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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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That's pretty much why I stopped going swimming
that and my swimming buddy told me he pissed in the pool every time
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 12:52, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
I hated the middle aged women who used to stand in a pile at one end chatting about fucking nothing, really messing up your attempts to do length

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 12:57, Reply)
Pfffffft
'do a length'
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 12:58, Reply)
hurr hurr, you said "do length"

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 12:58, Reply)
*cockfives*

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:00, Reply)
Ew

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:00, Reply)
it's alright
I wiped it first
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:01, Reply)
Oh Bert, I just cleaned those curtains!

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:02, Reply)
I used baby Rosie Ceildhbandh's bib

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:03, Reply)
So you wiped it on a sheet of plastic covered in regurgitated breast milk and tears?

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:06, Reply)
it makes me feel like a big man

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:07, Reply)
Isn't there enough partially curdled milk underneath your helmet already?
Adding more will just make you look old and incapable of taking care of yourself.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:09, Reply)
I polish my helmet 5 times a night
it's in pristine condition
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:16, Reply)
Ah, this would be how you make it glow in the dark
And attract moths to its dull, throbbing radiance
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:18, Reply)
You're getting awfully lippy
for a guy who looks like Sigourney Weaver's effeminate sister
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:24, Reply)
I don't know whether that's a more or less embarrassing comparison
than my friend telling me I look like a deformed version of Twiggy.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:31, Reply)
I'd say less
at least Sigourney has an element of masculinity about her
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:34, Reply)
Yes, but it's going to be more difficult to masturbate
If I see Sigourney staring back at me in the mirror
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:40, Reply)
shush you

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:02, Reply)
NO!
RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:03, Reply)
Want your bad romance...

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:05, Reply)
Wow, I'm flattered, I really am!
Don't think it's appropriate though, as you're betrothed to Donkey Gums
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:06, Reply)

betrothed sold
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:07, Reply)
He's not accepted yet!
At the moment I'm just slavering over him
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:09, Reply)
I have the answer
1. Get gym membership
2. Swim during quiet times or use the designated swimmers' lanes
3. Get fit
4. ??
5. Profit!
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:06, Reply)
Where ?? =
"Visit the pool during busy times to exact your frenzied revenge with an amphibious petrol-driven lawnmower."
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:14, Reply)
This is an excellent idea
Patent it NOW!
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:26, Reply)
I am a member of the gym
they only have lane swim ONCE a week!! And the adult swim is at like 830 and I prefer to go straight from work :(

I may petition more lane swim days
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:19, Reply)
Yes. Petition time
Alternatively grow your toe nails so they scratch upon the ground and then you can dig them into passing swimmers.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:25, Reply)

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