sometimes you can tell when somebody is really fat
just from the way they talk about food
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 17:47, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

It's bit like how you can tell that someone is destined to be alone forever by the way they list all the women they want to shag in a half-joking manor.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 17:56, Reply)

I was going to post a longwinded reply here, explaining why you're wrong
but instead I'll just tell you to go fuck yourself, you fat, disgusting, shit-your-pants cunt

if anybody here thinks I'm coming onto them, I'm not. I have no interest in Off Topic women, I thought the simultaneous insults and come-ons were pretty self-explanatory
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:03, Reply)

Double Woh'.... =/
Did anyone else hear that collective sigh of relief?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:05, Reply)

I'm the one who should be relieved
B3tan women are among the most unattractive that I have ever had the misfortune to meet
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:07, Reply)

"women...I have ever had the misfortune to meet"
Mummy. Nana. Hookers.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:10, Reply)

But...but...
Oh, it's okay, you've never met me.

*breathes sigh of relief*
*online*
*feels validated*
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:14, Reply)

You know what I was saying about the 'old' lot from QOTW?
That's still true, I adore the lot of you and would ruin you all given half the chance. I would never deliberately insult, upset or offend either one of you, but these trendy kids with their hip-hop lingo and their poledancing right proper do my tits in
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:16, Reply)

Awww!
You old softy!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:19, Reply)

This is like watching a game of tennis
Great volley Gonz!
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:39, Reply)

Fuck you, PJM
You arse-licking scrote
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:43, Reply)

I expect better from you
Mr Wowbagger.

Gonz kept the retorts flying back longer than most.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 23 Jul 2010, 19:18, Reply)

because he's a retard
You shouldn't expect anything from me at all
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 19:23, Reply)

Woh'..... =/

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:04, Reply)

Go fuck yourself Gonz
You're a twat who most of the board members here have mistaken for a 'nice guy', because they pity you.

If either one of us is going to die alone it'll be you, because you're a mong.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:06, Reply)

Yeah', thing is, that ain't news to me, it's accepted, done and dusted, and if i'm wrong about that, all the better.
But to tell you the truth, I'd rather have a wank than have someone regret and be ashamed of being with me.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:10, Reply)

Well then I hope you have strong arm muscles
and a hell of a lot of loo roll, you grotesque, spasticated fuck
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:12, Reply)

Go take a couple of diazipams or whatever it is they prescribe you these days and chill, it seems you're getting very upset and I wouldn't want for you to do anything I'll regret later.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:18, Reply)

Do me a favour Gonz
jump off a bridge or take a bunch of pills, the fact that a belm-faced retard such as yourself so much as even breathes the same air that I do deeply offends me
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:20, Reply)

Quite a lot of things seems to offend you, but chin up big fella, they're not all out there to get you.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:23, Reply)

Nah, honestly there's very little that upsets or annoys me
least of all online. 50% of the time I think you're alright, I think you can be an amusing bloke, but the other 51*% of the time, I think that you epitomise everything that is wrong with B3ta, and indeed the entire world.

*I added another one percent, because I find you that annoying
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:26, Reply)

I sometimes find numbers hard too =(

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:30, Reply)

I expect you find most things hard, Gonz
except the contents of your colostomy bag
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:35, Reply)

What's your favorite nickelodeon show Bert?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:46, Reply)

I don't watch Nickelodeon
but I'm sure if you named a few I could go 'Oh yeah, I really like that one!'
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:53, Reply)