I can't cycle
so I don't have a bike.

But they are almost the only thing that can make me genuinely angry, when in the centre of town and they're cycling on the pavements, or in a pedestrianised area, shouting at you if you get in the way. I've never been so tempted to just scream 'cunt' at someone in my life
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:24, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

*joke about Amberl's 'cycle'*

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:26, Reply)

Is that the same as her nice breasts?
Do you want me to send you a picture of her nice breasts?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:27, Reply)

I'm scared to say yes
but I'm going to say it anyway.

Yes.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:28, Reply)

big does not equal nice remember

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:28, Reply)

They're your breasts, you should know if they are big or not
they don't look particularly huge. Don't worry, I won't actually send bert a picture of them.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:29, Reply)

I'm quite glad about that

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:30, Reply)

It might shut him up for 20 mins.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:35, Reply)

still not worth it sorry
gaz him a picture of yours
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:36, Reply)

I have hairy nipples,
it would scare him.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:39, Reply)

not really
it'll help delayed his orgasm by at least 15 seconds though
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:41, Reply)

Big, nice
I'm not fussed either way, I think the world would be a much better place if we all just sent each other messages with photos of our sex organs attached
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:31, Reply)

well, speaking as a cyclist...
I agree whole heartedly, also hate the one's who thing red lights do not apply to them.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:27, Reply)

You should do, those people are cunts
I was walking out of Kings Cross and two little twats were riding their bikes round in circles and nearly hit me. I shouted "Get off the pavement you cunt!" in his face as I sidestepped his front wheel. He looked quite shocked.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:27, Reply)

it's a cycling city here
every student bar me seems to have one. The worst are girls riding ironic retro bicyles with baskets in front, generally wearing long skirts, or with flowers in their head. Back when I had a stick I wanted to poke it through the spokes of their bike
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:30, Reply)

you won't need to
their skirts will get caught and they'll flip over and faceplant the ground, flower and all.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:34, Reply)

One day it will happen
and it will make me very happy. The only bad thing about this city is that it does attract a number of cunts who like playing a role (in the non dirty and non RPG sense) and a lot of them aren't even students
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:35, Reply)

I would pay money to see that
weird really, love bicycles, hate 90% of cyclists
in no particular order:
Pavement cyclists
ironic retro cyclists
Lycra-clad ponce cyclists
Grownups on BMXs
people who use full-sus MTBs and never go off road on them
Anyone on a brompton
and so on.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:37, Reply)

You see that's just a twat attitude
Bromptons are a really good solution to cycle commuting when you need to get a train. And anyone who rides on the road remotely seriously knows that lycra is just the best material to wear, even though we all know it looks stupid.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:44, Reply)

hey, I wasn't just bad mouthing folding bikes,
They are a good solution to mixed-commuting as you say, but spending brompton-money on one is just brand-tax.

To qualify the Lycra comment a little, if you're actually racing or doing something that justifies it, fine, if you are commuting to work in it, you're a cock and a poser. Maybe if it's a long commute and it's utilitarian black shorts or summat, fine, but full-on Tour De Drance gear = poser.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:49, Reply)

If you have changing facilities at your place of work
then you would be a fool not to commute in decent cycling gear. As for it all being branded stuff, have you tried to buy decent plain cycling clothing? It's virtually impossible, I just want some black shorts as mine are ancient, and you can't buy them, so I'll end up having to buy something with a logo on it.

edit - also Bromptons are really good bikes, so if you are commuting every day and you want to do so on a reliable machine, they are an excellent choice. Plus they are made in Britain, which is a great thing to support.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:55, Reply)

nope, I commute in what I wear
always will, sometimes I tuck my trousers into my socks that's as far as I'm going, but hey it's your money, I wouldn't spend as much as you must have on a bike either, but it's all about personal taste/priorities.

Yes, bromptons are reckoned to be good bikes, I haven't ridden one personally, but so I hear and I believe it, however, personally I would (and do) ride a secondhand 70's folder when I have to make such trips and keep the £650 price difference(well I would if I'd had £700 in the first place)as I really don't think they are 14 times better, but again it's all taste.

Actually Bromptons are a bit like BMWs, very competent machines, but driven/ridden by twats almost exclusively.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Jun 2010, 16:09, Reply)

for my 15 minute cycle to work
I wear any old shorts and any old t shirt

the "experts" in lycra do not get here any quicker or less sweaty
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 16:15, Reply)

They do, however get there considerably poorer
or would if you both started off with the same amount of money.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Jun 2010, 16:17, Reply)

indeed
my beard isn't the most aerodynamic of things, so that probably has more effect than my clothes

I've been thinking of waxing it solid for swimming
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 16:19, Reply)

What is considered acceptable to spend money on then?
Obviously not stuff that makes you feel more comfortable doing something you enjoy, but presumably there is something you find it reasonable to spend your cash on?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 16:21, Reply)

you need my approval to spend money?
I'm not saying what it can or can't be spent on, just what I will think you are a poser for spending it on. However to take the question serious ly things I would rather spend money on than lycra cycling gear include:

Beer
Wimmin
more bikes
bike tools/parts
books
DVDs
going to gigs/the theater
Clothes that are not made of Lycra

I'm struggling to think of other stuff beyond necessities I'd spend money on TBH, either a simple life or a sad one I suppose depending on your perspective.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Jun 2010, 16:28, Reply)

I'm not seeking your approval at all
but it really is a sad situation where anyone wanting to spend money on nice things for their hobby is labelled by you as a poser. It simply boils down to jealousy really.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 16:30, Reply)

actual lol there
No Al, it's not anyone spending money on a hobby, it's cyclists wearing Lycra, and yes, it makes you a poser, live with it.


