Morning fuckers, I've got today, Friday and all weekend off now.
What should I do to celebrate this momentous time. Aside from MOAR BEEEEEEER of course, that's a given.

Alt Q: we haven't done fantasy festival for a while; which bands, existing or defunct would you have play at your festival?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 10:26, 69 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Guns and Roses
Metallica
Trivium
Chemical Brothers
Prodigy
Fleet Foxes
Nirvana
Rage Against the Machine
Elbow
Radiohead
QOTSA

I could go on and on...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 10:36, Reply)

You usually do.

( girlinthehole, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 10:39, Reply)

Really, coming from our resident emo blogger!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 10:42, Reply)

Takes one to know one sunshine.

( girlinthehole, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:04, Reply)

Headliners would be The Carpenters.
The Jam
Ella Fitzgerald
Faithless
Bread
KD Lang
Guns and Roses
The Pixies
The Pogues to round off the event.
( girlinthehole, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Dance naked under the moonlight
All the 4 nights

EDIT: another music thread; I think I'll go back to work.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 30 Jun 2010, 10:37, Reply)

me too
too much earthy humour for me.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 10:41, Reply)

be careful about dissing Ian Dury
there are some sensitive types about
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post770651
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 10:42, Reply)

harsh words
I don't even know who Ian Drury is so I'm probably already on the list.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 10:47, Reply)

Ian Dury and the Blockeads did "hit me with your rhythm stick"
and "sex and drugs and rock and roll"

the "who sung this?" and earthy humour things came about from some of their lyrics being posted
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 10:50, Reply)

I remember the original thread.
I just didn't know who he was. Much less care.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:01, Reply)

oooOoOOoOooo!

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:06, Reply)

Sorry.
Don't worry, I still love you.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:16, Reply)

then all is right with the world

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Ian Dury made me feel very bad as a child.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:42, Reply)

Me neither
Usually I don't know any of the bands they mention.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 30 Jun 2010, 10:52, Reply)

Caveduck is a boring prat

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 10:49, Reply)

maybe we just don't understand

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 10:50, Reply)

ha ha ha

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 10:54, Reply)

We are not sufficiently earthy in our humour.
*grovels* Forgive us, Cave Duck, we are not earthy!
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 10:54, Reply)

You probably don't understand because you're not a massive cunt
whereas I've been officially dubbed on.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:00, Reply)

who dubbed on you?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:01, Reply)

+hasn't

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:02, Reply)

I'd dub all over the dirty little boy
Dub him hard and dub him good.

Dub right over his grubby northern accent with some decent clean RP.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:07, Reply)

I hope the dubbing bears no relation to the way my mouth is moving at any given point.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:11, Reply)

It will be like a low-budget Portuguese film
Where the main character is a 12-year old boy, whose voice will be dubbed over by a 40-year old English man, with a translation written by an Italian.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:13, Reply)

I used to love the dubbing in Eurotrash
Horny old naked Greek men being dubbed by a high pitched brummie woman.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:14, Reply)

That brummie accent really does it for you, doesn't it?

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:18, Reply)

I read that as 'dubbing bears'
like it's some kind of exotic animal. I was like "what's a dubbing bear?"
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:17, Reply)

A rastabearian

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:18, Reply)

haha
that should not have made me laugh. Bad Crow!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:21, Reply)

Tell Crowsephine he's been very nuaghty
and then spank his bottom.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:32, Reply)

In order, headline to opener
Friday: Nine Inch Nails, Tool, Mastodon, Stabbing Westward, Spineshank, VAST
Saturday: Metallica, Slayer, Slipknot, Rammstein, Fear Factory, Strapping Young Lad
Sunday: Rage Against the Machine, Pendulum, QOTSA, A Perfect Circle, Human Waste Project, Pist.On
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 10:43, Reply)

I'm going to your festival
I haven't listened to Spineshank for years!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 10:44, Reply)

I started listening to them again a few months back
Under-rated band.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 10:46, Reply)

This would be an epic festival
*Saves pennies and prays*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 10:44, Reply)

If my festival existed, nothing on earth could stop me from going.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 10:48, Reply)

What about if someone removed your arms and legs and put you ona spike on london bridge?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 10:50, Reply)

I'd crawl there using my lips

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 10:54, Reply)

But...but...
they're all angry bands.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 10:46, Reply)

Well, most are, but I'm an angry person

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 10:47, Reply)

