I have a week off soon
and no money. What can I do that is free and fun?
At the moment I have
*Painting my nails
*Reading a book

Which is a sad and pathetic list *sadface activated*

Alt: How much cash do you think I'd get for killing Lab and selling his organs?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:00, 113 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

where do you live?
if in or near London, there is loads you can do for free
Otherwise, long walks in thr country side with a nice picnic - you'll get a good tan/burn, and when you go back to work, everyone will go 'OMG, where did you go on holiday?' and you can go all smug 'oh, just here and there' and seem all cool and aloof and unattainable.
( ascorbate, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:03, Reply)

I live in the Midlands
AKA far away from anything fun
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:04, Reply)

well in that case
I have no idea. I have only ever driven through the midlands, and plan to keep it that way.
( ascorbate, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:05, Reply)

Unattainable
due to the scorching heat radiating from her glowing, lobstricated skin?
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:04, Reply)

Alt Q: Not much
PS: I hate you.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:04, Reply)

You loooooooooove me
I've booked October off for Pa's birthday are we going down on the train together? :D
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:05, Reply)

It's my Missus' birthday on the 19th
So will be trying to persuade her to have her birthday things the weekend before. If so, then yes we'll train it down to London together :)
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:07, Reply)

Ok.. I'm going to make excuses for you already
and organise things myself because I don't see that happening
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:09, Reply)

You do that

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:09, Reply)

I will do that

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:10, Reply)

Fine

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:12, Reply)

Isn't it

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:16, Reply)

Yeah

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:17, Reply)

You suck

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:21, Reply)

YOU suck

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:24, Reply)

Not as much as your momma

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:33, Reply)

a clean living lad like Lab?
you should be able to get a fair wedge for his heart and lungs. liver and kidneys probably not too bad either.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:04, Reply)

Just do the same things you do with your weekends
but at a more relaxed pace.

And whilst doing these things, have some dirt cheap white cider but drink it from wine glasses, as though it is a nice Prosecco.

And Lab's organs will be worth a FORTUNE. Very little damage I'd say.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:05, Reply)

I do nothing at weekends
My life is proper sad and pathetic
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:05, Reply)

waaaaaaaaahhhhhh

(PsychoChomp, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:06, Reply)

I know!
I may go and thrown stones at hippies in the park
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:07, Reply)

throwing stones at people is probably one of the reasons you have no friends.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:16, Reply)

she said hippies
not people
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:18, Reply)

You could get hippy-bashed one day
So have a little sympathy
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:19, Reply)

I'm not a hippy

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:21, Reply)

You know how a heterosexual but slightly camp male can be queer-bashed due to 'perceived sexuality'
Well you could be hippy-bashed in a similar way
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:23, Reply)

despite being surrounded by a fug of marijuana smoke
that is the only that makes me look like a hippy. The fact that I'm a big angry looking bugger with a beard tends to put people off trying to bash me.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:26, Reply)

But your volcano flares?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:31, Reply)

unfortunately, as much as you may like to think so
my flares are all reasonably subtle, and I wear shorts most of the time anyway.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:32, Reply)

And Jesus sandals?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:33, Reply)

good god no

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:34, Reply)

With socks

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:35, Reply)

I think now that Darth Foxtrot's gone
I might have to replace the Bumder Alerts with Hippy Alerts when Vipros appears.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:33, Reply)

but his flares are 'reasonably subtle'

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:33, Reply)

Ah, but that's his cunning disguise
People see 'reasonably subtle' flare and think nothing of it. In the same way that Foxtrot tried to use his hot missus to draw attention away from his Massive, Flagrant Bumderism so he could infiltrate our ranks and...erm...'infiltrate' our 'ranks.' Vipros will use his Understated Flares and Massive Croissants to infiltrate our ranks and slowly draw us into his Gaian Drum Circle.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:38, Reply)

The fucking druid!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:39, Reply)

You watch; the beardy bastard will be trying to sell us croissant-shaped healing crystals next!

