competent machines, but driven/ridden by twats almost exclusively.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Jun 2010, 16:09, Reply)

for my 15 minute cycle to work
I wear any old shorts and any old t shirt

the "experts" in lycra do not get here any quicker or less sweaty
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 16:15, Reply)

They do, however get there considerably poorer
or would if you both started off with the same amount of money.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Jun 2010, 16:17, Reply)

indeed
my beard isn't the most aerodynamic of things, so that probably has more effect than my clothes

I've been thinking of waxing it solid for swimming
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 16:19, Reply)

What is considered acceptable to spend money on then?
Obviously not stuff that makes you feel more comfortable doing something you enjoy, but presumably there is something you find it reasonable to spend your cash on?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 16:21, Reply)

you need my approval to spend money?
I'm not saying what it can or can't be spent on, just what I will think you are a poser for spending it on. However to take the question serious ly things I would rather spend money on than lycra cycling gear include:

Beer
Wimmin
more bikes
bike tools/parts
books
DVDs
going to gigs/the theater
Clothes that are not made of Lycra

I'm struggling to think of other stuff beyond necessities I'd spend money on TBH, either a simple life or a sad one I suppose depending on your perspective.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Jun 2010, 16:28, Reply)

I'm not seeking your approval at all
but it really is a sad situation where anyone wanting to spend money on nice things for their hobby is labelled by you as a poser. It simply boils down to jealousy really.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 16:30, Reply)

actual lol there
No Al, it's not anyone spending money on a hobby, it's cyclists wearing Lycra, and yes, it makes you a poser, live with it.


And, no, it's not jealous, your bike, yes I am jealous of that, I would't spend as much money on it as I suspect you must have, but I'd love to own it, it's beautiful. Lycra on the other hand I'd not wear if you paid me, sorry.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Jun 2010, 16:40, Reply)

It's exactly the same as someone playing amateur rugby in a rugby shirt
or playing amateur cricket in a cricket whites and pads, it's called wearing appropriate clothes for what you are doing. If you only cycle ten minutes then it's probably not necessary, but much longer than that then as I said, you are a fool for deliberately wearing clothes that make the cycling less pleasant. It doesn't make you "salt of the earth" it makes you a fool.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 16:44, Reply)

no it's the same as that rugby player walking to work in their rugby kit
I'm not the salt of the earth, never claim to be (white, middle-class, had it far to easy southern Nancy boy probably covers it), just less of a poser (in this area, probably not others)than you.
As for deliberately wearing clothes that make cycling less pleasant, well, this could be said (in the same way that you deliberately don't help starving children when you choose to spend your cash on cycling gear rather than donate it to charity), or one could just say I have different priorities and better, to my mind, things to spend the money on.

If, in your mind this makes me a fool, well I can live with that, and I guess you can live with being thought a poser
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Jun 2010, 16:54, Reply)

It's clearly not the same as a rugby player walking to walk in their kit though is it
that's a ridiculous rebuttal.

You claim to be really into bikes and think they are worth spending money on, but you obviously don't actually ride that much, because if you did you would realise, along with every single professional cyclist, that the padded lycra shorts and skin tight jerseys make riding for long periods of time vastly more comfortable than wearing an old T-shirt and cotton shorts. But if you do actually ride lots, then you're pretty stupid for not realising this.

Some people on bikes are cunts, some people aren't. People that ride a lot will buy lycra clothes to ride in as they are more comfortable. This has no correlation with their level of cuntiness, it's just being practical.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 17:03, Reply)

Yes Al, I'm sure you're right
your generalization about why people wear lycra is obviously more valid than mine /sarcasm

but hey I guess it's probably a mixture, some pose some practicality, still look stupid to me, but there you go.

As for how much I ride, maybe 50 miles a week all told, I have no idea if that's a lot or not. I do like bikes, they are pretty much my only mode of transport and it's a rare day I'm not on one, I also like repairing and building them, probably about as much, although I'm not a serious mechanic, anymore than I'm a 'serious' cyclist, make of that what you will.

