Where did everybody go? It's Friday afternoon and I'm trying to procrastinate !

Tell me about your pets, I want a French Bulldog that I will call Claude I also want a cat called Chairman Mao.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:09, 76 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

You just ruined vitamin c's thread, you attention-seeking slag
and she's all nice and everything, I think you should apologise
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:12, Reply)

That thread is spam
Shouldn't you be singing some kind of spam song? By singing a spam song I mean gobbling a spam javelin.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:16, Reply)

I hummed the theme from Rainbow
will that do?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:18, Reply)

For now, for now

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:20, Reply)

The number or people posting relates to the number of shit threads.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:15, Reply)

I love you Psychochomp
No really, I do, and it's not because I find you particularly amusing, humorous or entertaining, but simply because of your numerous posts, you never seem to say anything more profound than 'I don't like this'
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:18, Reply)

I like this.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:19, Reply)

Dr.Bert cracks the mental nut that is MK chompy

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:19, Reply)

You're not disagreeing with me though.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:21, Reply)

I'm not complaining either, I like your consistency
and you're absolutely right, it's all a bit shit
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:23, Reply)

Please show your working

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:24, Reply)

Follow this link
it's all a bit shit
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:25, Reply)

Arf, too easy really, although you could at least have linked to Cave Duck

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:28, Reply)

Edited

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:33, Reply)

Standard

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:36, Reply)

todays threads by time
What are you doing this weekend?
Darths daily verbal diarrhea
What are you doing this weekend?
Shit annecdote
Please buy my friends crap
then:
Why is no one posting????
(PsychoChomp, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:25, Reply)

I think you might be paying a little too much attention
Go and have a lie down and think about non-internet things
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:26, Reply)

I can't I'm at work.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:27, Reply)

Don't you work in a hospital, loads of beds

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:27, Reply)

No I don't
also you probably haven't been to a hospital lately.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:28, Reply)

Oh, that's that then

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:29, Reply)

Duh
I've seen it mentioned on here loads of times, he's a motherfucking paper-adhesion technician for a provider of metal objects
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:29, Reply)

Don't be daft
Nobody falls ill or is ever hurt in MILTON KEYNES: CITY OF DREAMS!!!!!
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:29, Reply)

I own this T shirt.
www.balconyshirts.co.uk/Mens-T-Shirts/British-Towns-and-Cities-T-Shirts/p219_sc1388.aspx
(PsychoChomp, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:31, Reply)

Comedy T-Shirts are the lowest form of wit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:31, Reply)

I'm with stupid^

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:32, Reply)

I fucked your girlfriend

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:34, Reply)

My girlfriend is dead :(
...or at least, she fucking will be
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:34, Reply)

There is no comedy involved in that T shirt
it's a factual account.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:33, Reply)

*calls ASA*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:34, Reply)

I thought you might

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:31, Reply)

That man
is a sexy bastard
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:32, Reply)

+ CRUSHED

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:31, Reply)

I don't like this

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:27, Reply)

You missed Lady Gaga plumber

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:27, Reply)

That was shit annecdote.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:28, Reply)

Exactly

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:28, Reply)

why don't you post something interesting then miserable?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:32, Reply)

BECAUSE I'M BORED AND MY BRAIN ISN'T WORKING TODAY

(PsychoChomp, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:35, Reply)

It's all that midweek drinking and
the mercury in paperclips
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:37, Reply)

No drinking last night
just not much sleep and too much coffee.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:38, Reply)

I wonder if they are linked...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:39, Reply)

d Whistler
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 12:33, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post753006
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:36, Reply)

I wanted to link to a post where I tell you I really don't care what you think
but it turns out I've never written that to anyone else.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:42, Reply)

You so do care though
After Chompy I'd be your second choice for a B3ta-fisting
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:43, Reply)

Is that because Mao is actually Chinese for 'cat'?
Well, if inflected correctly anyway. I did have a Chinese girlfriend whose name, if mis-inflected, translated to "1,000 Ducks"
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:18, Reply)

top smuggery there

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:32, Reply)

Thank you
I'll take my croissant in the drawing room
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:41, Reply)

I've got a dog called Echo who was being naughty this morning, yiffing and whining since 5 am.

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:23, Reply)

Are you sure it's not a dolphin?
Careful now there are dolphin fuckers around these parts
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:25, Reply)

I don't think so....does she look like one to you?

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:28, Reply)

She is really very sweet
She'd be better with a blowhole though
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:29, Reply)

she has one
it's called her arse
she blows air from it all the time
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:33, Reply)

I appreciate your spelling of arse
well done
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:33, Reply)

nah, that's one more hole to slobber out of

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 15:03, Reply)

Yiffing?
I thought that was a furry thing.

*shudders*
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:35, Reply)

I want a big, labrador eating lion or similar
It can start by eating the three bark bark dogs who live at the house up the road and keep the whole street awake at night.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:24, Reply)

My mate's brother took his labrador to Kenya and it tried to shag as leopard
the leopard bit it's face off...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:26, Reply)

My god, how awful!
The third-person possessive shouldn't contain an apostrophe...
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:28, Reply)

Monty-cunt

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:30, Reply)

Scream it at him over and over again
and then go and headbutt a mirror. It's the only way they'll ever learn
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:30, Reply)

haha

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 15:03, Reply)

We need some sort of Leopard Hire place round our way
Maybe they could deliver to my neighbours' garden?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:28, Reply)

I'm thinking
Of smuggling a cat into my uni room next year. I'll give it some pretentious Roman name
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:35, Reply)

I have two rats, four gerbils and tank of fishes that depletes almost weekly for a reason I haven't figured out yet
One rat is evil, one is nice. One gerbil has no tail because another gerbil bit it off. My two girl gerbils keep humping each other, it's weird.

I want a kitty but they make me ill. Cursed loveable beasts.

I used to have a snake, but he escaped and went behind a cupboard and got stuck and died, which made me really sad because I didn't know he was there.

I have an awesome whippet as well, she's so full of spaz. Other than that I don't like dogs because they slobber and smell.

EDIT: I've just realised how massively autistic that all sounded.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:35, Reply)

Did I marry you once?
My ex wife kept snakes, which had a habit of escaping and stalking the menagerie of rodents kept in the spare room which included rats, gerbils, hamsters and two house rabbits.

Agreed on the dogs point.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:37, Reply)

ooh maybe I have a secret double life
so secret even I don't know about it!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 15:18, Reply)

f

u

c

k

m

e
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:39, Reply)

Quick!
Turn it into a cross-stitch poem!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:40, Reply)

fluffy animals in Kitty's house
ugandan snakes, fish and a mouse,
cat's she would love,
knowing well she'd need gloves
my prefernce is canals bricks and sacks
everday I drown those cats
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:44, Reply)

Very well done
I gave it a bash myself, but I'm no poet
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:45, Reply)

Neither am I by the looks of that piece of shit
but speed was the key!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:46, Reply)

Well, it impressed me
and I'm the most important person here
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:48, Reply)

this is awesome, especially in only 4 minutes
bet not many women say that to you.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 15:19, Reply)

I have two cats called Gilbert and George.
They are around 10 years old and drive me round the bend.


My parents have two Jack Russells called Benji and Biscuit who are like Valium on legs. It's just impossible to be depressed around them.

The end.
( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:47, Reply)