I went to two
and I was originally referring to me motorboating TGB and CHCB pulling Sexface, as it was his thread.

As much as I enjoy arguing with you, somebody else brought you up, not me, so back off you demented harridan.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:53, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

As you're so intent to think that it's always about you
perhaps you should take a lesson from your own personal experience, shagging drunk men from the internet may yield negative results
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:56, Reply)

My bit of white-knighting for the day
will consist of pointing out that someone else bringing something up does not absolve you of responsibility if you then decide to participate.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 14:01, Reply)

The hell it doesn't
she attacked me, and has done so repeatedly. How I choose to defend myself is entirely up to me
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 14:06, Reply)

*shrug*
It may be that she's concealing her attacks particularly well, or it may be that you're the toddler who responds to a poke in the arm by hitting someone over the head with a plastic bucket. Who knows?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 14:08, Reply)

Nope, clearly I'm a psycho and shouldn't be allowed out in public in case I rape fellows from the internet who have previously been moral members of the community
See you tonight :)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 14:21, Reply)

RIBS!
*excites*

I shall make sure I'm wearing my rape-proof pants.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 14:29, Reply)

Hurrah and good choice my friend :)

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 14:42, Reply)

Since it's not clear from that thread who you were referring to, it's easy to see that you were having yet another dig at me.
Yes it can yield negative results, but many positives too.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 14:04, Reply)

See, same thing happened the other day
I amde a post that I knew you would take the wrong way, even though it wasn't directed at you, so I added a disclaimer and the mongtards still got their backs up.

I'm not going to stop posting just because you're a neurotic psycho
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 14:06, Reply)

This whole sub thread is going to confuse my vanity searches.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 14:23, Reply)

too much mention of the word rape?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 14:25, Reply)

shut it you fucking hippy.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 14:27, Reply)

you're the hippy
which it makes it worse for your victims, because they are unable to get the stink of patchouli and body odour from their nostrils.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 14:31, Reply)

jokes about rape used to be discouraged on here.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 14:45, Reply)

when was that?
I think that the you=rapist thing actually stopped being funny halfway through me typing the post above
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 14:46, Reply)

No, that was just your post.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 14:52, Reply)

I don't think so
it seems to me that the whole thing had limited mileage.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 14:55, Reply)

You weren't there, man.
YOU WEREN'T THERE.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:17, Reply)

Look Bert
we get it, you put your willy in a girl. But that girl is now asking you to stop bringing it up on the internet as it's a bit out of order.

I don't understand which bit of that you have such trouble understanding. You did seem like a reasonably intelligent person when I met you.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:57, Reply)

IT's because your friend is unhinged
she has a whole other side that I doubt that you will ever see, Al
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:58, Reply)

But you were happy to carry it on. What a guy you are Bert. Seriously, your daughter's lucky to have a man like you in her life.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:58, Reply)

...and we're all lucky that you will never reproduce
although those strong shoulders and that jaw line would look suitable on a boy
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:59, Reply)

I'm glad that I can't reproduce. It's nothing to be ashamed of.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 14:01, Reply)

I actually had no idea that you are infertile
I was merely making a reference to the fact that you're repulsive
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 14:04, Reply)

Thanks for that. I can't wait to see how your next child turns out.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 14:09, Reply)

I won't be having any more
but once you and I are married, maybe we could give in vitero fertilisation a go?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 14:10, Reply)

I forgot, you've sworn off women and young boys now.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 14:13, Reply)

I've started seeing someone actually, and she's quite lovely



also, 'waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!'
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 14:14, Reply)

Oh bless, did you meet her online?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 14:18, Reply)

I sure did
now tell us how many online internerds you've boinked in say, the last six months, hmmm?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 14:22, Reply)

Oh man, you wanna be careful meeting girls online, they're neurotic psychos and they're all fat too.
A reliable source told me.

Me? One
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 14:30, Reply)

Not this one
she's awfully cute and sweet and jsut lovely.

Her nan (who was like a mother to her) passed away recently, so I'm having to button it for a bit
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:20, Reply)

Well that's a pleasant thing to bring up too isn't it.
I'm astounded at how immature you come across on the internet, I had assumed from meeting you that you were actually an adult, but I guess you can keep that sort of thing down for an hour or two.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 14:05, Reply)

I didn't know she was infertile
she made comments about my daughter, I made comments about her being too ugly to reproduce.

...or am I supposed to exempt certain people from insults as you choose?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 14:07, Reply)

There is a pattern forming here.
Why does the world keep picking on Bert?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 14:10, Reply)

Because I'm fucking sexy. They're jealous
and they're waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahmongs
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 14:14, Reply)

To be quite honest...
...to an outsider like me it would appear more to do with the fact that you are not a very nice person, and may indeed have some severe psychiatric issues.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 14:19, Reply)

Naaaah
You lot get half a story and make up your minds, somebody with full possession of the facts wouldn't be so clear cut
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 14:21, Reply)

Someone who is clearly unbiased like you then.
Someone who gets his kicks from saying how totally awesome his girlfriend is and then sleeping with someone he's just met from the internet

Someone who appears to have a vengeful motive in destroying the other - oh wait, that's both of us

Someone who believes he's of sound mind and not easily swayed by emotions.

Yeah that's totally you Bert.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 14:24, Reply)

I'm not getting emotional at all, Becks
and haven't online since my return.

I'm biased, but I try to look at things from other people's perspective, it's just the fact that it keeps happening with you makes me think that maybe you're in need of help a bit.

I really was too drunk to know what I was doing that night, you know that more than ever since you filled in a lot of the blanks for me recently
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 14:40, Reply)

So what's your excuse for the next morning? Still drunk?
What keeps happening with me pray tell? You keep flouncing and coming back and being a shitcunt? My father keeps dying? Nope just the once for that one. I keep asking you to stop being so shit and leave me alone online?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 14:45, Reply)

I left you alone, Becky
get over yourself, I don't care about you in the slightest and haven't been attacking you. Your mate al's been on my case and I retaliated, simple as that.

I was still drunk for most of the next working day. This was 2 years ago, Becky. I know I was the best you ever had, but please, let it go.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:02, Reply)

Ahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
I love how you're still so fucking delusional
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:05, Reply)

We're totally meant to be together, Becks
Don't you think? Have you ever fucked somebody you really hate? I reckon it would be awesome
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:08, Reply)

Probably.
...but you do not seem to do yourself any favours.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 14:24, Reply)

I'm not going to back down this time
she's repeatedly pushed me off this board by fair means or foul, but this time I'm here to stay
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 14:41, Reply)