You seem very aggressive on this subject, did I piss in your cornflakes at some point that I've forgotten? I men, so your a poser, on that bike what did you expect? I'd not object to being called whatever the opposite is for riding the collection of rust buckets that I do.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Jun 2010, 17:13, Reply)

Exeter is a ridiculous city to cycle in
as it seems to be all hills.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 16:18, Reply)

even the bits that seem flat in the car
are actually a torturous hill
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 16:20, Reply)

And are full on poncy students with their collars turned up
How do you not punch them in the face? I was there a day and most of that was in a pub and I got cross. There was a barmaid in The Imperial who had the poshest sounding voice ever (now I'm not normally one to judge just on that, but her subsequent behavior swung it). It took us about ten minutes to order the fucking drinks which consisted of 2 pints of old rosie, a pint of old speck, an orange and lemonade, a kroneburg and a cafe latte. And then it took another ten minutes to get them.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 16:23, Reply)

it takes all of my willpower not to punch them in the face
seriously, they are awful, and almost exclusively like that. they are shit bar staff as well

I can't bear to go in the imperial these days because they are such cunts.

fortunately, my local doesn't get many students in it, despite being in the middle of studentsville
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 16:29, Reply)

What's it called?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 16:30, Reply)

Henry's

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 18:16, Reply)

I love women in dresses on bikes.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:43, Reply)

Perv

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:43, Reply)

So people keep telling me.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:44, Reply)

Mainly girls in skirts on bikes I'd imagine

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:46, Reply)

...delivering a deft slap as they cycle past him, knocking his binoculars from his one free hand

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:48, Reply)

still counts as female contact.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:49, Reply)

I called a cyclist a dick for cycling on the pavement and forcing me to step in the road
and he stopped and turned around so I quickly crossed the road. I'm such a pussy.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:33, Reply)

Yes, yes you are
(making obvious name pun)
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:36, Reply)

I nearly did that yesterday
But I'm a relatively large bloke and I don't want to look like some aggressive wanker for shouting at a female cyclist. Then again I fucking hate pedestrians in London too. They should look where they are going the selfish cunts.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:36, Reply)

I have a Specialized Hardrock
and it's brilliant. And it will be taking me all the way from London to Brighton in 2 weeks' time.

It is less gay than Al's bike because Al has never wiped his balls on its saddle.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:31, Reply)

I've got some kind of shit Saracen mountain bike
it's currently upside down in my shed with the back wheel off because the spindle that goes through the rear wheel sheared apart.

Cheap piece of crap. it's not gay though, the tyres are far too massive and chunky.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:33, Reply)

for usage on dirt-tracks?
not gay you say
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:36, Reply)

no, I just have an inappropriate bicycle
I have never used it off-road
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 16:11, Reply)

Anyone here do any trail biking?
If so, what kind of names should I be looking for? A mate's recommended front suspension only (duh) and disc brakes. Anything else I should consider? I'm not going to get seriously into it, just something to do every now and again.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:33, Reply)

You should try Nigel

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:41, Reply)

Bike
I've got a bike
You can ride it if you like
It's got a basket
A bell that rings
And things to make it look good
I'd give it to you if I could
But I borrowed it
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:39, Reply)

UTTER FUCKING TUNE

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:39, Reply)

bet you also like
Daisy, Daisy
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:40, Reply)

Hal's version is absolutely epic

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:41, Reply)

I'm sorry I can't play that Dave

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:43, Reply)

Precisely that version
I like the way he gets slower and slower and lower and lower, not least of all because I can do a passable impression of it.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:44, Reply)

you could probably
make a good version of that
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:48, Reply)

Perhaps I should
The band probably needs another track to make our recordings long enough to fill an album - maybe I'll do an a capella version right at the end.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:51, Reply)

that would be fantastic
if you did do this, let me know where I can hear it
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:56, Reply)

I advise the following words
Daisy, Daisy, the cops are after you,
if they catch you, they'll flush you down the loo,
they'll tie you up with wire,
and set your pants on fire,
so ring your bell and pedal like hell,
on a bicycle made of poo.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 16:13, Reply)

My bike was stolen recently
and it made me sad

Now I have to jog everywhere if I'm in a hurry

On the upside, it will make me SEXY
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 16:00, Reply)

Running alone may not be enough to make you sexy!

(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 16:06, Reply)

I can't ride a bike :D

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 16:43, Reply)