That surprises me a lot

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:03, Reply)

you should hear some of A Perfect Circle's stuff
not at all angry. quite beautiful in places.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 10:48, Reply)

Even Slipknot have some quiet songs these days

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 10:50, Reply)

What Vipros said
I want them to make another album, but I doubt that'll happen for a good long time.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 10:50, Reply)

a shame
Tool are supposedly working on a new album. can't wait.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 10:51, Reply)

So I hear
I expect it to be an utter mindfuck of spectacular beauty.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 10:55, Reply)

me too
given how Maynard's stuff keeps getting better, and 10,000 Days was outrageously good, the new one should be nothing short of sensational
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 10:57, Reply)

Agreed, the band just get better and better
Danny Carey has become one of the greatest drummers alive!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 10:59, Reply)

they are all superb to be honest
I learned the other day that Adam Jones used to play bass for a band with Tom Morello.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:01, Reply)

The Clash
The Jam
The Specials
The Stone Roses
Jedward.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 10:50, Reply)

I was going to suggest dancing around naked
but Aberracion beat me to it, sooo...

Try 3 varieties of cheese that you've never tasted before.
Climb some trees, preferably in a public park, and alarm passers-by by hiding amongst the leaves and making gibbon noises.
Read a good book.
Read a bad book.
Busk with a kazoo and see how much money you can make.
Discover a new species of invertebrate.

Alt Q: assuming deceased musicians can be resurrected for the purpose of fantasy, on the main stage would be The Who, Jimi Hendrix Experience, The Doors, Pink Floyd with Syd Barrett, Hawkwind, Quintessence, Black Sabbath, Deep Purple (either 'Mk I' or 'MkII' lineup), The Beach Boys, Hooverphonic, Ozric Tentacles and possibly King Crimson if they promised to stick to the early stuff.
I'd also have a blues stage to host John Lee Hooker, Muddy Waters, Howlin' Wolf, Otis Rush, Koko Taylor, Ian Siegal, Peter Green's Fleetwood Mac, Joanne Shaw Taylor, Billy Boy Arnold, Byther Smith, Albert Collins, Johnny Winter and others.
Jazz stage: Oscar Peterson, Grant Green, Louis Armstrong, Benny Goodman, Grappelli & Django, Ella, Nina, Miles and several others whose names escape me.
Acoustic tent: Son House, Bukka White, Leadbelly, Mississippi John Hurt, Emily Loizeau and possibly Bert Jansch.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 10:53, Reply)

I will place my booking now
If you can get Screaming Jay on the blues stage
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:14, Reply)

Hmm....
Firstly, I'd need a field and a select bunch of festivalgoers.

My lineup would be

Blondie circa 1981
The Happy Mondays
The Prodigy
Pop Will Eat Itself
Faithless
Orbital
Ian Dury and the Blockheads
New Order
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 30 Jun 2010, 10:57, Reply)

Would it be an earthy field?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 10:59, Reply)

The Happy Mondays played a festival near me a few years back
they were rubbish.
( Peej, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:05, Reply)

Were they off their faces?
A colleague saw them at Glasto in '95 and said they were pretty good.

Maybe they played better mullered?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:06, Reply)

Actually, I heard New Order's live version of "Love Will Tear Us Apart"
And it was dire.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:07, Reply)

In the 90's I bet they were awesome
but I saw them in 2006.
( Peej, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:10, Reply)

Should we put some sort of optimal date next to our choices?
I put Blondie circa 1981 mainly for aesthetic reasons but also to ensure "Maria" is off the playlist on temporal grounds.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:12, Reply)

Last.fm just played me a cover of Radiohead - Exit Music for a film by Vampire Weekend
God it was awful
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:00, Reply)

I'd stick Spacehog in there somewhere
Because they are underrated and would have been amazing in front of a festival crowd.
( Peej, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:04, Reply)

Semisonic, will smith, offspring, eminem and speedway

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:11, Reply)

I would totally come to your festival.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:31, Reply)

How can anyone dislike Ian Dury?
He did after all write the B3ta theme song.

Arseholes, Bastards, Fucking Cunts and Pricks.

(Plaistow Patricia)
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:07, Reply)

He scared me as a child.
I felt violated when I saw or heard him.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:15, Reply)

And look where you ended up!
Well worth it.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 30 Jun 2010, 12:56, Reply)

Maybe you should all just Go to the Download Festival
Most of these bands you guys mention have played that festival.
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 15:47, Reply)

what has that got to do with anything?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 16:10, Reply)