come over to my place for breakfast
I can change your mind
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:40, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

much as i never like to turn a man down when he offers breakfast
if bacon is on the menu, the polite answer has to be no thanks i'd rather stick rusty nails in my eyes!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:45, Reply)

This exactly.

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:46, Reply)

I will convert you both
you've just given my life a purpose
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:48, Reply)

you're going on the list, rswipe
I'm never going to try to be nice to you again
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:47, Reply)

yeah right
nobody dares to be mean to me, it's The Law.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:51, Reply)

I can't think of anything particularly mean to say to you now
...except maybe that from the photos I've seen of you, that you look a little bit like one of those rubenesque, inbred royals from the 19th century
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:54, Reply)

well this is like
a chanel purse and a holiday in the seychelles from most blokes so i'll take it and run. slowly of course because of the rubenesque fat on my thighs.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:59, Reply)

Hahahaha, smoooooth operator.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:49, Reply)

I don't think she wants a morsal of your streaky bacon, if you know what I mean.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:50, Reply)

no i don't know what you mean
pls to explain?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:50, Reply)

He means that I was implying that you'd have to stay the night in order to have breakfast
which I was, but I'm well aware that you wouldn't touch my 'streaky bacon'
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:53, Reply)

i am notoriously choosy about porking
and i can imagine streaks would be horrendously offputting.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:55, Reply)

they act like tide markers
by counting the number of streaks on my schlong, I'll know whether or not I'm in too deep
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:59, Reply)

Well, you said you didn't like bacon, which is fair enough, loads of people don't.
Take for example, the extreamly religious, extreamley alergic and the extreamly wrong. They tend to find that bacon is to salty and generally dislike the fat, which although has lot of flavour, if it's not crispy, can cling to the mouth, take time to chew, and the provides unpleasent thoughts along the lines of "Oh god, I'm in public, I can't swallow this vile thing that's in my mouth, yet I can't spit it out because I'm with some very good looking company. This is worst than the time I ordered a steak at Harvester on a date, there was more in my napkin than in me.". Streaky Bacon is called that because it has a lot more fat. Therefore, if it is not cooked to a crisp point, it has an unpleasent texture. However, to get the fat right, it means burning the meat part, which unless you're a good cook, also ruins it. When I said you don't want to try his streaky bacon, I'm using Streaky Bacon is a synomimumoumunuunmnmnmnmiuiu for his penis, which I also presume you don't want. However, I could be wrong in that regards, and if so, please accept my appologies forthwritly.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:59, Reply)

*licks fingers and wipes eyebrows*
You'd be amazed by my pulling techniques, Gonz
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:51, Reply)