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:40, Reply)

i'd buy several

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:49, Reply)

there's far weightier evidence that I'm not a hippy

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:40, Reply)

To be fair, there was probably plenty to suggest that Darth wasn't actually a rampant bum-plunderer
But where there's a dead horse, I'll be there to flog it.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:41, Reply)

I dunno about that
there's a lot of convincing evidence that he is a dirt-road bandito...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:43, Reply)

This is true
Like behaving like the world's biggest shirter, for starters...
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:46, Reply)

exactly
whereas my only hippy-like traits are smoking a load of pot and wearing flares. Which are outweighed by me hating everyone, not really being all that bothered by the environment and the fact that I shower daily.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:55, Reply)

I would point out that Neil the hippy hated everyone too.
Case proven I think.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:01, Reply)

And -
Tiny Tim showered all the time
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:10, Reply)

Yeah, but I think that was OCD.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:32, Reply)

Way to go, counsel.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:54, Reply)

But
you do have an acoustic guitar.
And I further put it to the jury, you play said hippy 'instument'.
Regularly in fact. Is that not so Mr Vipros?
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:51, Reply)

I rarely play my acoustic

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:53, Reply)

Yes or No if you please.
Do you play an acoustic guitar?
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:55, Reply)

I would estimate that I've played one for about an hour in the last month
compared to 20 hours of electric guitar
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:56, Reply)

So is that "Yes, I play an acoustic guitar"
The sort of guitar played by hippies, may I remind the jury?
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:58, Reply)

I don't think you are going to convict on this basis

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:59, Reply)

As part of the jury
I think you are sorely mistaken
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:01, Reply)

as if a jury would have you on it

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:01, Reply)

And I dare say you do not acknowledge the jurisdiction of this court.
However we take it you do play an acoustic guitar, and would probably like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony.
Was that a 'peace' sign you just made - no matter. Take him down, warden.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:03, Reply)

I can actually imagine you doing this
And cackling.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:21, Reply)

What's wrong with doing nothing?
I had a very active weekend and whilst I enjoyed it immensely, I'm going to make sure I do very little with my next one because I'm shattered.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:06, Reply)

Look at you with the rock and roll lifestyle

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:08, Reply)

there was a bit of rock and roll
But there was also cake and tea
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:13, Reply)

^this
I'd love a weekend doing nothing.
yesterday I got to lie in until 6.30am!! then spent the rest of the day caught up in a damage limitation exercise with the small person who has taken over my life. Fingers in sockets, eating the lavender plant in the garden, smacking his head off the windows, yanking the curtains down, gnawing on furniture. I'm actually glad to be at work today to get a wee bit of peace.
( ascorbate, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:11, Reply)

I didn't know you lived with Catface?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:13, Reply)

I did very little this weekend
I highly recommend it.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:13, Reply)

We spend all our lives having to do things
It's nice to do nowt and not feel guilty.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:17, Reply)

That was my thought
Although I am now craving Adventure!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:17, Reply)

I may try remember that treasure trail website
where people hide stuff places.... anyone?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:21, Reply)

Geocaching?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:24, Reply)

Yes
I just need a GPS device now
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:27, Reply)

You mean
Like an iPhone? ;)
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:28, Reply)

pft
The only thing that sucks more than an iphone is your face
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:32, Reply)

geocaching is just orienteering for stupid people
by which I mean people who are more stupid than those who go orienteering
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:28, Reply)

The special kind of stupid

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:29, Reply)

I can live with being stupid if it gets me out and about

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:32, Reply)

You've not got much of a choice, really.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:34, Reply)

'ow do Roota
Thanks for the obscure compliment.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:08, Reply)

Areet lad
You're welcome!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:14, Reply)

Shoplifting
Masturbation
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:12, Reply)

You could visit all the local sites of interest that you've never seen because you live near them
I have lived near Bristol all my life, but I have never been to the SS Great Britain.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:15, Reply)

I just don't know, TGB, I'm not sure at all.
I'm just replying here to say 'hi' and get a little bit of attention.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:17, Reply)

You must be deprived of it as I haven't seen you for ages
Have you got a dog yet?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:17, Reply)

Not yet, one day though.
I'm a bit "OH WOE IS ME" at the moment, well, kindda, I'm just shattered all the time, but I should get some loldrugz this week which'll perk me up next week, so I can resume normal service.

