How wrong is it
that the x-ray pictures in the Metro today are actually turning me on?

www.metro.co.uk/news/832315-the-x-rated-x-ray-calendar
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:28, 53 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Link Please
I need something to get me going.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:40, Reply)

Very wrong
You're sick.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:41, Reply)

Well that goes without saying
but I'm not sure if it makes me a necrophiliac, or some sort of bone fetishist
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:43, Reply)

Well, they are alive
So, at the moment, you're free of that charge.

They are in sexy positions, but still, I like my partners more meaty.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:45, Reply)

Meaty, eh?
*raises hand*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:20, Reply)

Pfft!
You're not meaty.
( girlinthehole, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:24, Reply)

I'm meatier than I'd like to be
hence all the fucking jogging. Am perplexed by your wanting me to put on a stone thing. A 5'11" man who weighs 13st10 is not an attractive prospect, especially not with this face
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:28, Reply)

*shrugs*
I like chunky guys. Being a big girl myself, I like guys who are bigger than me. Makes me feel feminine innit.
( girlinthehole, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:30, Reply)

*draws line through BGB's name*
My list of B3tans who'd let me take a poke is more sparse than a list of amusing jokes that Michael McIntyre wrote himself instead of stealing them from other, funnier comedians
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:31, Reply)

Don't cross me off.
It sounds too final. Never say never is my motto.
( girlinthehole, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:35, Reply)

I've only crossed you off the B3tans list
Pretty much everyone I'm friends with on Facebook is still fair game. Except my ex. No point.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:39, Reply)

Woo!

( girlinthehole, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:40, Reply)

Your fiancee isn't meaty.
He's quite wiry.
( girlinthehole, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:25, Reply)

You have a boner for bones

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:45, Reply)

An osteophile?
(No, it doesn't sound particularly funny, I just wondered what the correct term might be)
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:00, Reply)

sounds about right.
Both words are greek-derived. Though the latin is from the greek.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:14, Reply)

it's a man

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:44, Reply)

Not with that pelvis it isn't.

( girlinthehole, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:46, Reply)

I wasn't serious

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:56, Reply)

I know.

( girlinthehole, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:00, Reply)

do you?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:01, Reply)

Yes.

( girlinthehole, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:02, Reply)

Splendid.

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:07, Reply)

Thank you.

( girlinthehole, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:09, Reply)

You are most welcome.

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:17, Reply)

Ever the gentleman.

( girlinthehole, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:18, Reply)

*doffs cap*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:28, Reply)

*curtsies*

( girlinthehole, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:28, Reply)

*pickpockets*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:43, Reply)

*cops a feel*

( girlinthehole, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:45, Reply)

I prefer women with a bit more meat on their bones
*drum-kit falls off cliff*
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:45, Reply)

It must have been a slow day in casualty.
Or the morgue.

Edit: I saw the full set the other day, and someone commented about seeing the silicon implants.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:51, Reply)

This is a shockingly non-offensive post
I'm not sure what to make of it.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:51, Reply)

It's just a ploy to get you here.
He'll call you a cunt in a minute.
( girlinthehole, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:54, Reply)

I thought that was you these days?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:55, Reply)

??
I'm all fucking sweetness and light me.
( girlinthehole, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:01, Reply)

Cunt

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:04, Reply)

Hello hon!

( girlinthehole, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:06, Reply)

I was trying to explain to my mother why I fancy skinny men
I decided it was probably because I like the shape of the skeleton. My mum was surprised I liked skinny men. I didn't think to ask her preference.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:13, Reply)

Is this an indirect way of telling us your dad is fat?
_Sorry...
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:14, Reply)

My dad calls me fat.
IT'S REVENGE.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:15, Reply)

haha
my dad was the first person ever to call me fat
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:27, Reply)

Fathers are mean
but mine has a point.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:31, Reply)

Of course , some would have you believe that the old "opposites attract" thing
is due to us wanting, on a basic biological level, a partner that balances our own shape so that we might produce "better" children.

Obviously I don't know Lampito to know what size she is so I'm not saying this applies in her case. But, thinking about it, I, as a fat bloke, have never actually gone out with a woman who was any bigger than about a size 12. I've never consciously decided not to, and there are plenty of attractive women of all shapes and sizes, so I do just wonder whether this entered my thought process.
(Cave Duck, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 11:16, Reply)

Teehee, would you, hoho, give ger, hahaha, a, teetitterify, BONER !?!?!?!?!?,

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:13, Reply)

I think you might
find it difficult to find a real person who looks like that, so you are automatically limiting your choice of potential partners
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:15, Reply)

What do you mean?
The graveyards are full of potential partners for Bert.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:17, Reply)

except presumably
the x-rays up there are of live people stripped down to the bone, rather than corpses arranged in sexy positions for a laugh
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:25, Reply)

I don't know that they aren't corpses.
And Bert isn't that selective, by his own confession.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:38, Reply)

and they certainly wouldn.t be very attractive.
how are you bbz? When's the date?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:17, Reply)

I'm good thanks
will gaz you on date. How are you apart from packing?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:20, Reply)

I await your gaz with bated breath

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:23, Reply)

Bet you'd prefer it if they were all dressed in black tie, and were a bit more blurry.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:39, Reply)