we have wooden floors so Wiggy won't let me get a vacuum
there's a Dyson that came with the flat but it's shite. So there.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 14:02, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

YEAH KEEP GOING ON ABOUT YOUR FLAT THAT'S NICE OF YOU!!!!

(PsychoChomp, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 14:03, Reply)

Aw, poor Chompy.
Would you like to share my four-pack of Tennent's Super?
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 14:05, Reply)

NAH, JUST GETTING MY ANGER LEVEL UP BEFORE I RING MS HOUR LONG LUNCH

(PsychoChomp, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 14:06, Reply)

IT'S TIMES LIKE THIS WHEN YOU JUST WISH THE TELEPHONE HAD A CAPS-LOCK BUTTON

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 14:07, Reply)

I don't want to shout at them though
I want to maintain my moral superiourity. GRRRRRrrrr
(PsychoChomp, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 14:09, Reply)

talk really quietly
that'll make you sound more dangerous and likely to go on a spree of some kind.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 14:11, Reply)

So quietly that she has to keep asking you to repeat yourself
Then you can sound ever-so-slightly-more impatient each time you have to repeat yourself.

_{(I know someone who does this when she doesn't want to be disturbed. It's possibly the most passive-agressive behaviour I've ever encountered.)}
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 14:12, Reply)

there was a woman at my old firm who used to put her phone on DND all the time
so eventually the secretaries used to get pissed off and so we in IT would take it off for them. It used to annoy the hell out of her.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 14:26, Reply)

Negotiation strategy tips
Make a statement or when they ask you a crunch question leave a long pause before saying anything. Makes people nervous. Eye contact can help, but shame its on the phone...
( b3tz, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 14:30, Reply)

want me to help?
I'm sure I can thing of things to say to annoy you.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 14:08, Reply)

hahaha
sorry. You can stay over if you want, we can make smores and tell ghost stories.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 14:08, Reply)

And then she'll call you shit and dull and tell you she hates you.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 14:09, Reply)

don't ruin it!
I was going to embroider it onto the sheet in the spare bedroom.

That's right, I have SPARE ROOMS in my flat. They're not even being used, they're just sitting there.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 14:10, Reply)

I think we understand the concept of spare.
Am jealous my new flat for next year is gash.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 14:16, Reply)

haha!
you don't have me on ignore!

Psychochomp
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PsychochompPsychochompPsychochompPsychochompPsychochompPsychochompPsychochompPsychochompPsychochompPsychochompPsychochomp
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( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 14:17, Reply)

was this an elaborate ploy just to find that out?
because no normal person would start such a "rapey, sex offenderish" thread would they?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 14:20, Reply)

Haha!
Got me in one, Chompy!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 14:21, Reply)

If it took more than one I would be ashamed. You're not exactly 'subtle' are you?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 14:28, Reply)

shit is what I aim for, Chompy

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 14:32, Reply)

shall I start calling you Bert Hawkeye? or just cuntycuntycuntface?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 14:36, Reply)

I'd just like to point out at this stage
that I own quite a big house

my kitchen is so large I comfortably have a piano in it.

I feel I haven't been smug enough recently.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 14:18, Reply)

I'm going to cry

(PsychoChomp, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 14:22, Reply)

I'd offer you a spare room
but one is being decorated, and the other has a part time occupant

otherwise it'd be perfect
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 14:23, Reply)

he's lying,
he invited me to stay there about an hour ago. He said it's been freshly decorated for me and everything.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 14:24, Reply)

decorated for you and decorated for someone else are worlds apart though

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 14:32, Reply)

it's true,
a homeless person is probably quite likely to turn down a spare room if the decor is Baroque when he favours Rococo.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 14:34, Reply)

I see Chompy as an art deco kind of chap

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 14:37, Reply)

I see him as having a Warhol-style picture of Applebite
Who's looking shocked and clutching a towel to her, dominating one wall of his bedroom.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 14:40, Reply)

I believe you may be right
probably helps that the photo in her profile has just such a shocked face, so can picture it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 14:43, Reply)

mindpiss
albeit 3 mins later because I didn't f5
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 14:46, Reply)

I bet Chompy's the one who took that picture that's in her profile

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 14:46, Reply)

Actually he's more cubist
Here's a picture of him taken earlier today.


A promising career in football ruined by his inability to control where his headers went.
(Cave Duck, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 14:49, Reply)

that looks like the bastard child of Kryten and the Elephant Man

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 14:52, Reply)

Bah, I go to the effort of setting you up for a
"It never stopped Emile Hesksy" line and you've fluffed it.
Poor effort, Sir.
(Cave Duck, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 14:57, Reply)

I thought about a Heskey joke
but I was overwhelmed by the thought of what I posted.

I apologise.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:01, Reply)

it's true, you haven't been particularly smug of late
that post makes up for it in spades though.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 14:25, Reply)

I'm lording it over you because I have spare rooms
and you don't even have one.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 14:23, Reply)