I been a bit busy finishing up a project, so haven't had as much time to dedicated to here =)
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:32, Reply)

You're neglecting us

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:33, Reply)

I just don't get the love an attention I crave any more =(

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:45, Reply)

you would if you were here
have you thought about random acts of altruism for people on the internet?
I'm a bit short on my rent this month...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:46, Reply)

Why don't you sell your car for loads of cash...

Pffft, sorry could keep a straight face, you might get enough for a trip to the ice-rink though.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:28, Reply)

I only have one car now
*sadface* But I would get loads of cash for it!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:34, Reply)

Sell your body?
You GET money for that.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:36, Reply)

Have you met her?
She'd only get money from those into 'inter-species erotica'.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:39, Reply)

Ok, offer guided tours of her vagina
It'll be the new Cheddar Gorge
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:42, Reply)

but the locally produced cheese tends to be smellier

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:44, Reply)

-bokes-
Oh, and b3ta.com/talk/6873016
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:46, Reply)

*dry heaves*

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:46, Reply)

too mean :o(

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:44, Reply)

Listen, Lampito, me and my mates have got *checks*, £36.21, but we'd need bus fair home, so that's £2 each...ermmm... £26.21 in total.
What do you reckon we could get for that money? I'm not used to doing this sort of thing, so I'm not entirely sure.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:47, Reply)

Give it to me, and I'll make it worth your while
By that I mean I'll run away with the money leaving you penniless and miserable.

AND I'll take your bus fare.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:00, Reply)

Worst. Whore. Ever.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:03, Reply)

:(

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:06, Reply)

Potentially quite an effective business model, though
Granted, you won't get regular customers, but then I'm not familiar with hookers having a customer service desk...
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:10, Reply)

A bit like Sweeney Todd.
or Bilquis.

Bilquis is/was a whore that ate men through her vagina. Bet you're gutted I didn't lend you that book!
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:12, Reply)

She has a cameo in American Gods
By Neil Gaiman. Very good book.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:16, Reply)

That was the book I was going to lend him.
It's a fantastic fantastic book. Re-read it for the 5th time and still felt amazed as all the twists came in.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:25, Reply)

It's his best book

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:30, Reply)

I need to check that out then
because I love his other stuff
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:38, Reply)

That is a little disturbing
You see, I've always been the sort of person that eats Jelly Babies head first so they don't see themselves being ingested by a huge, limp-wristed crow-obsessive. So if there's a risk of being vaginally ingested then I guess I'd have to put my head up there first, just as a safety test and...well, my head's quite big...
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:19, Reply)

Woh', I totally forgot that I wrote something on here....
... anyway, yeah', that doesn't sound like a good deal to me.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:31, Reply)

What sort of state are his knees in?
I'll pay £3.76 (= entire available funds) for a decent pair.
And I might be able to cough up more for some new lungs.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:45, Reply)

My knees are fucked
And because of your pun, you're not having my lungs.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:01, Reply)

Have a heart, son.
How about a two-for-one swop?
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:06, Reply)

Sunbathe perhaps?
or do some home decorating. Not much fun, but by the end of the week you'll have a nice new house feel
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:05, Reply)

Invite yourself to other B3tans houses.
Stay a night, ask make them take you to the next B3tan in the morning. Explore that B3tan's town, have them take you to lunch, stay a night. Repeat.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:20, Reply)

I do quite like this....

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:27, Reply)

Someone made a map of where B3tans live.
Actually, it is quite a good idea. B3ta Holiday Tours, anyone?

Some sort of voucher scheme? Each night you stay you issue an 'I Promise to Pay the Bearer One B3ta B&B' which can be cashed/traded by the recipient. It has a certain bohemian appeal.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 5 Jul 2010, 12:37, Reply)

Late I know but here is an idea.
Get a good friend to download colouring in pictures from the interweb and print them for you.
Then steal some crayons and have a darn good colouring in session.
It will make you happy.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:59, Reply)