Waaaaaah
My name is porkylips, I can't write decent paragraphs and I broke my boiler.
If only the internet will give me sympathy.

Waaaaaahh
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 15:50, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

shut up you beardy twat

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 15:50, Reply)

Pffffft
I like this
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 15:50, Reply)

Goddammit
I just accidentally clicked 'I like this' on my own post. Duuuh.

...and you, you beard-faced fuck, how dare you not get all UPSET ONLINE at my attempt to wind you up last week. You fucker, I had contingency plans in place and everything
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 15:51, Reply)

I don't get upset by things
and let's face it, I was being a bit of a cunt

what were the contingency plans? you've piqued my curiosity now.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 15:55, Reply)

Oh, you'll have to wait and see
but let's just say that it was going to be so out of order, I reckon I probably could have got your back up.
Maybe I'll post it later tonight, I don't have the files on me.

You weren't being that much of a cunt, you bloody woman
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 15:56, Reply)

that's why I said a bit of a cunt
that'd have to pretty out of order. but I know you have it in you.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 16:08, Reply)

Alright
but promise you won't cry, ok? It is a toned-down version of what I originally had in mind, but I will post later
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 16:18, Reply)

I can't promise not to cry I'm afraid
you might hit upon my weakness.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 16:21, Reply)

I know my misfortune will make someone else happy.
So I share. I'm like that.

And at least I write sufficient to require paragraphs you paragraphically challenged simian. Shame it's boring though.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 21 Jun 2010, 15:53, Reply)

It is that
and your misfortune has made me happy, right now I'm celebrating with a packet of mini cheddars
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 15:55, Reply)

I hope they are better than the hula hoops I just ate.
salty as fuck
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 15:56, Reply)

They are very nice
Did you put them all on your fingers, and then bite them and accidentally hurt your fingers, but then carry on biting them off your fingers anyway?

I love doing that
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 15:57, Reply)

the salt makes my cuticle wounds sting
waaaaah
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 16:03, Reply)

Awww.....
You have cute-ickle wounds?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 16:04, Reply)

haha yes, yes I do
I have tiny hands.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 16:06, Reply)

I'd like to see your
cute ickle wound
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 16:11, Reply)

it is ickle
don't listen to Larry Vest.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 16:21, Reply)

Mini cheddars are fantastic!
And only £3.98 for 36 bags at Asda.

Are they normal cheddars or one of those newfangled "flavours"?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 21 Jun 2010, 15:57, Reply)

You pikey fatty

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 15:58, Reply)

And your point is?
I take no insult from that.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 21 Jun 2010, 16:03, Reply)

See below, Bert sums it up quite nicely

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 16:08, Reply)

POVVO
You shop at SADSA.

They're the normal ones, I got the new flavours a while back, but they were all a bit underwhelming
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 15:58, Reply)

I'm a pensioner now.
Got to conserve the funds you know. And I only shop (slowly) when it's busy.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 21 Jun 2010, 16:02, Reply)

You should be horsewhipped and branded
you dirty, proletariat scum
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 16:03, Reply)

Ha Ha.
Back to work. Up the rigging you monkey.

I'll go back to lounging in the garden with a Pimms and some doritos while deciding which local craftsmen will avail himself of my largesse.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 21 Jun 2010, 16:07, Reply)

You are livin' la vida loca

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 16:10, Reply)

You'll never be be a big cheese with Mini Cheddars Bert, remember that.

(Cave Duck, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 15:57, Reply)

Pffft

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 15:58, Reply)