Why did the little girl fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 9:55, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

That's bad parenting.

( girlinthehole, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 9:56, Reply)

No, that's Thalidomide

(Bazongaloid, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 9:57, Reply)

Beer snorts!

( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 9:58, Reply)

I expect to be reminded of this at every opportunity.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 9:59, Reply)

I'll do my best.

( girlinthehole, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 9:59, Reply)

Are you having a baby!?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 10:01, Reply)

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
No. There are certain aspects of the Geneva Convention that forbid it.

That, and the wife's strict "You shall not impregnate me until I am 30" regime.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 10:04, Reply)

Awww I was getting all excited there
There are going to be two babies at the Wedding. I haven't met one of them yet, but I'm assured she is very cute. The one I have met is definitely very cute.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 10:05, Reply)

You sound like you're a baby pimp, here.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 10:08, Reply)

Why, are you interested in buying one
I'm not saying I could help you, but you know, if you were interested, maybe I know someone, it's all I'm saying.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 10:10, Reply)

Is this some kind of contract arrangement?
When can I upgrade? How many free minutes do I get?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 10:12, Reply)

Oh it would be great if you could have a kid for a couple of years
and then upgrade to a better one.

I intend to bin my kid as soon as it grows out of the tiny pair of Converse I'm going to buy for it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 10:33, Reply)

She should seriously consider that position
I'm glad I didn't wait until I was 30 before having the nuggets.

Not saying she shouldn't...just that she should consider it carefully.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 10:08, Reply)

The real reason is that by the time she's 30
she is hoping to have found a better husband than DiT.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 10:09, Reply)

*snort*

( girlinthehole, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 10:10, Reply)

You bastard!

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 10:10, Reply)

I'm a *great* husband, me.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 10:11, Reply)

You're a *first* husband
.....

Just saying.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 10:14, Reply)

*Only*, I hope.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 10:18, Reply)

Unless you died
then I'm sure you wouldn't mind her taking a second husband, to fulfil her womanly needs.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 10:22, Reply)

I'd come back and fucking haunt her.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 10:24, Reply)

like doing DIY?
/dad joke
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 10:24, Reply)

I'm sure she does it herself quite a lot
I would if I was married to DiT.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 10:27, Reply)

only because thinking of coming home to him would make you moist
and you'd have to take yourself in hand
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Ha, we'll see.
She was shopping for baby stuff the other day (for her friend) and she looked awfully like she was starting to nest... She was horrified when I pointed this out.

I just don't want to be a really old dad, as long as I'm not 80 when my kids are 30 then I'll be happy.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 10:10, Reply)

Your only five years older than her, you won't be an old dad.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 10:13, Reply)

You don't want to be the embarrassment at sports' day
You want to be the dad who wins all the races.
I won the mums' race at the playgroup - to be fair most of the other mothers were either morbidly obese or pregnant.
Didn't stand a chance at the primary school races - mothers came with proper running spikes and coaches.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 10:13, Reply)

Hahaha
I'll do this.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 10:19, Reply)

my dad will be almost 80 when I'm 30.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 24 Jun 2010, 10:15, Reply)

OLDFATHERLOLZ
I bet he can't get a visa.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 10:17, Reply)

Didn't say it's a bad thing
It's just not what *I* want.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 10:20, Reply)

I don't think he wanted it either to be honest.
mum gave him the choice of children and her, or no her at all - so they had kids!
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 24 Jun 2010, 10:22, Reply)

I fucking love that joke

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 9:56, Reply)

DiT!!!
How's the week off been so far?
I miss you. And her :(
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 10:14, Reply)

Good thank you.
London to Brighton was brilliant, and we had a nice day out yesterday bowling, going to the aquarium and then a trip on the river.

Today I am waiting for my iPhone 4 to be delivered.

How's you?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 10:21, Reply)

I'm well good ta luv
Malmo is booked and we have to spend some time in DENMARK too!!!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 10:26, Reply)