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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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No point starting a new thread if everyone is watching the game : (
I've just finished my work for the day and everything.

Question: Who thinks I should leave B3ta before I start the menopause?
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:02, 131 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
you haven't started already?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:02, Reply)
No.
A little way to go yet.

And yes I get the sarcasm.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:02, Reply)
;-D

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:03, Reply)
what's the point in that then?

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:03, Reply)
I might be a nightmare.
All hormones and hot flushes and bad temper.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:04, Reply)
Would we be able to tell?
Everyone loves you really...
(berk, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:05, Reply)
Have you ever been near a woman with the menopause.
I have.

*shudders*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:06, Reply)
you just get all sweaty right?

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:07, Reply)
Noooooo!
You've seen the exorcist right?
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:08, Reply)
Surely haven't!

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:09, Reply)
Oh! well they get all evil and stuff and you can't reason with them and yes with the sweaty thing.
But hormone patches are full of win.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:11, Reply)
well, this is the internet
we can put you on ignore
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:12, Reply)
Strue.
Crisis over.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:13, Reply)
I wouldn't worry about it

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:07, Reply)
I dunno
I spent ages trawling pics to get a good PaintSmash of AmberI with Applebite's legs as boobs, and obviously took too long because every fecker's gone.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:05, Reply)
Show us then!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:06, Reply)
Two threads down, it's the only pic

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:08, Reply)
Nice!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:10, Reply)
Thanks!
I felt dirty carving around Applebite's leg and slapping it onto AmberI's chest. Might have subconsciously mumbled a few apologies.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:14, Reply)
I appreciated it
don't worry
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:06, Reply)
I was getting paranoid
What if I've pissed someone off? Fuck, what if I've put up a pic of someone who's not AmberI? I've never met her, what if I fucked up? Shit!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:09, Reply)
hahaha
not to worry, you didn't fuck up
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:10, Reply)
Eh it doesn't take much to fire my paranoia up

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:12, Reply)
Just don't listen to the voices.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:14, Reply)
Yep - that's what they all say about you.

(I helped save b3ta! Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:15, Reply)
Ever put up a picture of me and I will have you kneecapped
at the very least.
How goes, rotary saw hair?
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:15, Reply)
What if he posts a pic of your kneecap?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:17, Reply)
I try not to put up pics of others without asking first
I'm alright thanks Rootz, off in 40 minutes! And your good self?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:18, Reply)
Picture of Roota

(Bazongaloid, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:25, Reply)
Boss!

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:26, Reply)
I'm supa dupa ta luv
Aww, Al, you don't post that one enough
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:26, Reply)
it was a tiny bit scary

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:13, Reply)
I have decided to get to a bash and meet some B3tans -
just so I know who I'm talking to.
It's good to put names to breasts.
(I helped save b3ta! Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:17, Reply)
because you wish you looked like that?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:18, Reply)
if the legs
had been attached to my legs I would have been happier. As it is that is the worst of both worlds
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:19, Reply)
Hope you didn't mind it!

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:18, Reply)
it just confirms
what Vipros said. There are no good pictures of me :(
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:19, Reply)
I said nothing of the sort!
I merely said I was debating being mean and you jumped to conclusions.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:21, Reply)
the right conclusion
not that I hold any sort of grudge you understand

*plots*
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:23, Reply)
*narrows eyes*

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:25, Reply)
I wouldn't sleep
too soundly if I were you
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:27, Reply)
I don't anyway

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:28, Reply)
well sleep even worse

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:29, Reply)
charming!

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:31, Reply)
You'll wake up to find she's sneaked into your bedroom
and is riding your morning glory like the boy at the end of Rocking Horse Winner.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:29, Reply)
I would be interested to see how my mrs might react to that

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:31, Reply)
She'll be squirting like an orange in a hydraulic press

(Bazongaloid, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:35, Reply)
beautiful imagery

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:35, Reply)
And now I'm thirsty.

