Famous People's Particular Football Skill, Deduced By Rhyme
Proof, if it were needed, that you can get away with any football related shit during the world cup.

Davina McCall - Aligning the wall
Phillip Larkin - Zonal marking
Linus Roche - Driving the team coach
India Hicks - Overhead kicks
(Cave Duck, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:42, 34 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Who sung this?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:42, Reply)

Is this a new meme?

( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:44, Reply)

I'm forcing it to be.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:44, Reply)

Curly Wurly - Elizabeth Hurley

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:44, Reply)

Harry Hill FTW!

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 14:09, Reply)

:-D

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 14:11, Reply)

I had an email from Amazon today
Conn igguldon is writing a 4th Gengis Khan book. I didnt realise he was going to write another, it's due out in September.

www.amazon.co.uk/Empire-Silver-Conqueror-Conn-Iggulden/dp/000720180X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1276694436&sr=1-1
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 14:23, Reply)

I have never heard of that person or his books
are they good?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 14:39, Reply)

Oh sorry
i thought it was you I discussed this with a while back.

They are excellent, but ignore my brain-wrong post. (It may have been Monty, i'll tell him when he gets back from porking his ex in Greece).
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 14:42, Reply)

It's OK mate, don't worry about it, there is litterally billions of people in the world, billions !
I'm sure someone, somewhere, feels the same way you do, is going through what you're going through, and got out the other side fine.

It's no problem, just let it out, chin up big fella, and whatever you do, don't take them, think of your family, they'ld be gutted, absolutly gutted. Go return them to Boots and treat yourself to a bag of chips on the way home.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:44, Reply)

clicked this

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 14:14, Reply)

Angela Rippon - Got a right nip on

( broadsword, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:47, Reply)

fuck football
it's all over everything at the moment, don't bring it onto b3ta as well.

you're making me ANGRY ONLINE.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:47, Reply)

I love football
img810.imageshack.us/img810/9022/2vcx5zb.jpg
(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:50, Reply)

I reckon the guy next to him is more brother than boyfriend.
Man, he's so lucky, if she was my sister she'd get it every day.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:52, Reply)

you are excellent

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:53, Reply)

Obviously, it was originally going to be a "Celebrities/Corset Related Stuff" rhyming thread
but I could only come up with

Gareth Hale - Bones of whale
Norman Pace - Tight at the waist

and the second one doesn't even rhyme.

Hale & Pace are of course the starting point for anything relating to celebrities.
(Cave Duck, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 14:29, Reply)

Michael Winner - Spunk in dinner

( broadsword, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:50, Reply)

Tom Baker - Penalty taker
Gustave Flaubert - Playing the ball square
Lionel Ritchie - marking out the pitch-y
(Cave Duck, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:51, Reply)

herbie hyde - offside
The Hoff - sent off
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:53, Reply)

Paul Hewson - complete wankstain

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:58, Reply)

It may not rhyme in any conventional sense, or have much to do with football. But that's the best one.

(Cave Duck, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 14:05, Reply)

I was going for freeform
and complete truth.

it's my new direction
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 14:07, Reply)

Oliver Reed - Defending a lead
Mylene Klaas - Defence splitting pass
(Cave Duck, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:58, Reply)

There's a chance I missed the bit about it being football related

( broadsword, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 14:00, Reply)

Miquita Oliver - Scores a goal then fucks broadswordiver

( broadsword, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 14:01, Reply)

That's the spirit.

(Cave Duck, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 14:06, Reply)

Football
can still get to fuck
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 14:13, Reply)

Any footballing jock - playing with his cock
(as they have little else to interest them during the world cup)
(Cave Duck, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 14:18, Reply)

That goes without saying all year round
Scotland are shit at everything, it's another one of the many reasons why I'm so incredibly bitter

EDIT I keep looking for a video of MArcus Brigstocke's 'Footbawl' sketch on Sorry, I've got no head, but I can't find it anywhere
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 14:19, Reply)

Doesn't Wimbledon start next week?
A chance to regain some national sporting pride, surely?
(Cave Duck, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 14:35, Reply)

Of course not, that little twerp will be lucky if he gets to the first round
I'm not really into watching any kind of sports, I'd much rather play them myself
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 14:37, Reply)

What, being healthy and active and all that?
Pah! I'm not sure we want your sort on the internet.
(Cave Duck, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 14:40, Reply)

Ah, it's ok
I'm only physically active, mentally I'm quite the retard
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 14:42, Reply)