this is why I don't do drugs, mon
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 14:17, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

He looks like the kind of chap to rip out a still beating heart

( broadsword, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 14:18, Reply)

That's also why I don't cage fight.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 14:19, Reply)

I went to an MMA event once
it was crap, only people that got bloody were these two fat flabby blokes
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 14:27, Reply)

Is it also why you don't do cage matches?
Edit: grumble grumble, second, grumble.
( Labmonkey last thought about having another coffee on, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 14:19, Reply)

AWESOME

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 14:20, Reply)

This is why I don't get my haircut at that chap's barber's

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 14:21, Reply)

I believe that in this context
the appropriate usage would be "hair cut", rather than all one word
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 14:24, Reply)

shut your face, sir

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 14:30, Reply)

Oh come on
How many chances am I likely to get to correct Monty's grammar before I die?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 14:43, Reply)

If he hears you already did you might die before sunset.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 14:48, Reply)

or just before dawn
Monty stalks his prey through the night, following just behind, ducking into the shadows if he wonders if he has been caught.
But he does not worry.
The wind snaps his cloak as he enters Darth Foxtrots garden. He is silent as he watches Darth sleep. He gently strokes Darth's hair.
He whispers in his ear, "You are mine for eternity," before kissing his neck, sliding his slick cock into Darths arse, and sealing their fate with the bite from his razor sharp vampire teeth.
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 15:08, Reply)

You missed out
he whispered "awooga" and patted Darth on the mangina

Also, you've thought about this way too much. Points for effort though.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 15:18, Reply)

You don't know what I think about!

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 15:35, Reply)

Sex and cake?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 15:39, Reply)

Just sex mostly

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 15:42, Reply)

That is repulsive.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 15:21, Reply)

That Nutella
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 15:31, Reply)

Big deal
That's old news. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, 1985. Not even the best of the Indy movies. Motherfucker needs some more contemporary references
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 14:23, Reply)

How do you get "into"
someones chest with your bare hands?
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 14:31, Reply)

he sliced it open

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 14:32, Reply)

That's what I get for not reading things

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 14:32, Reply)

WITH HIS FINGERS!
he's got magic sword hands!
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 14:34, Reply)

Feasible

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 14:36, Reply)

Punch hard enough and you'll eventually get some ribs poking out.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 14:33, Reply)

Yeah', ^ This.
The trick is to keep on punching until two ribs poke out and breaks the skin, you can then grab them and pull them appart, tearing the skin. From the whole, you can make it bigger and bigger, until you can fit both hands in the chest cavity and rip out the still beating heart.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 14:35, Reply)

Meanwhile the victim is going
"Ooooooooowwwwwwww!!!!"

"MUUUUUMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!"
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 14:36, Reply)

christ sake
if I had a willy I'd fuck that hole so hard his heart will be crawling out of his mouth just to get away from my thundering member
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 14:39, Reply)

If I had a vagina...
...I'd call you.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 14:43, Reply)

Cor

( broadsword, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 14:46, Reply)

POTD

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 15:09, Reply)

that's when you apply
the barbecue sauce
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 14:36, Reply)

Holy fucking shit !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 14:34, Reply)