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:36, Reply)
Just stand with your mouth under Mrs Vipros' minge
she's dripping fast enough to irrigate the Sahara.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:39, Reply)
shows what you think of me
that you reckon that would be a punishment al
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 17:15, Reply)
Don't be daft
I only used that one because of your angle, and the big space to the left.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:22, Reply)
I always wondered if they called it the Men O Pause because that's when women tend to start putting blokes on pause and start persuing more worthwhile things....
... such as, oh I don't know, men are pretty shit, there must be something more worth while out there, donno what.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:07, Reply)
I'm sure it depends on which man.

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:14, Reply)
Nah', they're all a bit shit really.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:17, Reply)
as are wimmins

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:18, Reply)
Nah! wimmins are ace.
Even the moody cows.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:19, Reply)
a lot of women are shit
but I reckon it's more of a "people" thing than a gender thing.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:25, Reply)
Yes.
The people with willys are shit and the people with vaginas are ace.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:27, Reply)
Tell you what. While I think people with vaginas are pretty cool, I quite like the people with willys better.

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:45, Reply)
What type of question is that?
No, unless you create a better place where we can chat with you.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:15, Reply)
I'm only joking : )
I'm going to cover my whole body in glue and then my hormones can't escape.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:17, Reply)
Hahaha! Love this!

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:19, Reply)
You're making far too much of a distant thing.
I've had loads of friends and colleagues go through the change with no perceptible difference. Of course, their wifes have had problems.
(I helped save b3ta! Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:19, Reply)
Not that bloody distant sunshine.
Time passes quickly the older you are.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:21, Reply)
Welcome to my world.
Anyways - current spin is that life gets better after. Supposed to be liberating or some such.
And you will become the voice of knowledge and experience on B3ta for wimmin-related stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:26, Reply)
The only liberating thing is not giving a shit what people think of you.
Unless your Hyacinth Bucket.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:33, Reply)
Hahaha
Glue and tinfoil, to make extra-sure. We can help you on Sat.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:23, Reply)
I have some tin foil.
I should make a tinfoil hat too.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:25, Reply)
You'll look lovely

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:34, Reply)
I think tin foil will bring out the grey in my hair.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:35, Reply)
We can paint the tin foil with pretty colours
that make you look prettier. Green and orange, I see. Maybe a hint of red.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:38, Reply)
I can see this selling on Etsy.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:41, Reply)
I can't believe anyone would buy anything I make
But maybe I should try.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:42, Reply)
Best go now, just in case.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:21, Reply)
Ok : (
Can I just say goodbye to everyone first?
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:22, Reply)
Sorry, no.
Clear your desk.

SECURITY!
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:24, Reply)
*steals stapler*
*runs off*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:25, Reply)
*sees the whole thing on CCTV and sends the rozzers to lie in wait at BGB Towers*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:28, Reply)
*Hides near BGB towers with high powered rifle to take out rozzers as they approach*

(Bazongaloid, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:30, Reply)
My saviour!
*sighs*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:34, Reply)
Employs pincer movement,
…surprising Al from behind.

NOT FOR THE FIRST TIME THIS WEEK, EH, READERS?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:36, Reply)
Haha!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:37, Reply)
*is surprised*



*from behind*
(Bazongaloid, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:44, Reply)
*films*
*keeps in private collection*
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:48, Reply)
You mean you haven't already?
Crumbs!

I know Vipros already said this, but I felt it needed re-iterating
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:38, Reply)
I think that's fair

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:39, Reply)
Nope!
I'm still as moist as a wet sponge down there.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:40, Reply)
I heard it's a bit like this, complete with sign
www.ccswin.com/images/relocation_information/zoombabwe.JPG
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:43, Reply)
but not as full of germs

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:53, Reply)
No germs.
Bacteria.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:55, Reply)
Superfluous hyphen.