And, no, it's not jealous, your bike, yes I am jealous of that, I would't spend as much money on it as I suspect you must have, but I'd love to own it, it's beautiful. Lycra on the other hand I'd not wear if you paid me, sorry.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Jun 2010, 16:40, Reply)

It's exactly the same as someone playing amateur rugby in a rugby shirt
or playing amateur cricket in a cricket whites and pads, it's called wearing appropriate clothes for what you are doing. If you only cycle ten minutes then it's probably not necessary, but much longer than that then as I said, you are a fool for deliberately wearing clothes that make the cycling less pleasant. It doesn't make you "salt of the earth" it makes you a fool.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 16:44, Reply)

no it's the same as that rugby player walking to work in their rugby kit
I'm not the salt of the earth, never claim to be (white, middle-class, had it far to easy southern Nancy boy probably covers it), just less of a poser (in this area, probably not others)than you.
As for deliberately wearing clothes that make cycling less pleasant, well, this could be said (in the same way that you deliberately don't help starving children when you choose to spend your cash on cycling gear rather than donate it to charity), or one could just say I have different priorities and better, to my mind, things to spend the money on.

If, in your mind this makes me a fool, well I can live with that, and I guess you can live with being thought a poser
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Jun 2010, 16:54, Reply)

It's clearly not the same as a rugby player walking to walk in their kit though is it
that's a ridiculous rebuttal.

You claim to be really into bikes and think they are worth spending money on, but you obviously don't actually ride that much, because if you did you would realise, along with every single professional cyclist, that the padded lycra shorts and skin tight jerseys make riding for long periods of time vastly more comfortable than wearing an old T-shirt and cotton shorts. But if you do actually ride lots, then you're pretty stupid for not realising this.

Some people on bikes are cunts, some people aren't. People that ride a lot will buy lycra clothes to ride in as they are more comfortable. This has no correlation with their level of cuntiness, it's just being practical.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 17:03, Reply)

Yes Al, I'm sure you're right
your generalization about why people wear lycra is obviously more valid than mine /sarcasm

but hey I guess it's probably a mixture, some pose some practicality, still look stupid to me, but there you go.

As for how much I ride, maybe 50 miles a week all told, I have no idea if that's a lot or not. I do like bikes, they are pretty much my only mode of transport and it's a rare day I'm not on one, I also like repairing and building them, probably about as much, although I'm not a serious mechanic, anymore than I'm a 'serious' cyclist, make of that what you will.

You seem very aggressive on this subject, did I piss in your cornflakes at some point that I've forgotten? I men, so your a poser, on that bike what did you expect? I'd not object to being called whatever the opposite is for riding the collection of rust buckets that I do.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 4 Jun 2010, 17:13, Reply)

Exeter is a ridiculous city to cycle in
as it seems to be all hills.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 16:18, Reply)

even the bits that seem flat in the car
are actually a torturous hill
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 16:20, Reply)

And are full on poncy students with their collars turned up
How do you not punch them in the face? I was there a day and most of that was in a pub and I got cross. There was a barmaid in The Imperial who had the poshest sounding voice ever (now I'm not normally one to judge just on that, but her subsequent behavior swung it). It took us about ten minutes to order the fucking drinks which consisted of 2 pints of old rosie, a pint of old speck, an orange and lemonade, a kroneburg and a cafe latte. And then it took another ten minutes to get them.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 16:23, Reply)

it takes all of my willpower not to punch them in the face
seriously, they are awful, and almost exclusively like that. they are shit bar staff as well

I can't bear to go in the imperial these days because they are such cunts.

fortunately, my local doesn't get many students in it, despite being in the middle of studentsville
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 16:29, Reply)

What's it called?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 16:30, Reply)

Henry's

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 18:16, Reply)

I love women in dresses on bikes.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:43, Reply)

Perv

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:43, Reply)

So people keep telling me.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:44, Reply)

Mainly girls in skirts on bikes I'd imagine

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:46, Reply)

...delivering a deft slap as they cycle past him, knocking his binoculars from his one free hand

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:48, Reply)

still counts as female contact.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:49, Reply)

I called a cyclist a dick for cycling on the pavement and forcing me to step in the road
and he stopped and turned around so I quickly crossed the road. I'm such a pussy.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:33, Reply)

Yes, yes you are
(making obvious name pun)
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:36, Reply)

I nearly did that yesterday
But I'm a relatively large bloke and I don't want to look like some aggressive wanker for shouting at a female cyclist. Then again I fucking hate pedestrians in London too. They should look where they are going the selfish cunts.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:36, Reply)