There was this baby seagull
And he hadn't got the guts to fly yet.
And it was teeming with rain, and the hoomans were frightening him, and his mum was far away on the very top of the library.
So he stood for ages with his beak pressed right into the corner of a dark wall, in the rain.
He looked so dejected and desperate, like he'd begun to believe that the world consisted of those two grey walls and that his mum no longer loved him.
I got teary.

An hour later he was running about and talking to his mum again and I was plotting his demise, because we all know that seagulls are vicious cunts with human eyes.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 10:50, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Little feathery bitches
I'd do away with every one in a new and awful way.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 10:52, Reply)

I know
I wouldn't have minded if he'd been eaten by coyotes or whatever.
But his misery broke my heart.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 10:53, Reply)

I forgot L'pool had roaming packs of coyotes
Our town once tried using hawks to get rid of the gulls. It failed. They then tried using shotguns, and ended up shooting someone's car. Needless to say, this also was a failure.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 10:58, Reply)

We have hawks on campus at night
Evidently not working.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 11:00, Reply)

soggy pigeons always make me sad

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 11:01, Reply)

The misery!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 11:03, Reply)

Pigeons are rubbish
And wood pigeons look stupid.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 11:04, Reply)

No
I love wood pigeons.
One day I will hug one.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 11:06, Reply)

We have some that come to our garden a lot
I could post one to you if you like?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 11:07, Reply)

We have loads but they won't let me hug them

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 11:12, Reply)

We had a baby seagull here at work a few years back
which had fallen out of the nest, and spent the next couple of weeks strolling round the gardens until he learned to fly, with his mum keeping at bay anyone who approached.

We called him George.

George Seagull, see?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 11:00, Reply)

I see!
There was a little straggler outside our pub for a while in a similar situation.
Seagulls seem to hate the poor landlord. He's always being savaged.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 11:03, Reply)

They're vicious buggers
especially when nesting. Never walk through coastal cliff areas during seagull breeding season without an umbrella, or at least a big stick.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 11:05, Reply)

Or a dog-lead

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 11:06, Reply)

I'm thinking a sword.

( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 11:10, Reply)

A flame-thrower

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 11:12, Reply)

Ah, roast seagull!
I heard the other day that a certain Chinese chain restaurant round these parts had been selling seagull masquerading as chicken.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 11:14, Reply)

An Indian restaurant near me were caught on camera
When two waiters ran into the car park, grabbed a hapless duck, and pegged it back into the restaurant.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 11:15, Reply)