Actually hyphen person.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:50, Reply)
my boss only let me go to work for 30mins today
to drop off work i took home and pick up new work. you would think this was out of concern for my health. no, it is apparently because my tortured hacking cough is annoying everyone else. how rude is that!? on the plus side, i am now on the sofa with haagen-dazs and the football isn't too shit for once! is everyone else doing as well?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:53, Reply)
no
it's 8 million degrees outside, my back is aching like a mother and I've still got 6 hours of work left.
Plus I probably won't be able to watch the football for two more days and even then it's likely I'll be bothered by people the whole fucking time.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:55, Reply)
oh feck
lots of that sucks. erm... it's halfway to the weekend, does that help?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:56, Reply)
not really
I'M VERY STRESSED *breaks down*

ah well, enjoy your day orf
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:03, Reply)
it is awful
when you are stressed AND hot, somehow it makes you more flustered and uncomfortable. ugh, poor Kristine!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:16, Reply)
NEIN.
I have spent a considerable part of my day trying to source an SS ceremonial sword on the internet, with a disappointing lack of progress.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:56, Reply)
are you ignoring me these days?
sigh.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:56, Reply)
NEIN.
I am most terribly sorry if you think that I am - you are completely mistaken. I'm a little busy reading, then re-reading, then pissing my pants laughing at Bert's dating profile these days - I hope you understand...
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:00, Reply)
bert's dating profile?
do i need to see this??
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:02, Reply)
Yes, yes you really do
Ask Monty for the link.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:06, Reply)
No need.
And I've saved it all in case he deletes it, too.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:07, Reply)
how did this become public knowledge?
i am intrigued by the machiavellian tendencies on here!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:15, Reply)
I know someone in central governement
he let me borrow his master password to the internet on the promise that I wouldn't use it to steal anyone's money or look at any porn for free.

Of course I was lying and I stole twenty pounds from Montys mum to make up for how disappointing she was.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:17, Reply)
like you don't star in half the porn out there
i know your type
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:18, Reply)
I only star in the ones they didn't want you for

(Bazongaloid, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:21, Reply)
we should make one together
i am thinking along the lines of "beauty and the beast" - "slightly raddled old northerner and slavering sexhound"? you can guess which is which.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:23, Reply)
I'll do the soundtrack
I'm thinking some kind of funk remix of the music from the Hovis advert
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:24, Reply)
I'll wear a flat cap
and she can wear a whippets dog collar.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:27, Reply)
it is your turn to wear the collar
my turn to wear the flat cap. my dad actually has about 7, i can steal one.

eeeeow now i am thinking about my dad AND a porn film in the same thoughtbreath. damn you al and vipros, see what you have done to me.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:33, Reply)
You'll be the sweaty girl meat filling
between your father and my quivering white buttocks as we both grunt and rut furiously.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:35, Reply)
at last
a fantasy i can flick the bean to whilst watching the football
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:36, Reply)
that's the dream

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:37, Reply)
Oh Em Gee
I'm so hot right now at the thought of double tagging Rachelswipe with her father while we all watch the football together.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:39, Reply)
I don't think you could call yourself a man if you weren't

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:40, Reply)
it is only for the truly red blooded
admittedly
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:41, Reply)
So seriously
when are you, me and your old man gonna meet up for a drink in a nice london hotel then? I've only got two and half weeks until I'm married so time really is becoming of the essence here.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:42, Reply)
why stop at my old man?
when we could have one each?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:44, Reply)
You mean bring Vipros along too?
That might get a bit weird for my liking.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:49, Reply)
yeah but vipros would love it!
be kind to the animals.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:52, Reply)
hey!
what are you trying to say?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:53, Reply)
that you're a tiger, baby
grrrrrr. rawr.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:58, Reply)
more of a lion
I'm sporting quite a mane at the moment

by which I mean I need to get a haircut because I look ridiculous
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:59, Reply)
i can't read this now it is too spread out
let's move the breast and beard banter to the other thread on bert's post!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 17:03, Reply)
alright

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 17:04, Reply)
monty was looking for men/things to date
he stumbled across bert's deviant profile and was overcome by lust.

he practically soiled his tweed y-fronts he was so excited
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:18, Reply)
there is a curious logic to this, my fine bearded buddy
whether it was monty or anyone else!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:19, Reply)
why thank you
it is nothing but the truth however
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:21, Reply)
Shit! just realised it's home time.
Well at least the park will be quiet.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 15:55, Reply)
You'll have no-one to drink your meths with?
DAMN YOU, POINTLESS SPORTS.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:02, Reply)

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