my boss only let me go to work for 30mins today
to drop off work i took home and pick up new work. you would think this was out of concern for my health. no, it is apparently because my tortured hacking cough is annoying everyone else. how rude is that!? on the plus side, i am now on the sofa with haagen-dazs and the football isn't too shit for once! is everyone else doing as well?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:53, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

no
it's 8 million degrees outside, my back is aching like a mother and I've still got 6 hours of work left.
Plus I probably won't be able to watch the football for two more days and even then it's likely I'll be bothered by people the whole fucking time.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:55, Reply)

oh feck
lots of that sucks. erm... it's halfway to the weekend, does that help?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:56, Reply)

not really
I'M VERY STRESSED *breaks down*

ah well, enjoy your day orf
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:03, Reply)

it is awful
when you are stressed AND hot, somehow it makes you more flustered and uncomfortable. ugh, poor Kristine!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:16, Reply)

NEIN.
I have spent a considerable part of my day trying to source an SS ceremonial sword on the internet, with a disappointing lack of progress.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:56, Reply)

are you ignoring me these days?
sigh.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:56, Reply)

NEIN.
I am most terribly sorry if you think that I am - you are completely mistaken. I'm a little busy reading, then re-reading, then pissing my pants laughing at Bert's dating profile these days - I hope you understand...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:00, Reply)

bert's dating profile?
do i need to see this??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:02, Reply)

Yes, yes you really do
Ask Monty for the link.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:06, Reply)

No need.
And I've saved it all in case he deletes it, too.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:07, Reply)

how did this become public knowledge?
i am intrigued by the machiavellian tendencies on here!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:15, Reply)

I know someone in central governement
he let me borrow his master password to the internet on the promise that I wouldn't use it to steal anyone's money or look at any porn for free.

Of course I was lying and I stole twenty pounds from Montys mum to make up for how disappointing she was.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:17, Reply)

like you don't star in half the porn out there
i know your type
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:18, Reply)

I only star in the ones they didn't want you for

(Bazongaloid, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:21, Reply)

we should make one together
i am thinking along the lines of "beauty and the beast" - "slightly raddled old northerner and slavering sexhound"? you can guess which is which.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:23, Reply)

I'll do the soundtrack
I'm thinking some kind of funk remix of the music from the Hovis advert
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:24, Reply)

I'll wear a flat cap
and she can wear a whippets dog collar.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:27, Reply)

it is your turn to wear the collar
my turn to wear the flat cap. my dad actually has about 7, i can steal one.

eeeeow now i am thinking about my dad AND a porn film in the same thoughtbreath. damn you al and vipros, see what you have done to me.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:33, Reply)

You'll be the sweaty girl meat filling
between your father and my quivering white buttocks as we both grunt and rut furiously.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:35, Reply)

at last
a fantasy i can flick the bean to whilst watching the football
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:36, Reply)

that's the dream

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:37, Reply)

Oh Em Gee
I'm so hot right now at the thought of double tagging Rachelswipe with her father while we all watch the football together.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:39, Reply)

I don't think you could call yourself a man if you weren't

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:40, Reply)

it is only for the truly red blooded
admittedly
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:41, Reply)

So seriously
when are you, me and your old man gonna meet up for a drink in a nice london hotel then? I've only got two and half weeks until I'm married so time really is becoming of the essence here.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:42, Reply)

why stop at my old man?
when we could have one each?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:44, Reply)

You mean bring Vipros along too?
That might get a bit weird for my liking.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:49, Reply)

yeah but vipros would love it!
be kind to the animals.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:52, Reply)

hey!
what are you trying to say?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:53, Reply)

that you're a tiger, baby
grrrrrr. rawr.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:58, Reply)

more of a lion
I'm sporting quite a mane at the moment

by which I mean I need to get a haircut because I look ridiculous
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:59, Reply)

i can't read this now it is too spread out
let's move the breast and beard banter to the other thread on bert's post!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 17:03, Reply)

alright

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 17:04, Reply)

monty was looking for men/things to date
he stumbled across bert's deviant profile and was overcome by lust.

he practically soiled his tweed y-fronts he was so excited
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:18, Reply)

there is a curious logic to this, my fine bearded buddy
whether it was monty or anyone else!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:19, Reply)

why thank you
it is nothing but the truth however
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:21, Reply)